The Leisure Seeker Page #5

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I opened their bedroom door

and you won't believe what they were doing.

She was on the bed

and he was, he was kneeling in front of her.

I can't even say it.

- Dad was muff diving?

Cuddling in the canyon?

- Cuddling...

I wanted to vomit.

- Why?

I hope it happens to me when I'm their age.

- God, what a thought.

But I kind of doubt it.

Well, years with Philip and me, it's

been a quick kiss and... goodnight.

Houston, we have a problem.

Well, just pull over. We can wait.

Hemingway ain't going anywhere.

Make America Great Again

I want to see.

- What's to see? You know what this is.

Gonna have a look.

Don't go far.

This land is our land.

No more muslims. Band them out.

Build up a wall, build up a wall...

John, come with me.

- But this is so much fun.

I know, I know. But you need to come

with me now. We get a parking ticket.

Hi, everyone.

Make America Great Again.

You voted Democrat your whole life.

You volunteered for Walter Mondale.

Don't you remember how mad you got when I said

I was gonna vote for Reagan?

Reagan?

You don't remember who he is?

- Yes, I do.

No, no, that's not true.

You haven't a slightest idea. Who am I?

What's my name?

Come on John.

You know my name really well, what is it?

It starts with El...

Lillian.

Lillian is the next door

neighbor, I'm your wife.

El...

Ella. My god.

Ella, darling,

it's my stupid empty head.

I'm so sorry.

That's you behind under that beard.

It is.

That there is Jim. Gosh.

How's Jim these days?

John, Jim passed on.

Really?

- Don't you remember?

We went to visit him in that human warehouse?

He didn't recognize us.

Wow, that's terrible.

Poor Jim.

Promise me something.

- What?

You love me, promise me...

That when the time comes with me...

To put me in one of those places...

And it's gonna be sooner that later, you know

that, I'm getting worse and worse everyday.

Promise me that you put

the shotgun in my hand...

Shhh, no don't.

- Listen to me sweetheart.

Put the shotgun in my hand...

Put my thumb...

In the trigger.

And then explain to me so that I understand...

This is exactly what I want to do...

I told you to do it.

Then kiss me.

Kiss, kiss me twice.

And then walk away.

It's like mud season in Massachusetts:

Messy, but necessary.

Just don't do it in the living room, OK?

Gosh, damn it.

What have you done? Put it back in.

I can't find the plug.

What, what's that?

- What?

I heard a noise, what is that?

It's unlikely it's an alligator.

- An alligator?

Let's get the gun?

- No, no, no, let's just go inside.

I think I hurt my back.

John, John, you have to get over here

to help me get up.

Give me your shoulder.

- Shoulders, what do you mean?

Get off, get off me. You are crushing me.

Honey I think I hurt my arm.

- So what, get off.

Get off me.

Are you alright?

What are we doing on the ground?

- You don't remember?

I fell down and you fell on top of me.

- Sh*t.

John, I can't do it.

Get up, get over here and help me.

I can't believe it.

Hey, are you crazy?

What are you trying to do, stone me to death?

What are you doing?

- Well, your shoes have come off.

Thank you.

After all that you've done for me,

this is nothing.

Look at you, you're all dirty.

John, what's the big rush?

I could have done with a little more sleep.

My god.

- It's the moment of truth, Ella.

For heaven's sake, what's this?

- Take me to him. Now.

To who?

- 'To whom

to Dan. To Daniel Coleman.

I need to look him, straight in the eyes.

For god's sake.

I'm not gonna wait for some snowy night

for you to finally confess everything...

As you look out the window at the snow

'falling thankfully to the universe'.

I'm so sick and tired of this nonsense.

He was always there for you, Dan.

I've only ever been second best.

How dare you point a gun at me?

Take me to him.

You wanna see Dan? Fine.

Fine.

What are you doing?

- I'm going to find out where Dan Coleman is.

Even if he's in he's grave,

and I'm gonna take you to him.

You will? Really?

Susan?

You'll never guess who this is.

You can't go in there with a gun.

- I'm going in as I see fit.

Fine, fine. A hundred cops are probably show up

and kill us both.

But fine. That's what you want.

That's what you'll get.

May I help you? - Yes, we'd like to see

Daniel Coleman please. Daniel Coleman?

- I believe he's a resident here?

Are you on the list?

We're just old friends, we're just passin' by.

Wait one moment.

- You are very kind.

John, she said to wait.

Is that you, Coleman?

- Who?

Daniel Coleman.

- Who?

I, I'm so sorry, I think we got the wrong room.

So sorry to disturb you.

Daniel Coleman? Do you know him?

Witch room is his? Who?

Finally, we find you.

I've always wanted to see your face,

Dan Coleman.

It's alright, it's alright, it's not loaded.

- It isn't?

But I'm not Dan.

Where is Daniel Coleman?

Hello, Dan.

That's him?

It's me.

- Me?

Ella. Ella Carson.

I don't know you. Two strange white folks

walking into my room?

This is my husband, John Spencer.

Nice to meet you.

- I don't care.

John Spencer. - It makes no difference

who he is. Just get out of here.

Do you wear boxers?

What? Do you wear boxers or briefs?

- And this is what you wanna know?

I want to understand where this

fixation with boxers comes from.

Fine, fine. Ask away.

Do you wear boxers or briefs?

I wear diapers, white boy,

and now get out of here.

Ella what?

- You really don't remember me?

I don't wanna remember you.

I don't know you. Just get the hell out of here.

Shoot that son of a b*tch, John.

But it's not loaded.

- My god, gun.

He doesn't remember my wife.

- Is everybody OK?

It's alright, it's

alright, it's not loaded.

You got to go.

- He's an english teacher, he's not dangerous.

It's fine. - But sir, you gonna

have to go, you gonna have to go.

Just be grateful we didn't call the police.

- We are, we're very

grateful. Thank you so much.

You've been very understanding.

We were thinking that

perhaps the two of you

might need a little rest.

No offense attended.

This contains a list of

all insurances we accept.

We call your children to

come to the facility.

Thank you, that's very kind.

- And the next time you guys

wanna come visit your friend,

do it without a gun...

Even if it's empty.

Yes,, yes of course, thank you, goodbye.

But are you sure you're guys are traveling

on your own? It's nice here. Ask Dan.

Why are you so sad?

I'm just a little tired.

I'm also angry.

At you, mostly.

But also at Dan.

Dan? Dan who?

For Christ sake.

Ha ha, I know who Dan is, I was just joking.

Dan is the fella who

isn't in Savannah anymore.

He was black. I mean he is black.

He was a little more charismatic at the time.

My Ella.

John, can we sleep in a real bed tonight?

Now once we get in the event,

there will be security there.

So in addition to your

ticket, everyone take a

moment to make sure you

got a photo ID with you.

We're still missing a couple of people...

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