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The Lionshare
- Year:
- 2009
- 65 min
- 25 Views
Eva.. So. Nick.. Hi. Eva.. Hi. Eva.. Can l really ty it? Nick.. Yeah, of course. No l was lying. Eva.. That's kind of weird. Eva.. Oh my god that's so good. Nick.. Can l ty that? Eva.. Yeah, of course. Eva.. It's definitely not bad; it's pretty light and nice but it doesn't compare to that. Nick.. Yeah, no. Eva.. That's like so full. Nick.. l win. Yeah. It's so delicious. Frankenhousen. Eva.. Nick -- one. Nick.. Yeah. Nick -- one. Eva.. Eva -- zero. Nick.. Eva -- zero. Nick.. Is this like the first time you've done this? This internet dating thing? This is like the first time l've done this, so... Eva.. Yeah. l just had one. l like met a guy at a bar for drinks. That was it. Nick.. That's it? There's...? Eva.. It was kind of awful actually. Nick.. Oh, it was awful, okay now we're getting somewhere. What happened? Eva.. Well, you know, nothing, but like, l was there early. l just got there early, whatever. Eva.. And l was waiting for him and he was like 20 minutes late. Nick.. That always sucks. Eva.. Then he shows up and he's wearing a popped collar and l was like, ''Done with you. Next.'' Nick.. That's... yeah... totally. l mean if you would have been wearing a pop collar l would have been out of here, also. Eva.. But, yeah, that's the extent of my internet dating...dating. Eva.. You're a filmmaker, yes? Sory, l was tying to remember your profile. Nick.. l ty to make films. Basically, l have been working on this one thing for like two years Nick.. and l'm like totally stuck with it though so l am all like stressed and cranky about it. Eva.. What's it about? You so don't want to talk about it. Nick.. Aside from that, much less stressful project l'm working on is this music video for my friend's band. Eva.. Cool. Nick.. Yeah. Nick.. Okay. Here's my stock question.. What kind of music do you like? Nick.. What? Eva.. That is so lame. That's lamer than... Nick.. You just asked me what l do. Eva.. You made fun of me for ''what do you do.'' How is... so lame. Nick.. l didn't make fun of you that much. Eva.. Eva, wherever l am. Two? Do l have two? Nick.. One. Eva.. One? Whatever, l get a point for that. Nick.. Whatever. Eva.. Anyway... l could start listing bands but you're not going to know any of them. Nick.. What? How do you know that? Nick.. l might know more about bands thank you've like... Eva.. It's just a hard way to answer a question. It's a stupid question. Nick.. Okay... Nick.. What's the last thing you listened to? Eva.. Ohhh...okay...have you ever heard of this band 'applecury'? Nick.. Yeah, totally. Eva.. Really? Nick.. No, l totally haven't. Eva.. Oh my god l would have been so excited, they're so good. Nick.. Sory. Eva.. So applecury... Eva.....you just broke my hearrt. l was like ''Oh my god he's heard of them.'' Nick.. No but now there's this opporrtunity for you to share that with someone. Eva.. Absolutely. They're like a...what do you call it... Eva.. Actually, are you on The Lionshare? Or have you heard of it? Nick.. The Lionshare? No, l'm not on it and l haven't heard of it; both those things. Eva.. Well it's like a bit torrent site, you download like movies and music and stuff. Nick.. Yeah, l know what you're talking about. Eva.. You have to be invited though. So if you give me your e-mail l could invite you. Nick.. Oh, that's tricky. l don't know if l want to do that. Eva.. Why? Nick.. l don't know if we're at that level yet. Where l could just give you my e-mail. Eva.. Fine. Nick.. l'm kidding... Eva.. Then you'll never hear about applecury again. Nick.. Nick, my name. O, as in the letter. Eva.. Got it. Nick.. And rette, like nick-o-rette, like the gum. R-E-T-T-E. Eva.. Why the gum? Nick.. l don't know, l like gum. Eva.. So, l'm going to going to send you my last invite Eva.. and you have to download applecury. Nick.. l will. l will, why wouldn't l do that? That's why l was like ''Oh l want to check that out.'' Eva.. Well, what if you forget who they are? Nick.. Okay. Eva.. applecury is the name of the band. Sory does that hurrt? Nick.. No, it tickles a little bit. Is there anything else you want to put down there? Eva.. Favorite color? Nick.. Yeah, l mean, just write your whole profile so l can look at it whenever l want. Nick.. Okay, cool. Eva.. Awesome. Nick.. Thanks. Eva.. So, how long have you known you wanted to be a filmmaker? Eva.. l'm just curious because like l still don't know what l want to do. Nick.. Totally yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nick.. l don't know, ummm... Nick.. We had my dad's big clunky VHS camera. Like it was bigger than us. l feel like evey family had these. Eva.. Yeah we totally did. Nick.. And we decided to re-make Ghostbusters. Eva.. Cool. Nick.. Yeah, it was totally awesome. Nick.. It was weird because all my friends were really into the whole pretending and Nick.. being in the movie thing but l like really enjoyed being behind the camera. Eva.. Uh-huh. Nick.. And that was something l knew l liked more than what they were doing so l always ended up being there. Eva.. That's so awesome. Nick.. l guess. l mean, yeah. Eva.....l've never seen Ghostbusters. Nick.. What? Really? Eva.. Yeah. l