The Long, Long Trailer Page #2

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Come on, honey,

let's look back here. Come on.

Do you see

this wonderful shower, honey?

Could I show you some of the features

of our trailer?

- No, no, we're just looking. Thank you.

- Thank you just the same.

- Did you see the linen closet?

- Yes, fine...

Oh, Nicky. Honey, be careful.

What's that step doing there?

That's a sunken living room.

It's just like a lovely little house.

Oh, Nicky, isn't it wonderful?

You couldn't ask for anything

more than this, could you?

- I'm gonna ask how much it is.

- Now, Tacy.

Just for fun.

Oh, pardon me.

l... I know we couldn't possibly

afford it...

...but could you tell me

the price of this trailer?

Yes. It's $5345.

I was afraid of something like that.

Of course, you wouldn't

have to pay that all at once.

- All you'd have to do is put down a third.

- Thank you very much.

That's $ 1750, isn't it?

- Approximately, yes.

- Thank you.

Did you hear that, Nicky?

Seventeen-fifty. That's $50 less

than the one we can't even stand up in.

It couldn't be 1750. That must be what

you give him for the down payment.

That's what I say, 1750.

Oh, let's get it, Nicky, please.

- What?

- I'll save, I promise.

I won't spend a cent

on anything again as long as I live.

Only I just want to have

this for our home.

Honey, we could do it, couldn't we?

We wouldn't have to pay any rent.

I'll cook all of our meals. Honest I will.

We won't have to go

to any restaurants or hotels.

Honey, there won't be any bellboys

to bother us, no tips.

Well, just think of the money that

we could save on our honeymoon alone.

Ten minutes later, I started saving it.

And $ 160 for state tax...

...and $ 73 for registration, license fee

and payment on the insurance.

That makes a grand total of $ 1932.22.

- And 22 cents?

- That's right.

Ever hauled a house trailer before?

- No, we've never...

- Well, if I were you...

...I'd have a professional

haul it to Colorado.

Oh, no. That's gonna be half the fun.

You're gonna haul it yourself, huh?

Maybe I'd better take a look at your car.

My car?

Better get a heavier car.

Be a big saving in the end.

Let's see. We'll allow you $400

for your old car.

And that plus 900 cash,

makes 1300 as down payment.

Okay?

Look, are you sure that this car

is heavy enough to pull a trailer?

Absolutely.

Of course, you have to have a hitch

welded to the bottom of your car.

A hitch, huh?

How much would that cost?

Oh, we don't do that here.

- You'll have to go to an expert.

- I see. Where am I gonna find an expert?

Excelsior Trailer Repair.

They're the best people in town...

We now had a new car, a new trailer...

...and mortgages of $ 7646.

We don't just weld the hitch to your car,

we bolt it on in three places:

The forward member,

the rear member, under your bumper.

Hey, Joe, here... Here it is.

Bring it over here.

You're getting the best hitch

on the market today.

This is the ball. It engages securely

to the socket in the slip dolly...

...which prevents a lot of...

- Just a minute. Slip dolly?

Oh, sure, sure. Come here. Here.

Here it is. Come over here.

Now, this is the B6 four-wheel model.

It's $ 170 extra plus tax, but it's worth

it. It takes the weight of the trailer...

Wait a minute.

Do I have to have one of these things?

Cripes! Why, you can't afford

to be without that.

It was a question of

who 'd give out first:

Me or the money.

Block and tackle, just in case.

- In case of what?

- Just in case.

That'll be fine, now.

The little lady said she wanted the car

dropped off at her house.

- That's right.

- Sometimes you don't know what to do...

...with these things.

Try to figure them out...

Oh, no. You drive.

- Who, me?

- Sure, sure. Move over.

Nothing to it.

Now, these are your trailer brakes.

The most important thing

to remember is...

...when you stop, put your

trailer brakes on, or you'll jackknife.

- Jackknife?

- Yeah. You know, trailer and car like this:

Saw it happen on a hill over here.

The trailer tipped over, took the car

down the canyon after it.

So, remember, trailer brakes first.

Trailer brakes first.

These are your blinker lights.

When you're gonna turn left

and turn right.

There's your stop light.

Put your blinker lights on.

Left. Right. Trailer brakes. Car brakes.

Lights. Left. Right.

Trailer brakes. Car brakes.

Okay, let's go. Ignition. Start it.

Take your brake off, put it in low,

go, boy!

We were moving.

I couldn 't be sure whether

I was pulling it, or it was pushing me.

You'll get the hang of it.

Just remember to allow for that

extra length behind you when you turn.

Always think of it as a train behind you.

Forty feet of train.

Those trailer brakes

are your best friends.

You take care of them,

and they'll take care of you.

They're electric brakes...

...actuated by a magnet

which is connected to the brake pad.

This magnet is always in contact

with the armature.

The armature is in contact

with the brake drum...

...and revolves with the wheel. Red light.

Red light! Trailer brake!

Look, just keep repeating to yourself:

"Trailer brakes first,

trailer brakes first."

- Make it your motto.

- Trailer brakes first.

Okay, green light. Go, boy.

Don't get nervous.

You'll get the hang of it.

Get into the left-hand lane.

Ease her over a little more.

Put out your arm.

No, not your head, your arm!

Look out for the truck!

Trailer brake!

Always remember, trailer brakes first!

Trailer brakes first!

A few days before the wedding...

...the trailer was being packed

under Tacy's calm supervision.

Oh, my. Let us in, we've got more.

I was still in a state of shock.

I couldn 't get those trailer brakes

out of my mind.

Oh, Nicky, you poor lamb!

You're not going to be able

to get those things in there.

You're just gonna have to strip down

to the bare essentials.

What do we do with these, Tacy?

Put them in the blanket closet in there.

- Well, here I am.

- Oh, hi, darling.

Well, honey, put them under the bed

or something.

We'll have to find someplace

to put them. I can't find a place to put...

We're gonna need a trailer

for the trailer.

Tacy, what shall I do with these towels

marked "his"?

Put them over here with the ones

marked "hers."

- Tacy!

- What?

That thing can't ride there.

That's dangerous.

Now, just relax, dear.

I had Mr. Jackson make a little wedge,

and it's perfectly in place.

- What about these boxes?

- Make sure there's nothing in...

Excuse me, dear. Excuse me, Nicky.

It's absolute chaos. Excuse me.

- Tacy! Tacy! Come here, quick!

- What's the matter?

This is a madhouse!

Trailer brakes! Red light! Green light!

Trailer brakes! Red light!

What happened?

Oh, honey, what did you do?

I had everything arranged.

Look, do we have to have

all of this stuff?

Of course, dear.

Wouldn't one casserole be enough?

One casserole?

For souffls, for sauces, for pot roast?

- Really, dear.

- I'm sorry.

I need everything here. You can't set up

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