The Late Shift Page #10

I KNOW, I TOLD JAY,

WEST COAST IS BEHIND HIM,

BUT I CAN' SPEAK FOR NEW YORK.

YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT BOCA?

ONCE AGAIN, JAY AND DAVE

ARE IN COMPETITION

WITH ONE ANOTHER.

YOU KNOW, NOW

NEW YORK LIKES DAVE SO MUCH

THEY DON'T WANT TO LET HIM GO.

I MEAN, I LIKE DAVE.

HE'S MY FRIEND. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

I'M NOT ASKING THEM

TO NOT LIKE DAVE.

WHY DOES IT HAVE

TO BE EITHER OR?

THESE NETWORK GUYS...

THEY CAN'T MAKE

UP THEIR MIND.

THEY THINK THEY:

CAN JUST FLIP A COIN. DAVE OR JAY, JAY OR DAVE.

IT DOESN'T MATTER TO THEM.

YOU THINK THE MEETING'S ABOU CHOOSING BETWEEN YOU TWO?

I DON'T CARE WHA THE MEETING'S ABOUT AT ALL.

I'VE GIVEN THEM EVERYTHING

THEY'VE ASKED FOR.

I'VE GIVEN THEM THE DEMOS,

THE NUMBERS.

IF I'M THE ONE GOING DOWN,

I'M GOING DOWN SWINGING.

HEY, WHERE'S RICK LUDWIN?

HE LEFT TO BE IN ON

THAT CONFERENCE CALL FROM BOCA.

GUESS WHAT THAT'S

GOING TO BE ABOUT.

HEY, EVERYONE, I'M GONNA

CUT THE POSTMORTEM A LITTLE SHORT TONIGHT.

I GOT SOMETHING TO DO.

IT WAS A GREAT SHOW, REALLY. THANKS.

ALL RIGHT?

I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW. DEBBIE, THANK YOU.

AND I'LL, UH, I'LL SEE YOU

AT THE HOUSE LATER.

ALL RIGHT, OK, THANKS.

( door closing )

( cat meowing )

( man )

Are you reading us ok, can you hear us?

YEAH, I HEAR YOU ALL FINE.

We're all here,

you settled in?

You ordered the pizza yet?

( man laughing )

Thanks for joining us, Rick.

I know it's late.

We're all tired,

but we're here to discuss

and hear out everybody's opinion on

what we should do

about late night.

I THINK THIS SHOULD HAVE

BEEN SETTLED LONG BEFORE NOW.

JAY HAS THE JOB,

HE'S DOING GREAT.

HE HAS A GREAT ATTITUDE.

WHOA, WHOA.

WAIT A MINUTE.

I THOUGHT WE WERE HERE

TO TALK THIS THING OUT.

NOT TO DO SOME:

SELF-SERVING COMMERCIALS.

I MEAN, IF YOU WAN THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER JOB THAT BAD, RICK,

KISS JAY'S ASS

IN PRIVATE, OK?

I... I DIDN'T MEAN TO...

WE ALL SEE:

THE JOB JAY IS DOING.

( Dick )

His selection of musical acts,

UNORIGINAL COMEDY

PAST THE MONOLOGUE.

AND HIS PISS-POOR

INTERVIEWING.

WHICH, BY THE WAY, LOOKS LIKE

IT WILL NEVER GET ANY BETTER.

LET'S TALK

ABOUT WHAT WE THINK IT WOULD REALLY COST US

TO MATCH C.B.S.'S

OFFER FOR LETTERMAN.

AND ON THE OTHER HAND,

IF LENO QUITS TO GO TO C.B.S.,

are we out from

under the $10 million we'd owe him if we fired him?

( Dick )

Warren?

( Warren )

I've got some serious concerns here,

AND I DON'T THINK

YOU CAN JUST THROW OFF JAY

WITH A COUPLE OF...

OH, JACK!

JACK, IT'S VERY GOOD

OF YOU TO COME SO LATE.

OH, PLEASE SIT.

AND KEEP TALKING, EVERYBODY.

I'M JUST HERE TO LISTEN.

SORRY IT'S SO WARM,

THE AIR CONDITIONING WENT OUT.

UM,

WARREN,

WHY DON'T YOU CONTINUE?

OH, ALL RIGHT.

WELL, UH, MY FEAR IS THA LETTERMAN WON'T COOPERATE.

IT ISN'T IN HIS PERSONALITY,

HE'LL STIFF US.

YOU KNOW, REMEMBER,

THIS IS THE GUY:

WHO KICKS N.B.C.

EXECUTIVES OUT OF HIS ANNIVERSARY PARTIES.

THAT'S AN OLD STORY...

EXCUSE ME.

EXCUSE ME FOR A MINUTE.

THERE'S STILL

A SERIOUS QUESTION

THAT HIS ACT CAN

PLAY AN HOUR EARLIER. A LOT OF US THINK IT WON'T.

AND DON'T FORGET.

WITH LENO,

WE OWN THE SHOW AGAIN.

LETTERMAN WANTS:

TO OWN HIS SHOW.

THEN HE HAS ALL:

THE ANCILLARY PROFITS.

MAY I SAY SOMETHING HERE?

JACK, PLEASE, OF COURSE.

YOU KNOW, I'M NOT A REGULAR

LATE NIGHT VIEWER,

SO I WOULDN' PRESUME TO MAKE A CALL

ABOUT WHO'S

THE BEST COMEDIAN.

ALL I WANT TO SAY IS THIS,

AS ALWAYS I'M FOR WHATEVER

IS THE BEST BUSINESS DEAL.

THAT'S FOR YOU, BOB,

AND YOUR PEOPLE TO DETERMINE.

