The Long Good Friday Page #3

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Billions.

I'll cut in you in for a percentage

for the name of your grass.

- He trusts me Harold.

- I trust ya.

- I've known him a lot of years.

- Then you should remember his name, shouldn't you?

- If I give it to you...

- No ifs, Parky.

A percentage?

Erroll.

- Erroll the Ponce from Brixton?

- Yeah..

Can't trust nobody, did you hear all that?

Brixton.

Which one's Erroll's house?

Never heard of him, man.

Razors, teach him some respect.

F***ing hell!

What are you doing?

Are you crazy?

I don't like people looking up

my nose when I'm talking to them

He could have killed me.

The way it's been going today I'll

probably get you cut price funeral.

Now Erroll's house, which one is it?

Number 33.

This used to be a nice street, this.

Decent families, no scum.

The beauty and the beast - blow his head off.

Are you in training or are you doing this for pleasure?

- We had a party last night.

- Booze, bins and pox.

Harold, get them to take that metal out of my ear.

No, I'm disgusted. Shoot him, let's put some muck

on the ceiling.

Please! What do you want?

Have you seen anything of my Eric flying

past your window about 2 hours ago?

What are you talking about?

Come on, downstairs. Down to the kitchen.

Put some deodorant on, I'm heavily into personal protection.

Filth.

Is there no decency in this disgusting world?

Here, while it's with us,

give yourself another prick.

Tell him what your name is.

Razors.

Otherwise known as Clapham Junction.

Or as the youth of today call him:

The Human Spirograph.

65 inches of stitching.

- Now you're gonna feel what it's like boy.

- He was a very popular fellow.

Harold, what do you want?

I have it from a very reliable source,

that you know what's what,

and you have ears and I wanna

know what you've heard.

Look am I supposed to know something?

Razors.

- What do you know about Colin?

- What about Colin?

I don't know nothing about Colin.

Look Harold, I've been here all night.

Look what's up?

Someone's been playing Guy Fawkes with

my Rolls, that's what's up mate.

What about Eric?

- Eric?

- You heard.

Well he doesn't like Colin.

I mean, queers get right up his hooter, you know?

After what happened this morning

you'd have to find his hooter to get up it.

Is something up with him then?

Well, let's put it this way:

apart from his arsehole being about 50 yards

away from his brains,

and the choirboys playing "'unt the thimble"

with the rest of him, he ain't too happy.

Well I haven't heard anything.

Well use your scarce ears.

Listen Erroll, the only decent grass

is the grass that grasses to me, right?

Harold, if I knew something...

Colin's been stabbed.

Well his boyfriend used to come here to score,

but he never said nothing so I know nothing.

Well a lot of people come here to score

but we sell very good sh*t.

Like you?

- Who's got it in for me?

- I don't know!

Cut him.

I still can't hear anything.

I don't f***ing know.

- Minded your car, mister.

- You should've asked for the money first.

I could've slashed your tires.

Here you are, don't get drunk.

Little acorns.

Little acorns grow.

Exactly, that's how I started.

- Didn't we all?

- Not Jeff.

Busy getting himself an education, weren't ya?

- Different generation, that's all.

- Billiard halls was my game.

Remember old Sammy?

I tore up 2 of his tables in a week,

he used to pay me not to play.

What do you think?

You told the yanks you control it here,

if they're sticking that many millions in it,

they wanna test if you DO control it.

No it's way off the mark.

They might check books and finances but they aren't going

to wipe out my firm, are they? I don't want anarchy.

These people deserve something better than this.

Not dog sh*t on the doorstep.

So nothing?

- Not a word, or no one's heard.

- No one's heard nothing?

That just ain't natural.

It's like one of them silent, deadly farts.

No clue, and then pow, you go cross-eyed.

- We've asked all the usual.

- Well maybe it's about time you asked the unusual, innit?

Like who?

- All the chaps are out asking, H.

- Well you've given up?

- Where are they?

- Down the casino.

Well get them of their arses and

make them start again, right?

Go on, what are you waiting for?

- Have you heard from Parky?

- Not yet.

Eugene will phone the minute he checks in.

Razors is back with the car.

Dinner at the pub.

Oh Christ.

Well you got to entertain 'em a bit, haven't ya?

- Are you refreshed?

- You bet, I'm ready for your tightest schedule.

Like you said Charlie, it's not a horse race, relax.

Sorry to hear the news Harold.

Victoria was just telling us about it.

Yes, well she hasn't been well for a long time,

hasn't she? Poor mother.

Don't worry, she'll be alright.

She's a fire, you know.

- I had to spend some time with her, you understand.

- That's nice.

Shall we go, dinner?

It's my favourite pub Charlie,

you're gonna love it, I'll tell ya.

I bought this pub about 2 years ago Charlie

the brewery turned it into slum, it's got real

old London character,

- you'll love it.

- That's nice

- I'm taking the counsellor in the Merc.

- Oh God help me have you seen him drive?

You can always walk, sunshine.

Let me out.

Stay back, stay back.

It might still be dangerous, stay back.

- Are you alright, Pete?

- I'm alright.

- What about your customers?

- I don't know I think they're alright.

It blew up there, there was no one up there.

Jesus.

If we've been 5 minutes earlier...

Yeah.

What the hell's going on?

- Keep it on the sofa.

- Alright.

- What is it, what is it?

- You gotta help Pete, right?

Occupy 'em.

Anything that's necessary

just buy me some time, right?

- Yeah I'll take them to Justine's.

- Terrific.

Get Razors to book a table.

- It was the gas.

- Gas?

This natural gas causes dangerous leaks sometimes.

Harold wants us to go onto a restaurant,

while he's dealing with it.

He'll join us later.

Jeff, stay with Harold will you, I'll drive.

How did he get in here in the first place?

Do you know how many people come up here

during the night?

And nobody spotted nothing, nothing at all?

Nothing happened tonight mate.

Mind you, a couple of days ago two guys came up,

they wanted protection..

I thought they were comedians, they had

big heads, sunglasses,

I thought the agency send them down for cabaret.

Protection, on my boozer?

he actually made threats?

I told 'em to piss off, I took no notice of 'em.

- Much obliged.

- I'm sorry mate, you know...

Didn't wanna worry you, sorry.

Razors, come here.

Get on the trumpet. I want all the corporation...

at the Mayfair Casino in half an hour.

I want them all there, I don't want any excuses.

I'm gonna nail these bastards, right?

- Who are they?

- Well we're gonna find out, aren't we?

It's getting dark, people get frightened

in the dark, they talk, don't they?

Hello Parky,

I'm afraid the business got a little bit burned.

What did these comedians look like?

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