The Little Death Page #4

- Of course.

- Of course.

- Yeah.

- Hmm, that's weird.

What?

I was putting out the garbage

earlier today

and the bottom of the bag

split open.

- Oh.

- And I found these.

What the f***, R0?

- I must have accidentally...

- Oh, must you?

That's bullshit

because you just told me

that you put up

all the posters.

Yeah, but what I meant was...

- Where's Roxy?

- I don't know.

Don't you?

Why are You lyin9 t0 me?

Why would you hurt me

like that?

I mean, do you not

want to find Roxy?

I did not hurt Roxy!

Who said anything

about you hurting Roxy?

- I didn't mean...

- What did you do to her?

If it was an accident,

just tell me. I'll understand!

- Did you kill her?

- What? No!

I did not kill the dog!

Can we help you?

I'll come back another time.

Just tell me,

what has happened?

Richard, I swear to you.

The last time I saw Roxy,

she was fine.

But there's something,

isn't there?

I know you, R0, I can see it.

There's something wrong

with me.

Um... I wanted to tell you

as soon as I felt it

and I should have but I...

I am sick, Richard.

- I'm so sick.

- Sick?

What do you mean, sick?

Sick, how?

God, I'm so afraid

to tell you.

It's not...

It's not cancer, is it?

- Baby, it's...

- It's not... cancer, is it?

It could be...

a bit of cancer, yeah.

Oh, God...

What does that mean -

'could be'?

Well, the doctor says

that the results are...

They're inconclusive.

Wait, wait, wait,

I'm confused.

It's OK, it's alright.

I've got you.

- Hey, let it out.

- No, no, no. I've got you.

- I'll be strong for you.

- Not too strong. Hey?

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Oh, my God!

Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah!

- Just me!

Will you shut up?

The boys are asleep.

Oh, I know,

I-I'm sorry I'm late.

- I can explain...

- Stop f***ing mumbling, Phil.

'Not too late.' Do you

remember saying that?

Yeah, I do remember

but I wanted to get...

I don't care.

Your dinner's in the fridge.

Want a cuppa?

If I find you sleeping

in this building again,

that's it, you're done.

Oh, will you just stop

mumbling?! I do not...

Oh...

Don't bother, mate.

Strike three.

My office.

Why don't we reschedule?

F***ing what?

Hey, honey bee!

I got a little surprise

for you today!

Hello?

What's with

the silent treatment?

Oh, Evie, talk to me.

Do you remember

what our counsellor said

about communication?

Yes, I remember

what our counsellor said

about communication.

I remember everything

our counsellor said

including the date and time of

the next f***ing appointment.

Did you, Daniel? No.

Don't call me Daniel, Evelyn.

Daniel. Da-niel. Daniel,

Daniel, f***ing Daniel.

Honey bee, honey bee,

I am sorry. I am so sorry.

I'm a shithead,

I completely forgot.

- Won't happen again, alright?

- Yeah, well, better not.

Got a present for you today.

Really?

- It's a video camera.

- It's for our role plays.

I thought we could tape

and watch it back.

- Dan.

- Don't you reckon?

- How much was it?

- Oh, no, it's nothing.

Couple of hundred bucks.

We should really be saving

right now.

No, no, we're fine.

Do you want to try it out?

I have costumes

and I've set up a little

something in the garage.

Let me get the light

and, uh, let me see,

press that there.

Evie, you look amazing.

This is so exciting.

- Uh, you ready?

- Yep.

And... action.

Um...

I hear you've been

misbehaving, prisoner.

Um... I always fall

for the bad boys.

What are you in here for,

stud?

Assault. Sexual assault.

I'll bet

she secretly loved it.

He.

- For f***'s sake, Dan!

- What?

You're trying to turn me on

by telling me

you have sexually assaulted

a man?!

It's called having

a back story, Evie.

- Something's burning.

Oh, sh*t. It's the light. Get

the door! Get the door, Evie!

- I am!

- Bloody thing.

We're fine! We're fine!

Everything's fine!

Close the door, Evie! Close

the door! Close the door!

No! Oh, f***, Evie!

This cost $3,000!

Thank God it's working.

OK, let's go from the top.

- The top of what?

- The scene.

What scene? Dan, do you even

remember why we're doing this?

- For the sex.

- For the marriage.

You're really starting to

scare me. Look at yourself.

Don't even recognise you

anymore.

Babe, babe! Warden! Warden!

Perhaps we can have

a bit of fun before you go.

Hey.

- Where have you been?

- What do you mean? Work.

Well, I called your work

and they said that

you left hours ago.

- So where have you been?

- Just been in the car.

Don't you dare f***ing mumble.

I've been in the car!

Honestly, I've just been

driving around, thinking.

Why weren't you at work?

Maureen, there's been

a bit of a reshuffle at work.

It's nothing I did.

Are you cheating on me, Phil?

What?

$500 on women's clothes.

$70 at The Body Shop.

- Interflora, David Jones...

- Show me that.

F*** you!

We have a joint bank account,

you idiot.

- I can explain.

- Yes. Yes, this time explain.

I can... First of all,

I never did anything...

It's so complicated...

You're not going to

understand.

OK.

Yeah, I've been having

an affair.

It's over and

it will never happen again.

- Who is she?

- Someone from work.

- You don't know her.

- What's her name?

- Does it matter?

- What is she like?

- Don't do this.

- Is she younger than me?

- She's about the same.

- Prettier?

- Again, about the same.

- Is she thinner than me?

You have a lot in common.

She's not younger than me.

She's not skinnier than me.

She's not prettier than me.

Why couldn't it just be me?

Because she's softer than you.

She's quieter than you.

She doesn't yell at me.

She doesn't call me an idiot

or tell me to shut up

all the time.

She listens to me.

She's nice to me.

She doesn't make me feel like

the only thing stopping her

from being happy... is me.

Get out.

- Maureen.

- Get out, Phil.

F*** it. F***.

At the tone,

record your message.

To end, press 'hash'.

PHIL:
Maureen, pick up.

It's not another woman,

it's only ever been you.

I don't want anyone...

Oh, sh*t!

if you are satisfied

with your message, press 1.

To re-record your message,

press 2.

For more options, press 3.

- D'you make a wish?

- Yeah.

Yeah?

Are you gonna tell me

what it is?

No.

If I guess, will you tell me?

- Maybe.

- Maybe?

OK, is it a... car?

- No, it's not a car.

- OK, not a car.

Is it bigger or smaller

than a car'?

- I'm not telling.

- Alright.

Is it bigger or smaller

than... I don't know,

top of my head, say, this?

Oh, my God, if that is car

keys, I'm going to kill you.

- Paul.

- I'm not saying anything.

- No, this is not OK.

- Just open it.

Oh, wow.

- They're really beautiful.

- Yeah?

Yeah.

- Happy birthday.

- Thank you.

- Oh, what?

- No, I'm OK. I'm OK.

- Seriously?

- Yeah, I promise you.

Otherwise, we need to have

a little nap.

A nap? In the car?

While I drive?

Can you spare a dollar, mate?

No, sorry, mate,

we don't have any.

That's right,

you remember it.

Come on, man, just a dollar.

Mate, we honestly don't

have anything. I'm sorry.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes