The Long, Long Trailer Page #4

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- What did you say?

- I say, you towed her far?

No, we haven't been traveling

very much lately.

- Nice rig, very good rig.

- Thank you.

I'm a Kozy-Coach man myself.

That's a good rig too.

Towed her over 7000 miles.

Well, that's not saying

that this isn't a good rig too. It is.

Thank you. Thank you.

Excuse me, please. Excuse me.

- Here you are, sir.

- Mr. Collini. Do you mind?

- I want the husband and kids to see this.

- Sure.

This is my husband Carl,

and this is Nick Collini.

Oh, look, darling! Look at this!

Is this really living?

Next year, we're gonna trade in

our Airway Zephyr and get a new one.

Well, I lived in a house in town

for 15 years.

I never did get to know some of my

neighbors, even after 15 years.

But in a trailer park,

you get to know everyone right off.

Yeah, you certainly do.

- Is my wife here?

- Here I am, baby.

I've been looking all over for you.

- I want you to meet my husband.

- How you do?

Pop? That's all I got left, pop.

No, just plain water.

Folks, do you know

what time it is? 11:30.

I'm sorry.

- Outside.

- Thank you. Good night. Well, well, well.

That's the fine thing

about trailer life.

Everybody bobs up

at one place or another.

There were people

we met in Miami...

Save it, Joe! Here, take this.

Don't worry about your wife. She's

gonna be right as rain in the morning.

I gave her a sleeping pill.

Bye, now.

Mrs. Jack Wood, lot 15.

Please call your children.

Mrs. Jack Wood, lot 15.

Please call your children.

They are running wild

in the park flowerbed.

Mr. Lawfield, lot 33.

Call your mother at her...

Well, don't tell me

you finally decided to wake up?

- Good morning, darling.

- Good morning.

What happened?

I haven't slept like that in my life.

What did they put in that bath?

Mrs. Hittaway decided it would be a

wonderful idea to give you a sleeping pill.

A sleeping...? Oh, fine.

Mr. Lawfield, lot 33.

Call your mother...

- Noisy here, isn't it?

- Yeah, it sure is.

We better get out of here

before the next delegation comes in.

You know, Nicky, we don't

have to stay in these trailer parks.

We can go anywhere we want to.

We've got wheels.

Why don't we just go along

until we find a nice place...

...and just stop there

and stay as long as we like?

Well, you won't have

no electricity, no refrigerator.

- No lights, no heater...

- I don't care.

You won't have any hot

and cold running water.

I don't care.

We got gas to cook by.

That's all that matters.

Oh, Nicky, let's do it.

It would just be wonderful.

Some lovely spot in the forest,

just you and me all alone.

You know something?

- Sounds wonderful to me.

- Me too.

Oh, there's a nice little forest road.

Yeah.

Oh, Nicky. It's all my fault.

Oh, now, don't be crazy. I was the one.

- I should have known better.

- What are we gonna do?

Well, we'll take the car

and go into town...

...and in the morning

I'll come back with a tow car.

You mean,

just go away and leave it?

- Leave our trailer?

- Certainly.

Oh, no, no.

I couldn't do that. I just couldn't.

Well, nobody will go by here.

This is an old logging road.

I can't go and leave

this beautiful new trailer...

...with all of our wedding

presents in it and our clothes.

Well, why can't we stay here?

Why can't we stay here all night?

Oh, Nicky, please?

- Okay.

- Give me the keys.

Now you turn on the gas

and I'll have dinner before you know it.

Gas.

"For overnight parking,

select an attractive trailer park.

The park attendant will

help you get your coach in position...

...and as soon as utilities

are attached to coach...

...you can turn on the refrigerator

and the water heater...

...shop for food and start eating."

Nicky, I can't open the door.

The other one doesn't work either.

Well, let me try it.

Oh, Nicky, it's starting to rain.

Naturally.

No, no, no! Now, don't hurt it.

- Don't hurt it?

- No.

- Get the flashlight, will you?

- Okay.

Oh, good. You got it open.

I won't unpack.

I'll just get out what we need for dinner.

Okay.

It's a good thing

we didn't have dinner last night.

Now I have everything

in the casserole.

Pull.

And all I have to do is...

...heat it up.

Oh, dear.

Oh, well, don't worry.

I'll fix something, honey.

Here's your favorite cheese.

And I'll fix some eggs

and make some nice hot coffee.

I'll go outside and get the jack

and try to level this thing up a little.

All right.

- I'm sorry, honey.

- That's all right.

While you're out there,

will you turn on the gas?

Okay.

- Okay!

- Oh, just a minute.

Okay.

Yes, sir.

Now for the pice de rsistance.

Isn't this fun, honey?

What more can you ask?

A hunk of cheese, jug of wine

and thou beside me in the "wild-erness."

Beside me where?

- The wild-erness.

- "In the wild-erness."

- Take a straw.

- Thanks.

Nicky, you know what

made me fall in love with you?

Because of the way

I drive a trailer?

My velvety eyes?

My elegant nose?

No. It was the first time I ever saw you.

At the celebration for the opening

of the new freeway, remember?

We were all at the beach.

And you never looked at me.

I did too.

You were being very gay,

making a pass at some girl.

And suddenly I noticed that one of the

buttons was off the front of your shirt.

And I just wanted to cry,

I felt so sorry for you.

I thought of you living all alone in hotels

and boarding houses in strange cities...

...and no one to sew your buttons on.

Right then, I made up my mind

that I was gonna marry you.

I was gonna marry you

and take care of you.

That's nice.

I was going to take care of you.

Now look what I've done.

Nicky?

What are you thinking about?

What are you thinking about?

I was wondering how the heck

they're gonna get this trailer out of here.

Hi.

I'll have your bed ready in a minute.

Sleepy boy.

Honey, don't you love

the sound of the rain on the roof?

Poor little baby.

You've had a busy day, haven't you?

What's the matter, honey?

Can't you sleep?

Now, let's see. Tow car, $20.

Two men, three hours, 21.50.

Washing car and trailer, $5.00.

Total, 46.50.

Let's call it an even 46.

Well, that's very kind of you.

There you are.

- Thank you and call again.

- You're welcome.

Thank you, sir.

Was it terribly expensive?

No more than if we had

a suite at the Waldorf.

Oh, dear.

Never mind. We won't be

spending money for a week...

...visiting Aunt Anastacia in Bridgewood.

Thank heavens.

Now, this is my father's side.

His two sisters,

Aunt Anastacia and Aunt Ellen.

She lives two houses down.

- Thank her for her present.

- What was it?

The luggage that we couldn't take back

because it was monogrammed.

- Oh, yeah.

- And Aunt Anastacia, of course.

She hasn't given our present yet.

She said it's gonna be a check.

I'm her namesake, so it should be

a fat one. Hundred dollars at least.

- Well, I married an heiress.

- Oh, pooh.

Then there's the twins, Dottie and Kay.

You met them at the wedding

and the boys and...

- Oh, yes. Poor Grace.

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