mean, like, there's plenty of things l haven't seen but l've not seen Ghostbusters. Nick.. And Ghostbusters is one of them? Nick.. All right. That...l can't...all right. That needs to be rectified immediately. Like now. Eva.. l think l'd rather see your version of Ghostbusters. Nick.. This is -- this is -- this is way bigger than just me. Eva.. It was a carrtoon though too, right? Nick.. Yeah it was a carrtoon, but you haven't seen the movie? Nick.. We need to watch Ghostbusters right now. Like, for real. l don't know. Eva.. There is a Blockbuster on the way to my house. Nick.. Is there? Eva.. Just throwing it out there. Nick.. They might in fact have a copy of Ghostbusters that we could then watch at your house. Nick.. And...they don't have it. Eva.. Seriously? Nick.. Seriously. Eva.. Where are you even looking? Nick.. They have it, but... Eva.. Ohhh and it was the Collector's Series too. Should we ask? Maybe they have it like in the back. Nick.. Yeah. Eva.. Do they have a back or... Nick.. l mean, they might have it in the front. Nick.. l don't know maybe they have it at like... l don't know. Nick.. l would buy it. l would buy another copyjust for this occasion. Nick.. But l don't see anywhere in sight... Eva.. l don't know where you could. Nick.....that would actually sell DVDs. Nick.. l don't know. What do you think? Eva.. Lionshare... Nick.. Lie and share?...all right. Eva.. It's all one word, right? Ghostbusters. Nick.. It's not going to matter in the search field. Eva.. Awesome. It's downloading. Eva.. It'll probably take about an hour, maybe two hours... Nick.. Cool. What? Eva.. Do you want a drink? l have beer. Nick.. What is this? Eva.. It's my favorite little opener. See? Nick.. l can't. l can't handle that. Eva.. Cheers. Nick.. Cheers. Eva.. To...Ghostbusters. Nick.. Yeah, to Ghostbusters downloading. Eva.. To finally seeing it. Nick.. And to me seeing it for like the millionth time. Eva.. It's a pretty good job though. It's like super chill, l can wear whatever l want. l can like just hang out. It's a good job. Nick.. That's cool. Do you have a title? Eva.. Record Label Do-Stuff girl. That would be my title, l think. Nick.. That's a pretty awesome title. Eva.. You win. Nick.. Yep. Eva.. That's embarrassing. Eva.. Do you want another? Nick.. Uh, yeah. Sure. Eva.. Oh, you're not actually done. l could have won. Nick.. Too late now. That's a pretty satisfying sound. Nick.. Your hair's all like... Eva.. Is it messed up? It does that. It's fine. Thank you. Eva.. It's cool. Theyjust fell over. Nick.. l can't look. l'm not going to move again. Eva.. No, it's okay. Nick.. Are you sure? Eva.. Yeah it's fine. Nick.. l'm sory. Nick.. Do you want me to leave? Eva.. Out of here. Get out of here. Nick.. Alright. Eva.. l've had enough. It's about time. Yeah, it's almost time. For Ghostbusters. Eva.. It should be. It's almost time. Nick.. l can just feel you watching me. Eva.. Do you feel like there's a lot of pressure? Nick.. Yeah, totally. So much pressure. Eva.. Ready? Nick.. It just locks? Eva.. Yeah. Nick.. Umm. Eva.. l'm just going to go get a cab because l'm really late... Eva.....but the subway's that way. Nick.. Okay, cool. Eva.. Yeah. Nick.. Hey listen, l had a lot of fun last night. Eva.. Yeah, me too. Nick.. Cool. What are you doing this weekend? Eva.. l don't know yet. A friend of mine is coming in from out of town. l don't know what is going on with that. Eva.. But l can let you know if you wanted to like get together or something. Nick.. Yeah, yeah. Cool. That's great. Eva.. Yeah. l gotta go. Nick.. Oh and definitely send me that invite to that thing, l want to check out applecury. Eva.. Right. Definitely. l'll like chat with you online probably. Nick.. Okay, yeah. Totally. Nick.. Later. Matty.. Maybe he's just over-worked, you know? Bracey.. How long does it take to get from the f***ing front door to right here? Bracey.. [singing] Oh...l...just got laid last night. l...just got laid...last night...l just got Iaid last night. Bracey.. [singing] Oh l just got laid...my name's Nick. Matty.. Hey. Nick.. Oh man...hey. Bracey.. How'd it go buddy? Nick.. All right man...what have you guys been waiting all night to do that? Matty.. Basically. Bracey.. [singing] All night long... Matty.. [singing] All night... Nick.. [singing] All night... Matty.. So, did you f***ing put it in her butt? Nick.. Yeah, man. That was like the first thing we did. We just took it from there, you know? Bracey.. l sense sarcasm. Matty.. All right. Well, you going to see her again? Nick.. l don't know. Hopefully. Bracey.. Work with us here. Work with us. Come on. Matty.. Yeah, seriously man. l mean is there something you want to tell us? Nick.. Give me a second guys. Geez. Matty.. Come on man. We've been camped out here all night. Bracey.. All night long. Nick.. You guys know what happened, man. l said it was a good night, all right? Matty.. Look at that face. He wants to tell us but he really can't. Bracey.. All right fine, fine, you don't want to say anyything, that's cool. Matty.. l can deal. l can deal. Bracey.. You've changed. He's changed. Matty.. You know, l'm just a friend who's concerned about my friend getting action but if you don't want