The Little Giant Page #7

I got tickets for the dog show,

but if you're not feeling well...

...we can all sit here

and have a nice, quiet evening at home.

I'm sorry, but l...

You'll have to excuse me.

[SOBBING]

I was...

What is this all about?

What's the matter?

Why, we've just heard something

rather disturbing.

Something concerning

my family's good name and yourself.

I don't get you.

Uh, Mr. Ahearn...

Did you, um?

Did you happen to read this?

DONALD:
Of course, it's all a mistake

which you can probably explain.

No.

It's true.

What? You don't deny the truth

of that article?

I told you, it's true.

And you had the nerve

to force your affections on my sister?

Worming your way into our affections,

deceiving us about your past...

...so you could marry my daughter.

Of all the disgraceful abuses

of confidence.

DONALD:

It's outrageous.

One of the most disgusting insults

perpetrated on a trusting, innocent girl.

You've broken the poor girl's heart.

Ruined us socially.

Made us the laughingstock

of this community.

My daughter will be ill from the shock.

We shall have to take her abroad

immediately.

Now, look here.

I was gonna tell her about myself

before we got married.

Naturally, Mr. Ahearn,

the engagement is off.

And you are never to come

near our home again.

Nor make any effort

to communicate with us.

Well...

Well, I know how dreadful you feel.

But it's one of the luckiest things

that ever happened to you.

Baby, you sure give me the wrong steer.

All this'd never happen to me if I told her

about myself before we got engaged.

All right, we're a bust out here, so what?

Let's head back to where we belong.

- I can't now.

- The trains are still running.

I bought a business.

I gotta stick around and see

what's gonna happen to that now.

Say that again slow.

You bought a what?

I got over 600 G's

invested in Cass-Winter and Company.

- Oh!

- What's eating you?

That firm, Cass-Winter and Company.

Why, they're thieves, crooks.

- They're what?

- They swindled my father.

Sold him a lot of South American bonds

that were absolutely worthless.

It took every penny he had.

It ruined him.

Killed him.

After he died, there was nothing left except

this house, which I couldn't afford to live in.

Why, Ruth, you mean to tell me

that this house belongs to you?

Of course, ask anybody.

And they took your old man for...

Do you wanna know

all about the Casses?

You wanna know the truth

about that cultured, charming family?

Well, the old man is a drunken swine.

The old lady cheats at cards.

The son is a nitwit who owes money

to everybody who'd listen to him.

Nobody worthwhile around here

will even speak to him anymore.

And Polly,

she's been a sister-in-law to the world.

Why, she's been in one scandal

after another since she was 16 years old.

Yes, and while you were

engaged to her...

...she was running around

with Mr. John Stanley.

We used to call him John when he worked

in my father's stables as a groom.

Why, Ruth, for the love of...

Why didn't you spill all this before?

Oh, I tried to,

several times, but I couldn't.

You were too much in love with her.

Say, you sure about that firm?

They've been on the verge

of bankruptcy for a year.

And you sunk 600 G's.

[LAUGHING]

The toughest mug in Chicago

comes out here...

...and gets trimmed by fags

with handkerchiefs up their sleeves.

Wait till Joe Milano gets a load of that.

One more yelp out of you

and you go right out through the window.

So they take me, huh? I'm a chump, huh?

Well, that's swell.

I'm the guy who buys Brooklyn Bridge,

ever hear of that?

So they're giving me the runaround.

Me, Bugs Ahearn.

Mr. Ahearn, these gentlemen

insisted on seeing you.

What do you want?

Are you Mr. J. Francis Ahearn?

What's the beef?

The district attorney would like to see you

in his office tomorrow, around noon.

- What for?

- Ever hear of Cass-Winter and Company?

Sure, I just bought it.

That's why the DA would like to see you.

Your face looks very familiar. I think

I've seen a picture of you somewhere.

Never mind the stall.

What's this all about?

Rather serious trouble, I'm afraid.

Your firm's flooded the community

with Republic of Santa Rango bonds.

Not worth the paper they're on.

- How can you hold me responsible?

- I don't see why we can't.

I never sold any bonds. I just bought it.

Present records show you

to be the owner and president of the firm.

That makes you responsible.

- So that's the law, huh?

- Exactly.

Hmmph.

Look here, supposing everybody

that lost their dough got paid back.

Now, that would satisfy everybody.

Can I use your phone

for a long-distance call?

Surely. As long as you can pay for it.

I want Chicago.

Central 7808.

[RINGS]

Hello?

Long-distance calling for you, baby.

Yeah, hello.

Say, look here. Get Mike, Tony, Red, Gus,

Hymie, Butch and the other boys.

Shove them into planes

and shoot them out to Santa Barbara, quick.

Well, who do you think this is,

you fathead?

Sure, it's Bugs Ahearn.

- Look here...

- Don't worry.

I'll save your taxpayers the cost of a trial.

And if I don't make good,

you can still have a trial.

Oh, here's for the phone call,

sweetheart.

Hey, what state's California in?

- Texas, you dummy.

- That's right.

BUGS:

It's the same old story.

You take a smart guy,

put him in a racket he ain't wised up to...

...and he's the biggest chump on earth.

I ain't denying that they took me

and they done it good.

I ain't even burned up at them for taking

me. Well, not much burned up anyhow.

Because if ever a guy lead with his chin,

begged somebody to hang one on it, I did.

All I'm saying is that I got in over my head

and it's up to you boys to bail me out.

I don't have to tell you how to operate.

You know what I want, you'll give it to me.

But be kind of careful

about bumping anybody off.

Now, you got all the dough.

Now, don't forget, boys,

I'm depending on you to see me through.

- Okay, when do we cut loose?

- First thing in the morning.

You boys were the best beer salesmen

in the racket...

...now let's see how good you are

at selling bonds.

[CHATTERING]

MAN 1:
Hello, buddy.

MAN 2:
Oh, hi.

INGLEBY:

Gen... What?

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

Could we speak

to Mr. Donald Hadley Cass, please?

The family is leaving for Europe

in a few moments.

Mr. Cass is busy upstairs packing

and cannot be disturbed.

We wouldn't think of disturbing him.

[GRUNTS]

Come on, step on it.

Why, how did you...?

What do you men want here?

Good morning. I'm Mr. Timothy O'Hara.

- Meet Mr. Pulido.

- Hi.

- And Mr. Zamotoskovich.

- Howdy, gobby.

- You must be in the wrong house.

- We ain't.

We're bond salesmen.

You're gonna buy

Republic of Santa Rango bonds.

- Three hundred thousand dollars' worth.

- You get out of here before I call the police.

If I were you, I wouldn't argue.

Mr. Zamotoskovich,

have you the check handy?

Yes, sure.

Here it is.

All made out. Nothing to do but sign.

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