The Levelling Page #2

Frankly, the only stupid thing

he's done is burying them.

He should have burned

the bloody things.

If they'd had t.B.,

we'd be buggered!

The police say it was suicide.

Accidental death.

You don't accidentally

put a gun in your mouth.

You weren't here.

James was, and he agrees.

But he didn't mean

to shoot himself.

I'd just given him the farm,

for god's sake.

Did he say anything to you?

About what, the bloody badgers?

He was a grown-up.

Before he shot himself.

He was drunk!

Heh.

Your first letter

from boarding school.

You wrote it to Sandy,

because you were cross with me.

Sandy?

The dog Sandy?

The one you shot.

"Please tell daddy that

I have to eat corned beef here,

"and it's not beef at all.

"It's bloody freezing here,

and my socks

all have holes in them."

Heh.

I hated boarding school.

No, you didn't.

Harry hated boarding school.

He never went.

He got to stay here.

He did.

He went for a term...

Cried the whole time.

Came back home to the farmyard

happy as a pig in sh*t.

You loved it there.

"Give mummy a big lick from me,

and tell her

I'll be home soon."

The riding, too.

You were pony mad.

Kept me busy, didn't it?

Hmm?

Nothing.

When did you leave the army?

Uh, my father got ill.

My mother was dead.

Your mother

wanted to have children,

so we came back to the farm.

They're good places

for children, farms.

What about you?

Didn't you want children?

Of course I did.

Only if they were like you.

Well, I got that,

didn't I? Bloody hell.

I never knew

what made my mother so angry

until I heard you

telling me how to run my farm.

Heh. You were impossible.

Never met such a born farmer.

So you gave the farm to Harry?

You left.

You told me to go.

No, I didn't.

Yeah, you did. I was 18.

You told me to get

the hell out of here,

and then nothing. Heh.

No phone call. No apology.

You were being

bloody impossible.

I was 18.

Exactly.

You weren't in charge.

It was my farm.

You expected my respect?

Yes, I bloody

expected your respect.

- I was your father.

- You were the man

who left me at boarding school

when my mother died.

Didn't bring me home

for her funeral.

What's that got to do with it?

That was years before.

So it didn't matter?

Was it better

to forget about it?

My mother?

Yes, clover, yes.

That's how it works.

You have to forget about it

and then move on.

And change the subject

every time she's mentioned?

You have to get up,

get out of bed,

and milk the bloody cows.

You sure this thing's up here?

I shouldn't think so

for a minute.

Should we go, then?

Hi. Mr. Jones?

It's clover.

Hi. Uh...

I'm ok. Uh, it's fine.

Um, I just, uh...

I've just found

some badgers on the farm.

Dead ones, shot.

Um, I just wondered if...

I know. I know. I just, um...

I need them off the farm. I...

Could you ask animal health

if they...

No, no... not the police.

Um, please.

You'll be my best friend.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Right.

Clover.

It's me, Helen.

Helen.

How are you doing?

I'm so sorry, my love.

How are you?

Did you do all this?

Oh, well, it was a big occasion,

Harry finally getting the farm.

Lovely for everyone, really,

after the year we've had.

Were you here?

No.

No, I'd gone to bed by then.

Bit late for me.

This is for you and your dad.

Shepherd's pie.

Stew. Easy stuff.

Don't worry

about the Tupperware.

I'll get that back whenever.

Ok.

Do you need

anything else, my love?

I'm all set.

Helen.

Thanks for calling me.

Aubrey wouldn't have thought to.

He asked me to ring you.

You're never far

from his thoughts.

Thank you.

Look who I found.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I thought

he could do with some grub.

Been working

like a packhorse out there.

I just need the loo.

Oh. Light a match,

will you?

I saw Helen.

She gave us some food.

Did she? Oh, good.

I'm starving. What have we got?

Um, Shepherd's pie

and stuff, I think.

Ah. Want a drink?

Want a drink, James?

It's a bit early for me.

Oh, come on.

We've got, um...

Shepherd's pie.

Shepherd's pie.

Oh, come on, Harry.

Don't be such a girl.

You be mum.

Mmm.

Where's yours?

I don't eat meat, Aubrey.

This isn't meat.

This is Shepherd's pie.

You can just eat the potato.

There you go.

Just eat the potato.

It's cooked

with the meat, though, isn't it?

Vegetables scream.

Do you know that?

They do. They scream blue murder

when they're being chopped down.

That's not true.

Bloody is.

You know that, don't you?

I heard they swear, too.

- In French.

- Oh, mon dieu.

That's what leeks say.

"Mm.

Oh, my roots."

Ha ha ha. Like some cheap whore.

Oh, look out. There you go.

She's eaten some.

Call the papers.

It's just potato.

Heh.

Look at that smile.

One in a million.

Did you know

Harry killed the badgers?

Yes.

How?

Did he tell you?

Did you catch him?

I helped him shoot them.

Why?

He asked.

Are you gonna tell the police?

What happened at the party,

James?

How did he end up

in that bathroom?

Why did you never

come home after the floods?

Well, we talked about it,

but Harry told me not to.

He said he was fine,

he could manage.

He knew he could ask me anytime.

You know they're broke,

don't you?

The house is a wreck.

Their insurance f***ed up.

The land is still full of glass

and all kinds of sh*t

from the floods.

What about all of you, then?

How are they paying all of you?

They can't be that broke.

No one's paying us.

No one's paid us for months.

Well, it'll be fine.

We're selling stock.

Perfect, so you can

sweep in and take over now.

You get everything

you always wanted.

What?

Did Harry say that?

I gotta go.

So shall we start

by choosing the readings?

Shall I get my Bible?

No, I came prepared.

Clover, would you like

to do a reading?

Sure. Fine.

Is there anything

particular you want to express?

Any part of Harry's life

you want to honor or...

Anything that

you're struggling with?

Not sure. Heh.

Um...

Don't know what I want to say.

What would you have said

about him last week?

Last week, he wasn't dead,

and I can't unknown

these things about him.

That's the person

you're going to miss, isn't it,

the one from last week?

But that person's gone.

And I don't know

if he ever really existed.

That person

would never have done this...

Would never have killed himself.

When people

commit suicide unexpectedly,

it's natural to want

to make sense of their actions,

but you're also trying to work

out your place in that story,

so maybe what

you're struggling with

is... is about you, not him.

Guilt is incredibly common

for survivors of suicides.

I'm not feeling guilt.

I wasn't even here.

Come, Milo!

Milo, come!

Come on.

Good boy.

Milo?

Ah, god.

Oh, sh*t.

Aubrey.

Hi. I've got lunch.

What was that petrol

doing in the kitchen?

The place stinks.

What? What petrol?

Did you have to run a generator

in there or something?

How is the river?

Wet.

We need to talk

about the funeral.

About what?

Are we gonna have people

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