to tell me Matty.. anyything, that's cool by me. l'm over here with my little Nintendo, my internets. Matty.. l'll be fine. l'll occupy myself. Bracey.. That's the song. Nick.. The demo? Bracey.. It's the second track, yeah. Nick.. All right, awesome. Matty.. Oh yeah. Is that the one you're going to make the video for? Nick.. Yeah, hopefully. If you still want me to do it. Bracey.. l do want you to do it, yeah, totally. l just want you to, you know, listen to it first. Nick.. l'll listen to it, l'll ty to get some ideas, you know. Matty.. It is the beginning of bear mating SeaSOn. Matty.. What? Matty.. No, l mean bears, they're starrting to mate now. Matty.. What? It's a bear fact. Bracey.. Bear fact? What are you in? Third grade? What is that? A bear fact... Matty.. There's a direct correlation between bears and Nick. Nick.. What website are you looking at?? Matty.. This is my world. Bracey.. You gotta get off that bestiality kick man, that's really nasty. Matty.. That's gross. Nick.. It's too much. Matty.. Look, l'm just saying there is a direct correlation between the bears and you and us... Matty.....it's hunting season man. It's potent, it's in the air. You just gotta reach out and grab it, you know? Bracey.. What are you guys doing tomorrow? Tomorrow night, specifically. Matty.. l think l might see the new James Bond movie with my dad. It's a hearrtwarming experience, l know. Bracey No, sounds good. l'm going to be playing at Stain if you're free, Nick. Nick.. l think l might actually end up seeing that girl again, hopefully. Bracey.. l mean, that's awesome. And if you're looking for something to do you can bring her Bracey.. and tell her to bring some of that hot honey with her. Bracey.. Bear fact, sh*t. Nick.. l don't know. l'm kinda reluctant about that idea. l think it's pretty terrible, Bracey. Bracey.. Why? Nick.. What if she doesn't have any friends, she'll just end up going home with Nick.. you or some other stubbly, scruffy , guitar-playing... Bracey.. You always do this. No. When has this ever happened? Why... Nick.. This always happens. Matty.. It's true, man. A guitar is like nature's p*ssy magnet. Nick.. Bear fact. Matty.. It's a bear f***ing fact. Nick.. Equals. Bracey.. Yeah, alright. Maybe l'll see you tomorrow. Bracey.. Matty, have fun with your pops. Matty.. Uh-huh. Nick.. Later man. Bracey.. All right, later guys. Nick.. Later. Bracey.. [muffled] God damn door. You're gonna have to fix this sh*t... Matty.. No, what was that about anywa,y? Yeah l know. Dad? l said it was fine okay? Matty.. We can probably just catch another showing another time, okay? l don't know even if it's still playing. Matty.. Well there's a show coming up that my friend's... no, you don't know him. Dad, you don't know him. Matty.. His name's Bracey, he's in a band and he's playing a show and he really wants me to go so... Matty.. l don't know. Nothing really unusual. Matty.. She seemed fine. Matty.. Yeah well l mean what did you expect? Matty.. Dad? Dad? l am fine, okay. l mean, l got paid last week. Matty.. Alright well when l go to the show how about you just give me a call that day Matty.. and then maybe we can see if we can, you know, find another time to go Matty.. see it or just give me a call. We'll see what happens, okay? Matty.. All right. l love you too. Bye. Matty.. Oh no. Oh god what have l starrted? Nick.. Yeah. We got to put a stop to that as soon as possible. Matty.. Yeah, right in its bear tracks. Voice.. Drive 1.5 miles then keep left on l-278. Matty.. Okay. Thank you. Nick.. Yeah we're gonna be late. Matty.. We're gonna be late. Nick.. No doubt about it. Nick.. We're going to walk in and Bracey's just gonna be like uhhh-AAHHHH-uhhhhh Nick.. ''Thank you eveybody. That was our Iast song.'' Matty.. That's happened to me once. He didn't care though. Nick.. l thought of calling what's her face but l didn't. l was like, yeah... Voice.. Please drive to highlighted route. Nick.. It's too soon. Matty.. Do you watch Project Runway? Nick.. Not really, no. Why? Matty.. Well, the girl l have a massive crush on... Nick.. Yeah. Matty.....is the winner. So, that kind of perked up my day a little bit. Nick.. Did you celebrate her victoy with Jane? Matty.. Oh, yeah. Actually Jane was the one that got me on to the show. Nick.. Got you... oh so you were a contestant? Matty.. No yeah, you don't remember when l was a contestant on the show? Nick.. Yeah, can't believe l didn't remember that. Matty.. Well, you know those situations where you have a girlfriend and they have a TV show they have to watch? Matty.. l basically watch whatever she watches and she watches Project Runway. So l starrted watching Project Wunway. Matty.. Project WUNway. Project RUN...way. Matty.. l starrted watching Project RUNway. Matty.. But yeah, she has all these shows she needs to watch so l watch them. Matty.. l mean it's like, l have no shows l need to watch. Nick.. l'm like the complete opposite of that. l'm even worse than her l need to watch Nick.. pretty much everything. Not necessarily Project Runway, but you know what l mean. Matty.. Yeah it's true, l mean, l did get into Lost because of you. Nick.. Yeah. Matty.. That's what happens to me, l get into shows because of