HOWEVER,

IF THE DECISION COMES DOWN TO A TIE ON ALL ANGLES,

I'D CAST MY VOTE FOR LOYALTY.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT,

GOOD NIGHT, JACK.

THANKS VERY MUCH

FOR DROPPING BY.

( Bob )

I THINK THAT ABOUT WRAPS IT UP.

WE'LL MEET AGAIN TOMORROW.

( Betty )

WHAT I AM WORRIED ABOUT IS WHAT WE WILL LOOK LIKE,

IF WE THROW OU THE LOYAL DOG,

WE'LL BE CAST AS

OPPORTUNISTIC VENAL SHITS.

IT'LL BE PAULEY-NORVILLE

ALL OVER AGAIN.

( Bob )

BETTY, HOW THE HELL IS THIS PAULEY-NORVILLE?

( Jay )

HEY, WARREN, IT'S JAY. HOW'RE YOU DOING?

HEY, I KNOW YOU'RE

PROBABLY ALL TIRED

FROM SITTING THROUGH

THOSE BORING G.E. MEETINGS.

I BET I'M CATCHING YOU

JUST AS YOU WERE

ABOUT TO SI DOWN ON THE TOILET.

That was quite a meeting

you had last night, you know that.

I... I HOPE G.E. PROTECTS

ITS NUCLEAR SECRETS BETTER

THAN THEY PROTEC THEIR LATE NIGHT SECRETS.

I, UH, I THOUGHT IT WAS

TOO BAD TO HEAR THA DICK EBERSOL WAS

NO JAY LENO FAN.

ALTHOUGH IT WAS:

GOOD TO KNOW THAT, UH,

JACK WELCH WAS IS

IN FAVOR OF LOYALTY.

YOU KNOW,

AS LONG AS IT CAME DOWN TO A "TIE ON ALL ANGLES."

HOLY SH*T, JAY.

HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR INFORMATION?

YOU KNOW, I MAY LOOK STUPID,

BUT I'M ITALIAN.

I... I KNOW HOW TO

FIND INFORMATION.

L-L-LISTEN, JAY, DON' TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS.

WARREN, YOU DON'T HAVE

TO WORRY, YOUR SECRETS ARE SAFE WITH ME.

I WON'T BREAK THE G.E. CODE.

LISTEN,

JUST HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME IN BEAUTIFUL SUNNY FLORIDA.

( laughing )

( water flushing )

BETTY,

WE HAVE A SECURITY LEAK OF ENORMOUS PROPORTIONS.

( audience applauding )

Paul Shaffer, uh, ladies and gentlemen.

( David )

OOH, WELL, THAT SUCKED.

LET'S SEE HOW BAD

WE CAN WRITE TOMORROW'S.

JOHN, YOU HAVE SOME TOP 10...

YEAH, THE TOP 10 REASONS

SINEAD O'CONNOR HATES THE POPE.

NO, NO, NO, NO CAN DO.

WE GOT A MEMO FROM N.B.C.

STANDARDS AND PRACTICES

IS RIP-SHI OVER HER TEARING

THE POPE IN HALF ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE.

( David )

I DON'T CARE. WRITE THE JOKE. NO SINEAD O'CONNOR JOKES.

AND NOW N.B.C.'S TELLING US

WHAT JOKES WE CAN AND CAN'T DO?

WHAT'S NEXT?

THEY'RE GOING TO SERVE A TASTY HOT MEAL ON MY DESK?

APPARENTLY.

OH, F***.

ALL RIGHT, UH, TOP 10 JOKES

THAT N.B.C. WON'T LET US DO.

PETER LIKED IT,

PETER LIKED THAT JOKE.

LAURIE, YOU LIKE THAT JOKE?

YEAH.

UH, MIKE OVITZ IS ON LINE ONE.

ALL RIGHT, FELLOWS. LET'S GO.

I GOT TO TAKE THIS CALL.

GO ON, IT'S ADULT SWIM.

GET OUT OF HERE.

DON'T COME BACK, UH,

UNTIL IT'S FUNNY.

YOU GUYS WANT TO HEAR THIS?

OH, YEAH.

ALL RIGHT,

YOU READY? YEAH.

HIYA, MIKE,

HOW ARE YOU?

DAVE, ONE HOUR AGO BOB WRIGH CONVEYED TO US AN OFFER

for you to host

The Tonight Show.

OH, YES!

( Mike )

Now don't jump to any conclusions.

LET ME LAY ALL THIS OUT.

The deal is

3 years with an option.

THE SALARY RANGE IS

$7 TO $12 MILLION.

NOW HERE'S THE WRINKLE.

The deal does not commence

until May of 1994.

18 months from now.

UH, WH-WH-WHAT'S

ALL THAT ABOUT?

IT'S RATHER TRANSPARENTLY

N.B.C.'S ATTEMP TO KEEP BOTH YOU AND LENO,

AT LEAST FOR A WHILE.

THE MAY DATE,

AS I UNDERSTAND IT,

COINCIDES WITH:

THE END OF LENO'S CONTRAC AS THE HOST OF

THE TONIGHT SHOW.

ALL RIGHT.

BUT I GET THE SHOW?

YES.

I JUST DON'T GET IT NOW?

NO.

I GET IT A... A YEAR FROM MAY?

YES.

AND, UH, THEY DON' FORCE JAY OUT, RIGHT?

NO, UNLESS HE QUITS,

WHICH I ASSUME THAT HE MIGHT.

Maybe that's what

they want him to do.

JAY'S GOING TO QUIT?

NOT A CHANCE.

NOT A CHANCE.

JESUS, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

LET ME POINT OU A FEW MORE THINGS.

C.B.S. IS OFFERING

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