The Lives of a Bengal Lancer Page #2

Your room.

Someone deeded

all this junk

to the South

Kensington Museum?

That junk represents

the personal belongings

of the man you're replacing.

Killed on the border

last month.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, McGregor, did my...

Uh, the Colonel say anything

about what time he'd see me?

No, he didn't. And my guess is

he won't see you till durbar.

Oh.

Don't let that

get you down.

The old- The old man's

a stickler for red tape.

Durbar. Bugles.

And that's an order.

Ramrod.

Durbar.

Oh, a-already?

I'll be right with you.

I want you to help me

to keep them

in good condition.

You keep then shined

and I'II, uh,

keep them dirty.

Durbar.

Whenever you're ready,

sahib.

Thanks,

old ColoniaI.

Durbar, Barrett.

Not today, old boy.

Where to now?

Over the border.

I wish

I'd taken my mother's advice

and joined the church

instead of the Army.

I wish

I had the job.

Does the Colonel think you're

the only one here who talks Pushtu?

Who knows

what the Colonel thinks?

I agree with you there.

Well, good luck.

Thanks, Mac.

Left wheel, turn!

Left wheel, turn!

Good head, eh? Yeah.

How old is she, Major?

Places, men.

Good morning,

gentlemen.

Good morning, sir.

What's this?

An Afridi Ghazi,

Colonel sahib.

Caught in the quarters

of Capt. Norton, with this.

Anything stolen?

He meant to kill

Capt. Norton.

Said Capt. Norton slept

with his feet toward Mecca.

There are trees,

and we have rope.

What have you got to say?

Oh.

Take him

and hang him to a tree,

and then sew the dead body

in the skin of a pig.

Well, that's what will happen

to him if he tries it again.

You tell him that

and let him go.

He doesn't seem to

like pigs.

If that happened, in heaven

he wouldn't get the 48 maidens

allotted by Allah.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Sad.

Capt. Norton.

Yes, sir?

Have you a compass?

Yes, sir.

Change the direction

of your bed.

Yes, sir.

Yes, that's all.

Mr. McGregor.

The two replacements?

Mr. Forsythe,

from the Blues,

Mr. Stone,

from Sandhurst.

From the Blues, eh?

Quite so.

Well, that's

a fashionable regiment.

I am afraid, Mr. Forsythe,

you'll find us different.

We have a reputation

as soldiers,

and we're proud of it.

Mr. Stone.

You've come to us

direct from Sandhurst,

without previous service.

Is that correct?

Yes, sir.

Yes. Well, you've got

a great deal to learn.

And I trust that you,

and you, too,

Mr. Forsythe,

will measure up

to our requirements.

That's all, gentlemen.

Crusty old...

I'm sorry.

Is it over?

Is that all?

That's all.

Lt. Stone.

Yes, sir?

The Colonel forgot something.

I want you

to take this to him.

Yes, sir.

What's so funny?

You are.

So the rough soldier

has a heart of gold.

Never mind,

it comes out in all of us.

It's the mother instinct.

Is this it, sir?

What?

Where did you

get this?

Mr. McGregor ordered me

to give it to you, sir.

What infernal impudence!

No, uh, not you.

Not-not-not you.

How's, uh,

How- H-How's your mother?

Quite well, sir.

Good, good.

She always

hated the army.

I- I don't understand

why she ever let you

go through Sandhurst.

She had to.

I've kept after her about it

ever since I was so high.

Oh? Wanted to be

a soldier, eh?

We've always been soldiers,

for generations.

Yes.

Still, you're not one yet,

you know?

Yes, sir.

Really, you, uh,

you ought not to be here.

Uh, not on the Frontier.

But I am here, sir.

Yes, but, uh,

don't try to take advantage.

Don't expect

any favoritism.

I don't, sir.

I, uh,

I- I-I'm glad to see you,

of course, and I...

I'm sorry that the situation

makes any sort of,

uh, o-of, uh,

social relation impossible.

And I-I, uh...

No, no, wait! W-wait.

Uh, come back a moment.

You see, uh,

this Frontier,

it's not the same

as home service.

No place for a Cub.

A man's got

to be seasoned.

You've got to start

from the bottom.

Learn everything,

and if you don't measure up,

out.

The service

comes first.

Something your mother

never understood.

Yes, sir.

Is that all, sir?

What? Uh, uh, yes.

Y- Yes, that's all.

That's all.

I'm very glad to see...

Poor kid.

I thought

if I got them alone...

But the old man

has ice-water in his veins.

You don't know

the colonel, McGregor.

Neither do you.

Mr. McGregor.

Yes, sir.

As I remarked to one of

my other officers this morning,

there is no place for

sentimentality in the Army.

Neither sentimentality

nor impertinence,

Mr. McGregor.

Stone.

Interesting, the durbar,

isn't it?

I'm sorry

I sent you in there.

I should have known better.

Should have known

how he'd treat you.

What's a son to him,

compared to

his blasted regiment?

Martinet. Ramrod.

That's what he is.

Everybody knows it.

You might as well

get used to it.

That's a lie.

I'm sorry,

I can't keep my mouth shut.

That's my trouble.

Biggest fooI in the Army.

I'm sorry.

That's all-

all right, Mac.

" Sure I love the dear silver

that shines in her hair "

" And the brow

that's all furrowed "

" and wrinkled with care "

" Oh, God bless you

and keep you "

" Mother McGregor "

Now, when a troop wheels

on the move,

what do the troop leaders

look out for?

Mr. Stone,

I asked you a question.

Yes, sir.

Come on, come on, come on.

Come on.

Got it all that time.

All right.

Bedding should be

changed, Mr. Stone.

Yes, I see now,

Risaldar Major.

We don't have these

beastly ticks in England.

Sergeant, have this

horse's shoe attended to.

Come on!

Give him a good walk

while he cools off.

A good man, Forsythe.

Jump!

See the way

he took that jump?

Yes, they teach them

to jump in the Blues.

Yes. Yes, what?

Oh.

Good work, Forsythe.

Thank you, sir.

Mr. McGregor,

you're improperly dressed.

I'm sorry, sir.

That was a nice jump

you made, Mac.

Thanks.

Hello, Stone.

Hello.

Remarkable man,

your father.

Knows a good soldier

when he sees one.

Appreciates neatness, too.

Well,

how about a spot of scotch?

Thanks. I haven't finished

inspection yet.

Ten minutes for their backs

and five for their bellies.

That's the order

of grooming.

Very touching,

the lad's devotion.

Must warm the maternaI

cockles of your heart.

Eh, McGregor?

What about pulling

a few pegs with me, huh?

I'm in favor of it.

Let's go.

Well, uh,

how about 10 Rupees?

Make it 20.

Ready?

Whenever you say.

They should make

those pegs smaller.

Be more sport to it,

huh?

" Oh, he flew

through the air "

" With the greatest

of ease "

" And the daring young man

owes me 20 Rupees "

Have some tea, Stone?

No, thanks.

Call it for first

in the bath.

Heads.

Right.

You fellows bathe

to keep cooI

and I bathe

because I badly need it.

Every time I do this

I remind myself

of my old man.

Whiskers.

He was a crabby old cuss.

Back in Alberta

I had a colt once.

Lot of class and nerve.

You could tell

he was no carthorse

when he was a yearling.

The old man hooked him

to a plow.

Took all the spirit

out of him.

He broke him in,

as he said he would

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