other people. Nick.. Yeah, l don't know...these are always things that l just discover on my OWn. Nick.. Yeah. l'm like, l was looking at that thing over there. Matty.. With the giant George Washington? Nick.. Yeah, the...cyborg. Matty.. Sent back from the future. To give us democracy. Nick.. Yeah. Matty.. That's funny. Bracey.. Hey eveybody. my name's Bracey. It's like Tracey with a B. Bracey.. All right, l'm gonna play this song l haven't really named yet... Bracey.. l kinda just wrote it last week. Nick.. Yo. Girl.. What's up. Matty.. Hey chica. Girl.. l like your shirrt; l like yourjacket. Nick.. Thank you. Matty.. Thank you. Matty.. We put our powers combined... Matty.....we'll be a totally suave looking dude. Girl.. Totally would. Lose the shoes though. Matty.. Whoa. Girl.. Just kidding. Matty.. l was admiring this picture before. l thought the guy was throwing up blood Matty.. but apparently it's fire. But if you go over here it looks like it's dripping blood. Girl.. Oh... Matty.. l wonder who goes about that. Is it sorrt of like some guy who owns the place Matty.. has his friends decorate it or is it just people do it and then... Girl.. So l recently starrted Netti-Potting... Matty.. l think you're too caught up in the content, you know? Matty.. l mean like eveybody that people think did totally original stuff was just ripping on someone else. You know? Nick.. That's true. Matty.. l mean Kurrt Cobain said when he made ''Smells Like Teen Spirit'' Matty.. He was basically tying to make a really good Pixies song. Nick.. Right, yeah. Totally. l never heard that but l can see that. Nick.. l'm sure like when The Pixies were making their songs they were like Nick.. ''Oh let's make a really great Talking Heads song.'' Matty.. They had that flyer out for their bassist and it was like someone that has Matty.. the influences of Peter Paul & May and Husker Du. And that's how the bassist joined the band. Nick.. The Pixies? Matty.. Yeah. Nick.. That's crazy. Isn't the bassist the girl? Matty.. Uh-huh. Kim Deal. Nick.. That's crazy. Bracey.. l don't know a Marty pUppy what's a Marrty-puppy? Bracey.. What are you talking about? Marrty-puppy... l'll make a song called ''Marrty Puppy''... Bracey.. This sounds like a dog song. Matty.. You ever think about just walking away from it? Take a break? Nick.. What am l doing if l take a break from it? l don't have anyything else that l go back to when l am not doing this. Nick.. Like, this is my break. So if l take a break from this... Bracey.. [singing]...and l'll never see puppy again. Matty.. l told you, you should stop buying these shitty lighters and get like a f***ing Zippo, you know? Matty.. Light it off your boot and sh*t. Nick.. l might as well get a f***ing match. Matty.. Get the ladies and sh*t, you know. Nick.. Ah, f*** it. [Loud POP] Matty.. Terrorist! You're a terrorist! Nick.. Did that thing just explode? Matty.. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, it did. Matty.. That's f***ed up. What if that like popped in your pocket? Nick.. God damn it l hate my arrtistic life, crunch. It ignites my whole pants. Bracey.. Thank you. Thank you. Tough crowd. Matty.. l don't know. Something came up and we just didn't go. l don't know what. Yeah l know. Well, it's imporrtant to me too. l mean if it was so imporrtant to him... Matty.. Yeah. Matty.. Yeah, l know, mom. l know. Matty.. Okay. Mom? l have to go work so would it be okay if l just called you back Iater? All right. Yeah. No, it's all right. No, l'm sory. Okay. Matty.. Love you too. Bye-bye. Matty.. Sh*t. Matty.. Yo ass-f***. You up? Matty.. Hey. Nice pajamas. Nick.. F***. Matty.. So you going to get up? Nick.. F*** no. Matty.. Okay. You know it's a nice day; it's Nick.. Yeah. So f***ing what? Matty.. Touche, touche. Matty.. l'm going to go to work. l'll catch you later. Jane.. Thyme? No. Matty.. [singing] Anyytime now... Jane.. Here. Matty.. Thank you. Jane.. It's as hot as it goes. Matty.. It's as hot as it goes, huh? Matty.. My dad called me recently. Jane.. Oh, yeah? Jane.. How did that go? Matty.. He wanted to go see, you know the new Bond movie? But... Matty.....he kind of blew me off the first time. So, when he wanted to go see it again, l blew him off and l kind of feel like a dick about it. Jane.. Why? Matty.. l don't know. l mean, it's kind of like this old tradition -- l can't find the thing, by the way, for this. l'm looking for my thing. Jane.. This is your house. Jane.. You're not...well, you are a dick, but you're not being a dick right now. Matty.. You sure? Jane.. Yes. You're not a dick. Matty.. Thanks. Jane.. You're welcome. Matty.. You should put a little more. Jane.. No, l put enough. l kept in mind your spicy thing. Matty.. Just a little bit more. Jane.. l have this going on over here. Matty.. That's fine. Jane.. You could even put it away. Matty.. Okay. Ohh. Jane.. Oh my god, you're such an a**hole. Matty.. What, l like it. Jane.. Do you want to cook the food? Matty.. Yeah, yeah l do actually. Jane.. Okay, yeah. Well, you can't. Jane.. And besides...it makes your cum taste awful. Matty.....what? Jane.. l said it makes your cum taste awful, so... Matty.....my cum tastes awful? Jane.. It's the spices, it's not...your