The Lesser Blessed

---

Fort Simmer,

Northwest Territories.

Been here

since my accident.

Not much to do if you're not

into booze or sports.

...man, f*** the West 40,

it's sh*t, man...

Passing through Alberta,

I know this place

Oh, yeah?

Right on!

Yeah, but we need

a ride.

Well, we can borrow

my aunt's car.

It's just going to break down

before we leave the town...

Hey, shut up!

Just yesterday I took it

down to the dump

at 120 clicks...

Know what, man?

I think I'm just gonna go.

Don't be cheap.

Stay...

F*** you... I'm learning!

Okay? I'm learning...

Yo, what up!

How you doin', man?

Where you been, man?

Werewolf Larry, is that you?

Larry!

Are you gonna fight me this time?

Or you gonna run away like a little b*tch?

Don't let me catch you watching us, animal!

Or I'll skin you!

Juliet Hope

has the eyes of an angel...

She could suck a man dry

with those eyes...

After the nuclear war

when we all turn cannibal

and start

to eat one another...

She won't be involved.

Her mouth would not

eat dead things.

My mother's tearduct was

destroyed by my father

years ago and it stopped

working forever.

We have a new face

with us today - Johnny Beck.

You look familiar,

Mr. Beck.

Yeah, Mr Harrister.

I'm that guy who passed out on your lawn.

So, the model that we have...

...supply and demand.

...Around the mid-1800's.

The beavery trade... prevalent.

F***, man...

Economics can only exist

when we create scarcity...

Darcy McManus...

He has a chunky ass

and a moose cock.

We both grew up in the same hell hole

across from my lake.

He's had it in for me

ever since he moved here.

He holds my secrets

under his fingernails.

Mr. Beck...

I'm listening...

Is there any way I can accomodate you

in making this a more enjoyable experience.

As a matter of fact,

Mr. Harrister,

yes, there is.

Ah, and what might that be?

Well...

We get to stare at this ugly blackboard,

and you get to face the sun.

I want a piece of that.

I say, we rearrange

our arrangement of these desks,

and switch our bodies the other

way, so we can face the sun.

You'd get some sunshine,

warming up your backside,

everybody will be happy.

Even you, Mr. Harrister.

So, who's with me, class?

What do you think?

Come on, Mr. H...

It's a good idea.

It really is...

Get out!!!

You're a tough man, babyfingers.

...we poked

a hole in it,

so the water would come out slowly,

people were like,

what the f***...

Yo, man, my name's Sammy,

but my boys call me

Mustache Sammy.

Been growing this f***er since

I went swimming nut to nut.

Know what I'm sayin'?

Most guys

love French class

because of Mademoiselle's

Simone's French titties.

They're so perky.

But I have

my own reasons.

It's coming from upstairs.

Mr. Harrister's class.

Jonny.

Hey...

Do you know who sits here?

No.

Oh...

Okay...

What's up, f*ggot?

I seen your mom passed out in a ditch.

F***ed her for fifteen bucks.

You like burning sh*t, buddy?

That's some original sh*t, Darby.

It's Darcy, a**hole.

Mr. Beck...

Darcy, give me

some room...

Detention.

Tomorrow morning,

8:
15am.

Eight-fifteen!

What tribe are you?

Chip?

Cree?

Dogrib.

Dogrib, huh?

This guy Jed, told me that our tribe

came from this woman that

gave birth to six puppies.

That's really something.

You comin'?

Hey, that Mr. Harrister,

what a Leonard.

Leonard who?

Not a who, a what.

You mean babyfingers?

Yeah.

The f***'s a leonard?

Uh...

A monge...

a face-melt.

You know, a stick.

What?

An a**hole.

Oh...

You sure are daring, man.

You're only beautiful once.

Holy sh*t!

Damn ravens.

Can you give me a hand?

Yeah, I think I'm gonna be a leonard

and, uh, get the hell home.

Suit yourself, man.

Hey, uh, you should come over later.

Connibear Park, third floor.

Bring some food.

Sol later.

Later.

My mom had cut her hair

since the last time Jed split

and it hadn't grown back

to its original length.

My dad would have called her

dizzy sh*t for doing that.

Is Jed coming in soon?

I think something happened out hunting...

He sounded kind of shook up.

Thought he'd be here by now.

Said he wants to take

you hunting when school's out.

Yeah... I've heard

that before.

Edanat'e.

What?

That means how are you.

Oh...

Don't panic, I made bannock.

Wow.

Yourself?

Yeah.

That's really cool,

that's cool...

I just gotta finish up in here.

Did you already butter that stuff?

Yeah. Do you have

raspberry jam?

Naw, we're kinda strapped

until my mom can get some cash.

Things are pretty

horror-show right now.

Not too dry?

No, it's just right.

So... you live

with your mom?

I hate this place already.

Can't wait to leave.

Gonna live with my dad.

He's trying to get a job in Yellowknife,

If he gets it, he's gonna come get us.

Right, Donny?

F***, yeah.

What about you?

Were you born here?

Nah.

I came here three years ago.

Your old man around?

No.

You got hair on your nuts, or what?

Donny...

Sorry, 'bout that, Lare.

It's all right.

Nothing personal, Lare,

but you should probably

take off before my mom gets here.

All right...

Later.

See you later, chief.

Sol.

Hey...

Larry?

That was your desk with

the roses on it, right?

In Mr. Harrister's class?

Yeah...

Okay.

I pray you get

your skull crushed.

Bleed for a day, Darcy.

Just bleed for a day.

WHACK!

Back to classes!

Everyone!

SLAM!

Some things

in life are inevitable.

So, he ran to the sink...

How's Donny doing?

He's reading porno mags now.

Found her stash yesterday.

Was hoping the guy'd be a kid

a little longer, you know?

So, why did you leave Hay River?

No one left to f***.

So...

Juliet Hope.

She's somethin'.

What's wrong?

Did you know...

that if you lay down...

and listen to your tummy...

you can hear all sorts

of machinery down there.

No sh*t.

And if you lay and listen long enough...

your a**hole will start to itch.

Why's that?

That's your tapeworm peeking out.

Don't make fun

of him...

At night, my tapeworm

comes out and we play.

Larry Sole...

You're the most interesting

thing in this sh*t town.

He'll do whatever you

want all day tomorrow.

Ten dollars, let's go!

He's not that...

He's all right.

Nine bucks!

Nine bucks, there we go!

Love it!

Going once,

going twice, sold...

Okay, this is a slave auction,

ladies and gentlemen.

Raising money for the final dance.

You gotta do better, or it's just going

to be me and Clarence

D.J-ing again.

Our next item up for bid has

raised a lot of eyebrows

since coming from his

last school, Hay River...

Let's give a nice, warm

welcome to Mr. Jonny Beck!

Let's start this!

Ten dollars, where is it?

Where do I hear it?

Twelve dollars, who's got that?

Bam, right there.

Twelve dollars!

Come on, let's keep going!

Love it, love it!

Twenty? Forty?

Fifty!

Fifty!

Seventy-five!

My boy's got seventy-five!

Let's keep going now!

Eighty!

Ooooh...

Ninety-five!

Man, where do you get

all this money from?

Don't you owe me

like twenty... Anyway...

A hundred.

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