The Libertine Page #8

MAURICE:

But we always listen to French music.

Maurice turns on SERGE GAINSBOURG.

NINA:

Mmmm.

Nina stands and starts to sway.

MAURICE:

I think eating is done.

Maurice grabs all the plates, whether they're done or not.

Ken is left holding his fork.

MAURICE (CONT'D)

Nina, why don't you come make drinkswith me?

Maurice and Nina exit.

KEN:

Do you mind if I look around therest of your apartment?

EDITH:

Yes.

KITCHEN:

Maurice carries stacked plates into the kitchen as Ninafollows.

MAURICE:

Gin and Tonic?

NINA:

Hit me.

54.

Maurice makes two drinks. Nina comes flirtatiously close.

NINA (CONT'D)

Is that why you brought me in here?

To watch you make drinks?

MAURICE:

You're the most entertaining personin the apartment.

NINA:

I heard about you.

MAURICE:

And what did you hear?

NINA:

Things.

MAURICE:

What are you doing?

NINA:

What do you want me to do?

MAURICE:

Your husband's in the other room.

NINA:

He won't be later.

Maurice puts his arm around her waist.

MAURICE:

You could come back in a few hours.

NINA:

I need a favor.

MAURICE:

Does it involve nibbling your rump?

NINA:

I need you to make a call for Ken.

Maurice lets go instantly. Nina tries to keep it flirtatious.

NINA (CONT'D)

You know people in Washington,

probably in Albany. You could getthe charges dropped.

MAURICE:

It's not the best time for me to be

granting favors.

55.

NINA:

You could do it through back roomphone calls. I know how these thingswork. I'd be very grateful.

Maurice marches out of the kitchen. Nina sighs and follows.

LIVING ROOM:

Maurice, followed by Nina, sits as though ready to pounce.

MAURICE:

Don't you think it's odd that I hadto endure that humiliating perp walkas he got snuck in the side of thecourthouse?

EDITH:

Maurice, do we have to?

MAURICE:

I just think it's an odd imbalancewhen he's being accused of stealingand I'm accused of lust.

KEN:

Insider trading is not exactlystealing.

EDITH:

And sexual assault is not exactlylust.

MAURICE:

But I'm not on trial for sexual

assault. I mean, I am, legally, butthose charges will be thrown out asspurious. The real accusations come

in digging around my past behaviorand discovering that, surprisesurprise, I've had a sex life.

EDITH:

We don't want to hear about your sexlife.

KEN:

I wouldn't mind.

MAURICE:

What you do makes me sick.

KEN:

What happened to both being innocent?

56.

MAURICE:

The case is irrelevant. You're guiltybecause the entire banking industryis guilty.

KEN:

Now I'm the banking industry?

MAURICE:

It's an abomination that makes moneyout of money.

KEN:

You're a hundred times as rich as we

are.

MAURICE:

But our money comes from makingsomething.

EDITH:

Actually, love, your money comesfrom marriage.

MAURICE:

But the origin of our fortune isbooks.

EDITH:

The origin of my fortune.

KEN:

Which she inherited.

MAURICE:

But the origin of her family moneyis tangible objects that add valueto the world.

NINA:

Ken, let's go.

KEN:

No, this is about to get good.

MAURICE:

You should listen to your hussy wife.

NINA:

Maurice!

MAURICE:

And next time you want a favor, offeryour own body.

57.

EDITH:

She did what?

KEN:

You offered to f*** him?

NINA:

What was I supposed to do? It's a

hail mary.

KEN:

And he said no?

MAURICE:

It's in my vocabulary.

NINA:

Come on.

KEN:

Still, clever.

EDITH:

You're not mad?

KEN:

Mad? You've never had to fight foranything.

EDITH:

I have fought harder than anyone inyour generation can conceive of.

KEN:

Okay, moneybags. You're still goingto try and get my charges dropped.

Whether you want to or not.

MAURICE:

You should take your wife's adviceand go.

KEN:

I don't think so. Sitting therewith your passive income and classderision. And by the way, we'reupper class!

EDITH:

Lower upper class.

KEN:

Too bad I have this!

Ken shows Maurice a photo on his phone.

KEN (CONT'D)

That's a bottle of Viagra with yourname on it. And this is a bottle of

Propecia, and this is grime buildup,

and in the other bathroom I found a

dildo. Do what I want, or these gostraight to the press.

MAURICE:

Wow, Edith, I think he got us.

EDITH:

No choice but to play ball.

Nina tries to pull Ken toward the door.

KEN:

(to Maurice)

I win?

MAURICE:

Sure. I'll put a call in to thesecret society of back room deals.

KEN:

You think this is a joke? A call to

the governor will be fine.

NINA:

Ken, they're not going to help us.

Your plan is retarded.

MAURICE:

Actually, I will help you. Not

because you're blackmailing me withshit I don't care about, but becauseyou showed moxy.

EDITH:

Really?

KEN:

Really?

NINA:

They're lying.

MAURICE:

(to Edith)

It's what Mr. Absolon would have

wanted.

EDITH:

Karma for all of Mr. Absolon's favors.

58.

59.

KEN:

Who's Mr. Absolon?

EDITH:

An old friend we use as a moral

compass.

MAURICE:

And he would have said that, eventhough you're a leach on the economy,

we should show you some charity.

KEN:

We don't have to argue anymore.

MAURICE:

Even though you're a pustule ofunsound logic and selfish thinking.

KEN:

I can still walk out.

EDITH:

You should do that. We're not goingto make any phone calls.

KEN:

But you just said you would.

MAURICE:

Already?

EDITH:

It's too easy. Mr. Absolon is a

code word we use at parties. It

means play along as I lie through myteeth.

MAURICE:

As though there were anywhere elseto lie through.

EDITH:

You've found a few.

KEN:

You know what? I don't need anythingfrom you. No one hands anything to

me.

EDITH:

I'll call for you.

KEN:

You will?

60.

NINA:

See you downstairs.

Nina leaves.

MAURICE:

(to Edith)

Won over by all his clever fishingfor dirt?

EDITH:

Absolutely. Asking if you'd hitrock bottom, that's some virtuosicpolitical maneuvering.

KEN:

You couldn't tell I was looking formaterial to blackmail with?

EDITH:

No, asking me to complain aboutMaurice is subtle.

MAURICE:

Honestly, honey, you didn't reallyguess it until he pulled out thephone.

EDITH:

And it's embarrassing, but who expectsthe clown machiavelli?

KEN:

So, you'll call tomorrow?

EDITH:

Probably not.

KEN:

Monday?

EDITH:

Maybe never.

KEN:

I'm confused.

MAURICE:

You're going to jail.

Ken struggles for words then storms out.

MAURICE (CONT'D)

You have a vibrator?

61.

EDITH:

I can't believe he wasn't upset whenhis wife's propositioned you.

MAURICE:

We showed them.

EDITH:

Sure did.

Edith finishes her drink and head for her bedroom.

MAURICE:

I'm not a bad man.

Edith stops.

EDITH:

I know.

MAURICE:

I can be a good husband and father.

EDITH:

That ship is sailed.

MAURICE:

What if it isn't? What if I gethelp?

EDITH:

Help for what?

MAURICE:

I have a problem. It's medical.

EDITH:

That's convenient logic.

MAURICE:

So, take the convenient logic andlet it give us another chance.

EDITH:

You don't deserve one.

MAURICE:

This thing with the maid? You know

I didn't do that.

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