cum tastes lovely usually, but not with this. Matty.. Well, l know what not to expect tonight. Matty.. We're starrting to have an odd relationship... Jane.. You just dug your own grave. Matty.. My f***ing cum tastes funny? Matty.. l'm gonna take a sh*t and l'm going to think about this. Jane.. That's great. Nick.. There we go. Jane.. Yeah, l mean, l'm just here for the weekend, like, l have class on Monday. So l'm going back to the grind. Nick.. Oh, that sucks. Jane.. Yeah. l mean, it's okay. It's nice to be back in school again doing.... Nick.....something? Jane.. Yeah, eXactly. Nick.. Totally, like l wish l was back in school again cause l don't feel like l'm doing anyything. Jane.. Yeah. l mean, it gives you -- it definitely gives you a sense of purpose. Nick.. Right. That's what you're paying for. Jane.. Yeah, eXactly. My thousands of dollars... Jane.. But yeah like, l have to pay like over $700 in textbooks. Jane.. Where -- l don't have $700 for textbooks. Nick.. Right. Because you already gave them like thousands of dollars... Jane.. Right, l already gave them my soul, l signed that away. Nick.. Yeah, right. Jane.. It didn't cover textbooks though. Nick.. That's ridiculous, you're already paying them to like, spend that time to give you all that information. Jane.. l know, it's like... Nick.. The education, that's what you're paying for. Jane.. Right, eXactly, it's like, give me the f***ing books, Jane.....you owe me that, and then l will Iearn. Nick.. Yeah. Jane.. Yeah, it's really backwards. Nick.. It's ass-backwards. Jane.. It is ass-backwards. But l don't like to think about that on the weekends. This is my relaxing time. This is Jane time. Nick.. This is Jane time, okay. Jane.. Yes. This is my Jane time. Nick.. Cool. l guess we're all just a parrt of Jane time right now. Jane.. Yes. All of you. Nick.. Yeah. All two of us. Jane.. Yeah. Jane.. Matt was telling me about this thing that you're doing with Bracey, the video thing...? Nick.. Oh, l was like, ''l'm doing something? What am l doing?'' Jane.. l heard. You know, l got the signal. Nick.. Yeah, totally. The Matt signal. l get those all the time. Jane.. Right, yeah. Nick.. He's like, ''l have this song that l want to put out on YouTube and MySpace and stuff just to get more stuff out there...'' Nick.. and so he was like, ''Oh, you know, if you could video...'' So l was like, ''All right, yeah, sure. Of course.'' Jane.. That's cool. Nick.. Yeah l guess, l haven't really like worked on it all. Like l have like no ideas for it whatsoever, but... Jane.. l mean, l'm sure you're gonna think of something. Nick.. Hopefully. Jane.. Like, l've always thought your stuff was really awesome. Nick.. Oh, well thanks. Sure. Jane.. Yeah no like when we were in school l was always really really impressed. Nick.. Okay, yeah, sure. l -- l'm like, ''Oh, great,'' l can't like... Jane.. l mean, you know that though. You know that. Nick.. You know... l don't know. You know how it is, like, with me. l'm just like, ''Ahhh l don't know.'' Matty.. Food's ready kids. Nick.. What the f***? Jane.. Too much. Too much. Too much. Nick.. Dude, what the f*** did you do? Jane.. [coughing] Oh my god... Matty.. Water's not going to help you. Jane.. Oh my god well then what am l supposed to do? Jane.. What...? Nick.. What are you doing? Jane.. What are you doing? Matty.. Milk's a base, this stuff'll like cut all the acidic sh*t out... Nick.. That is so nasty. Matty.. It's not that bad. Jane.. Okay, you know what? Bear fact.. you're retarded. Nick.. You too now? With the f***ing bear fact. Jane.. He was saying it, and now he's got me saying it. l just... yeah. Nick.. l did not think that one was gonna Iast. Jane.. What is this on? Matty.. What do you mean? Jane.. Like is this on TV or...? Matty.. It's on Nick's computer actually. Jane.. Seriously? Jane.. Nick's computer hooks up to the TV? Matty.. Yeah. Nick's the man. With the plan. Jane.. So cool. Jane.. Are you going to draw me my carrtoon soon? Matty.. Yeah. It's just a work progress, you know? It's going to take some time. Jane.. Some time? You do that sh*t all the time. Matty.. Yeah, well, l mean, it's usuallyjust stupid sh*t, l can't just will it out of nowhere... Matty.....when it's something imporrtant, you know? For you it would be imporrtant. Jane.. l'm skeptical. Jane.. Are you mad at me? Matty.. A little bit. Jane.. Why? Matty.. You said my cum tastes funny. Jane.. Bear fact. Matty.. F*** you. Bear f***ing fact... Nick.. You guys really got to stop with that or l'm going to kill myself. Jane.. Aww. ''You guys have to stop doing that before l kill myself.'' Matty.. F*** this. We're gonna do a blind taste test. Nick, l want you to beat off into a cup and we'll do a Pepsi challenge. See what she says. Nick.. Uhh, l kind of already did that, so... l was waiting for you to ask. Matty.. Oh, really? Nick.. Yeah. l mean it's been here for awhile though... Nick.....so, you probably have a bit of an advantage; yours is probably a little bit more fresh. Matty.. Let's f***ing do this right now. Jane.. You guys are so f***ing gross. That's disgusting. Matty.. We've been roommates for a long time, it's only been a matter of time. Jane.. l don't even know what that means. Matty.. It means-- Nick.. --we've been doing these taste tests for a long time. Matty.. That's eXactly what it means. Jane.. That was the one thing l was hoping it didn't mean. Jane.. Hey. What are you doing out here? Nick.. Uhh, l didn't really want to, you know, smoke in the aparrtment while you were there. Jane.. Really? Nick.. Yeah. Jane.. That's so sweet. Nick.. Yeah, l guess. l don't know. Yeah, that's me. Jane.. That is you. Jane.. Can you, like, drink out here? Is that okay or is it like public consumption or something? Nick.. What? What do you mean? Jane.. l don't know, that sounds stupid, l don't know. Like, can you do that? Jane.. What was that? Nick.. l just got dive-bombed by a moth or something. Jane.. Monster? Nick.. Actually that looks like a monster bee. Nick.. It's night-time, you're not supposed to be here. Nick.. Oh my god it's right there. Jane.. Oh jesus. Nick.. All right hold on. Jane.. This is really not giving you points in the masculinity deparrtment right now. Jane.. Don't step on it! Nick.. Oh, no. l'd rather have it like stab me. Jane.. l'm going to go get my drink, l'll be right back. Nick.. Sure. Jane.. Okay. Nick.. That was quick. Jane.. That's much better. Nick.. Sure. Jane.. Are my teeth stained? Nick.. Yeah a little bit. Jane.. Really? Nick.. Just a little bit, what. l wasn't gonna be like ''No.'' Jane.. Ugh. Nick.. It's fine. Jane.. All right, whatever. Nick.. You're losing teeth points. Jane.. Oh yeah, all right. Fair enough. Jane.. Maybe just one drag? Nick.. You can do what you want. Jane.. l can, l can. Nick.. l'm not responsible if he catches you of course. Jane.. Yeah. Jane.. That was nice. Nick.. Yeah okay cool. Jane.. So umm...tell me about this internet girl. Nick.. Umm. There's really sadly nothing to tell, unforrtunately. Jane.. So...is that why you're so down? Because she hasn't called you? Nick.. l'm not down, really. Jane.. Come on. Nick.. All right, maybe l'm a little down, l guess. Jane.. Do you think l could maybe have...a cigarette? Nick.. Really? Nick.. Here you go. Jane.. Thank you. Nick.. One of my lighters exploded the other day. Like seriously. Jane.. That happens? Nick.. Yeah, apparently. It just... Jane.. Oh my god. Jane.. Thank you. Nick.. Sure. Jane.. So wait, you didn't explain it to me... Nick.. What? Jane.. Why are you so down? l don't... l still don't really understand. It's about the girl, it's not about the girl... Nick.. It's not, ugh, it...l'm like creatively- constipated like all the time. Jane.. Ugh. Okay, disgusting. Nick.. What, constipated? Jane.. Yes. You know l don't like toilet humor or language or... Nick.. You're f***ing weird. Jane.. Okay, you know what? Jane.. You're f***ing weird. Nick.. l am, l know. Jane.. Yeah but you know it's just like... Jane.....l know that things will be fine, eventually. So if things are going to be fine Iater... Jane.....they should be fine now. Nick.. Mmm-hmm. Jane.. Fine later, fine now. Nick.. You get that from somewhere or something? What is that? Jane.. Umm, l don't know, maybe. Nick.. Yeah l do feel better. Jane.. Good. Nick.. Cool. Nick.. Are you going to your dad's soon? Matty.. Yeah. Nick.. You going to be back for Lost? Matty.. Is it a new one? Nick.. Yeah, it's the new season. Matty.. F***. Can you set the DVR? Nick.. It's already set. You just set it once and it remembers. Matty.. l'm not going to make it in time... Matty.. We're going out for my dad's birrthday dinner, so. Nick.. It's your dad's birrthday? Matty.. On Friday, but l mean we are just celebrating tonight. Nick.. Oh, perfect. Matty.. What is this? Nick.. It's a screener copy of auantum of Solace. Matty.. You serious? Nick.. Yeah totally, like they give it to the critics, so it's kind of like a bootleg... Nick.. but it's not like shaky-camcorder type, it's like a real DVD. Matty.. Dude, thanks. No, l mean seriously like this means a lot. Matty.. My dad's going to love this. l mean, like, l owe you. Nick.. Great, man. Yeah. Don't wory about it. Matty.. l mean if you want to like have sex with my girlfriend or something, go ahead. Nick.. Well l mean how do you know do you know l already haven't? Matty.. Good point, good point. Matty You sure the DVR is set? Nick.. It's definitely set; don't wory. Matty.. It is? Nick.. It's good. We'll watch it. Nick.. We'll watch it. Matty.. Cool. Today's a good day. Nick.. Yeah man. Male.. Motherfuck. When l get back. Nick.. l'll take care of that. Nick.. Later. [from TV] Male.. Stop it, you know what l want to hear. [from TV] Male.. No l don't. [from TV] Male.. You played it for her, you can play it for me. Nick.. Hey Bracey, it's Nick, what's going on man? Nick.. You still want me to do that video right? Nick.. Okay, cool man, l got a bunch of ideas for it, it turns out, so. Nick.. Yeah, yeah, no l did. Why? What's up? Nick.. Well, l mean...why does anybody put music on the internet? So people can hear it. Nick.. Ummm...you were selling it at the show, so...you were already disseminating it to random people Nick.. so it didn't even cross my mind that... How is that different? Nick.. Oh, well... dude, l mean, it sounded pretty damn good to me. l had no idea that you -- that it wasn't a finished product. Nick.. Yeah, l guess l'll talk to you later man. Later. Nick.. Hey, Eva, it's Nick. It's twenty-to- five on Thursday and l was just wondering if you were doing anyything tonight... Nick.. cause my friend's band, which l told you about, is playing at this place... Nick.....and of course you're all into new music and sh*t so l thought you might like to come along. Nick.. Umm, l guess, if you get this before this evening give me a call back and maybe we can get something together. Nick.. All right. Hope to hear from you soon. Bye. Matty.. It didn't f***ing record? Nick.. It's not my fault, l set it. l did eveyrything l was supposed to do. You know, technology. It does what it wants. Matty.. F***ing Time Warner. Nick.. Yep. No, well actually we don't have Time Warner. It's not that. Matty.. Well, f***ing SkyNet, f***ing Cablevision, l don't f***ing know... Nick.. l don't know, l think it may be the show is just so awesome the DVR couldn't handle it. Matty.. The show is just so awesome? Matty.. l mean what little piece of technology knew l wasn't going to be home Matty.. so it sabotaged itself so l couldn't watch the show? Matty.. It's the principle of the matter, man, it's the f***ing principle. Matty.. This is why we should not have thrown out our f***ing VCR. Matty.. l don't need quality. l just want to know what happened. Nick.. You don't need quality? You don't prefer quality? Matty.. Ah, it's a TV show. It's a TV show. Nick.. Well l mean, l was going to get it off the Internet you know with great quality and no commercials Nick.. but if you're not into that sorrt of thing... Matty.. Well l mean if you're going to do it, then by all means do it, l'm just saying Matty.. when you need your fix, it doesn't matter the grade, you just take it. Nick.. Right. You'll take what you can get, yeah. Matty.. F***. Nick.. F***. Matty.. F***. Did you watch it? Nick.. l watched it, yeah. Matty.. Okay. Was it good? Nick.. It was-- Matty.. You know what, don't even -- don't even tell me. Don't tell me anyything. Nick.. All right, but l just have to say this one thing -- Matty.. Don't don't don't...don't tell me anyything. l don't want to know. Nick.. All right. Nick.....it was awesome. Nick.. How was the movie? Matty.. Didn't watch it but l did give it to him and he was actually really happy about that. Nick.. Good. Matty.. l think it made his night. Nick.. Excellent. Matty.. Thank you. Nick.. No problem....what the f*** is this? Matty.. What the f*** is what? Nick.. On the radio. F***ing... applecury. l don't believe this. Matty.. Oh. Who's applecury? Nick.. It's that band l was listening to that one time where you were like Nick.. ''Oh, who is this?'' and l was like ''Oh it's applecury, they're so great.'' Nick.. l can't f***ing believe this. You know what, l don't even listen to the radio. Matty.. Yeah l was about to ask you about that, why are we listening to the radio? Nick.. l don't know. l don't have my iPod with me, l don't know what l did with it. Nick.. It's under something, somewhere. Matty.. F***ing machines, man. Nick.. F***ing machines, yeah. It's hiding from me. l f***ing hate this song, man. Matty.. It's not that bad. Nick.. No, they always take the worst song on the album and make it the single. l will never understand that. Matty.. l mean, l'll just tell people that you heard them first Matty.. and you're wicked underground, and that will garner you a lot of scene points. Nick.. All right, great. Nick.. Just make sure you don't show them this song. Matty.. l won't. Matty.. Did you find it yet? Nick.. Uhh, not yet. One sec. Matty.. All right. Nick.. It's not working. Matty.. What do you mean it's not working? Nick.. l mean it's being weird. It's not working. Matty.. Sh*t. Nick.. Don't wory, l'll get it for you. Matty.. This is f***ed. This is bear f***ed. Nick.. It'll be all right. Bracey.. Thank you vey much. Bracey.. l haven't played this one live yet so l hope you enjoy it. Bracey.. l kind of worked on it from something that happened with my friends Nick and Matty...don't wory about it. Bracey.. Give it up for Domi,nick back there on the drums Bracey.. my man Dan who's picking up the bass... Bracey.. and...l'm Bracey, thanks for eveybody coming out tonight. Thank you. Bracey.. Hey guys. Nick.. Yo, what's going on man? Matty.. Good f***ing crowd tonight. Bracey.. Yeah l know, l think it's like the biggest crowd we've had yet. Bracey.. It's pretty crazy. Some crazy sh*t is going down. It's insanity. Nick.. What happened? Bracey.. Well, you know how you put my demo online? Nick.. Yeah, l remember. Bracey.. Yeah, well, umm... somebody from a label, they downloaded it. Long stoy shorrt, l think l'm getting signed. Matty.. Dude, holy sh*t. Nick.. Are you f***ing kidding me? Bracey.. Yeah it's really crazy...l mean, and like, you know, well -- Nick.. Yeah dude, don't wory about. Obviously it all worked out, so. Nick.. Yeah it's fine. Bracey.. l told them that we shot a video and they want to see it, so we've got to get working on that. Matty.. Congratu-f***ing-lations man. Bracey.. Yeah, thanks a lot man. Nick.. Yeah, man. Bracey.. l'm freaking out, l'm freaking out. Clearly l'm freaking out. Matty.. Man, l mean, just go with it. Bracey.. And l met a girl dude. l met a girl. Nick.. Really? Bracey.. She's awesome. Matty.. Bear f***ing mating season. Nick.. They have a long mating season. Bracey.. She must have downloaded some of our music online, l don't really know... Bracey.. but she ended up coming to one of our shows and we were talking afterward... Eva.. l just got offered psychic reading. Bracey.. Matty. Nick. Eva. Eva.. Hi, nice to meet you. Nick.. Hey. Eva.. Hi. Bracey.. So, this is what l'm thinking. Go to your place, my place, a bar, so we can talk. Nick.. We should totally go to a bar. Matty.. l'm actually kind of hungy -- Nick.. Yeah, or go to a diner or something. That would be great. Bracey.. Cool. Eva.. l mean l was just going to go home anyways, so... Nick.. No, you really don't have to, come on, there's no need for that. Eva.. l mean l really did fun with you -- Nick.. Yeah. Eva.. l didn't know he was your friend, or else -- Nick.. No, it's -- don't wory about it. Look, it's not like, you know, we were in a serious relationship or anyything. Nick.. l mean it was only that one night. Of course l did have a lot of fun that night too, but... Eva.. Right. Nick.. Well, yeah. Nick.. Have you heard the new applecury? Eva.. No. l haven't been into them much. Ever since they got like really big and like played on the radio and stuff. Nick.. Yeah no l heard them on the radio. Eva.. l think l heard them on an Apple commercial the other day. Nick.. An Apple commercial? Oh yeah it's for that new iPod that like...probably sucks your dick or something. Nick.. Those things can do eveyrything. Eva.. Blow dy your hair with it. Nick.. Blow dy your hair...cheese grater... Nick.....snow shoes... Matty.. Evey time l ty to get out, they pull me back in. Fredo! Fredo! Eva.. What is that from? Matty.. It's from The Godfathers. It's one of those moving pictures. You know, like that sexy one. Bracey.. Two seniors for Sarica Jessica Parker's ''Sexy Town'' please. Matty.. l work at a movie theater, and you ever notice when old people come in Matty.. theyjust never remember the title of the movie they want to see? Eva.. Mm-hmm. Matty.. Well, l've kind of whittled it down to a couple of basic rules. Matty.. First off, if the word ''the'' is in front of a title, theyjust totally omit it. Or they add it if it isn't there. Matty.. They also do this thing where they pluralize and de-pluralize movies. Matty.. So ''Transformers'' ends up becoming like Matty.. ''Five seniors for 'The Transformer'.'' You know? ''And a pickle.'' Bracey.. ''l Transform.'' Matty.. ''l Transform.'' Matty.. This woman come in once and she was like ''Give me three seniors for 'Failure to Launch'.'' Matty.. And there's no movie even close to that title on the marquee. Matty.. Oh, l f***ed it up. Nick.. You said 'Failure to Launch'... Nick.....and that's what it was. Matty.. It was 'Failure to Launch'. Matty.. Yeah. She asked for 'Full Throttle', l'm sory. But she was like Matty.. ''Yeah give me one for 'Full Throttle'.'' So she went from 'Failure to Launch' to 'Full Throttle' somehow. Matty.. l don't know how. Eva.. They both have to do with, like, flying. Bracey.. Throttling....you like throttling. Matty.. Dude. Matty.. All right, so give me a title, l'll give you an eXample. Name a movie. Eva.. Okay, umm... Eva.....Ghostbusters. Bracey.. Two seniors for... 'The Great Ghost Bust'. Eva.. That's breaking the rules. You're not following the rules. Matty.. Once you know the rules you can do whatever you want, you know? Matty.. It's like jazz. You have a foundation and you just keep going from there. Bracey.. You feel your way through it. Eva.. That's awesome. They totally do that. Matty.. Yeah it's true. Eva.. It's like -- what's that thing you say? It's like a total -- it's like a polar bear fact. Bracey.. That's cute. Nick.. Shut up. Nick.. It's Bear Fact. Eva.. Bear fact. Nick.. Yeah. Nick.. You can't have that joke; that's my joke. It's not yours. Bracey.. All right... Matty.. l think that was myjoke anyway. Bracey.. l kind of thought it was a communal thing. Matty.. Hey baby boy. Matty.. Coffee's up if you want it. Nick.. Thanks. Matty.. l see you had a long night last night. Nick.. Yeah, it was pretty long. Matty.. Yeah. What'd you think of Bracey's new girlfriend? Nick.. She's nice. Matty.. Yeah. Slammin' body. Matty.. Hey did you happen to download Lost? Matty.. You're my man with the hook-ups SOn. Nick.. F***. Matty.. What? Matty.. This site has been closed for... F***. That sucks. Nick.. Yeah...you just knew it was going to end this way though. Matty.. Well, come on man, we'll make our own. We'll call it The Bear Share. Nick.. Bear's don't share. Matty.. Sure they do. Nick.. No they don't. They don't share. Matty.. Yes they do...all right, well what do they do? Lions share... Nick.. They mate. Bears mate. Matty.. Bears mate? Okay... Nick.. l'm not a bear anymore. Matty.. You're always a bear, man. Matty.. Well let's see, lions share, bear...facts. We got tiger...beats? Matty.. Hey. l just wrote you a song.
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"The Lionshare" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 31 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_lionshare_12622>.
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