The Look of Love Page #8

- No, you prefer, sort of,

- playing tennis and...

- Shame about your tits, really.

Otherwise you could

work in the Revue Bar

or be in Men Only, like your friend.

Fiona?

- Whatever she calls herself now.

- Yeah.

She's not in Men Only. Um...

Pa sacked her, so...

Oh. I thought she sacked Dad.

No, you're wrong. I sacked her,

so you're wrong about that.

- Yeah.

- Okay, that's enough, you two.

Come along, we're supposed

to be celebrating.

Yay.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Could I have your attention, please?

My name is Paul Raymond.

I am the...

Thank you... er, father of the bride.

That's what you think.

Deborah, you look super,

you've got a smashing figure,

and I'm very proud of you.

She may not be a double-D

but, to me, she'll always be three-D.

- My darling daughter Deborah. Ah.

- Aw.

Someone came up to me earlier

outside and said,

"I understand that the wedding

cost in excess of 75,000."

I said, "Please don't

talk about money, it's vulgar.

"And anyway," I added, "their wedding

was actually closer to 95,000."

# And put the freshness back

# Do the shake and vac...

- I love that! I love that. Oh!

- Guilty as charged.

Hi.

Don't call me Mum, call me Jean.

Well, you're very, very, very gorgeous

and I'm very proud to have you

as my son-in-law.

- I can't believe you're my...

- Am I interrupting you two?

- Huh?

- Hi, Debs.

Hi.

Hi. I, um...

- What?

- I'll see you later.

- See you later.

- Yeah, see you later.

- She's great.

- She's unbelievable.

You should get a room, you two.

Why don't you do that?

- You been dancing?

- No, I haven't been dancing, Jonathan.

I've just been watching my

mother dance with you.

Don't be cross with me.

It wasn't me that was...

I'm not cross, Jonathan. I'm not 14.

Welcome to the family, Jonathan.

- Cheers.

- You've been welcomed.

Our condolences on this sad day.

This is more like a f***ing funeral.

So, what are you doing later on?

Probably going to bed.

- With me?

- No.

- Uh, alone?

- Probably.

Mmm. I mean, my bed's too big

to sleep in all by myself.

Well, that was always

the problem, wasn't it?

I prefer a bed big enough

for just two people.

Oh.

You know what?

I want you to have my children.

Seriously. They're outside in the car.

You can take 'em now if you like.

Who is that foxy lady?

Oh, it might be me.

You are looking absolutely sensational.

Oh, thank you very much.

Are you feeling very lonely

now you've lost your girlfriend?

- Well, I can always get a girl.

- Well, I certainly know that.

No, seriously,

you're looking better than ever.

Better than women half your age.

That's a compliment, by the way.

Cheeky bugger.

Do I look good enough

to be on the cover of Men Only?

If you want to be. Is that an offer?

Might be.

Are we ready, Mr Bailey?

Hop on.

Which way, backwards or forwards?

Which way do you want to start?

I'm gonna do both, so...

Right, look back at me.

Take the bloody picture.

Where the hell is Tony, by the way?

There's no make-up artist.

No black and white film stock.

What's going on?

What's wrong with him?

Oh, that's beautiful.

Desire me.

Oh, Golly gosh!

Change of scenery. Great.

Did you know Debbie's doing drugs?

- Who said that?

- Well, is it true?

She's an adult.

She can take care of herself.

Come in.

Anna, will you tell me the truth?

You're another woman. Do I look red?

- You look gorgeous.

- See?

I bet Fiona got hair and make-up.

Oh, darling, just...

Look at me. Look at me, darling.

We know what's under there.

That's excellent. No love, just lust.

I wish I had half your talent

for manipulating people.

- Manipulate? - She must

want you back. Doesn't she?

She doesn't want me back.

She just wants to show me

that other men still desire her.

Yeah, well, I desire her.

F***ing hell, look at that.

I'm thinking of taking a year off.

- Oh, yeah?

- Going to live in a monastery

like a monk.

What, Rasputin?

- That's very good stuff.

- Yeah. Only the best.

Yeah, it's not too, er...

it's not too buzzy.

He's good. He doesn't...

he doesn't cut it with any sh*t.

We need to shift up a gear, right.

The magazine needs to...

needs to stay on top.

We've, uh... We're, you know...

We've dropped down to third, second.

We're revving hard

but we're stuck on a hill or...

I don't know, I don't know.

We've caught too many red lights

or whatever.

We need to put

the serious driving gloves on

because we don't...

we don't want to get, you know...

we don't want to get blisters,

uh, gripping the wheel too hard

whilst we're stuck...

Well, I think I know

what you're talking about.

We need to be in the fast lane.

Yes.

I shouldn't bring my work home

with me, you know, Tony, huh.

Eeny, meeny, miny, mo.

Can you not see

I am making great art here?

Well, it's not the neatest line

I've ever set up!

That's fantastic.

A sort of albino Supremes.

Sort of Chicken Supreme.

Paul Raymond, a name once

synonymous with sophistication,

has been accused by the Sunday Times

of organising prostitution

from one of his clubs in Soho,

the Pink Pussycat.

"Sex for sale. "

I can't believe I bloody fell for it.

Nice picture of you.

"Squalid side of Raymond's Soho. "

I am sorry, Paul.

Good morning.

How does it feel to be exposed

as a common pimp?

Well, I'm going to go to court,

and I will swear on a stack of Bibles

that these allegations bear no relation

to the way I conduct my business

in any shape or form.

Not only do they ruin the reputation

of one of London's finest districts,

but they also bring down

property prices,

which I'm sure you'll understand

that I do not want.

Club looks good.

- Mmm.

- Mmm.

- No, thanks.

- Repeat the conclusion...

This is quality.

...imagine that my

face is the camera

and I would like you to splay your legs

before the camera, my face.

Superb.

- Is that funny?

- It's hilarious.

I'd love to see that girl's p*ssy

but there's an old man's head

in the way.

- That was excellent.

- I love the gestures.

- They make you look like an air hostess.

- Funny-looking air hostess.

"Doors to manual. "

That's your new bird, Di, is it?

- Yes.

- All right.

- Yeah, she's hot.

- Thank you.

I'd f*** her.

Tony, please.

Let me know when you've

finished with her, eh?

Right, stop the... stop the film.

Switch it off.

How many grams are you

getting through a day?

Why?

Because you've got to stop.

You're out of control.

Bollocks. I do about

half as much as you do.

We both know that's rubbish.

And even if it were true,

I don't turn up for work two days late.

I don't insult the staff.

Listen to me. I don't insult the staff.

I don't upset advertisers.

And I certainly don't lose 10%

of US sales of Club International.

And I don't have a boss

because I am the boss.

Yeah, I like you, Tony,

but you've got to clean up your act.

- And I'm telling you for your own good.

- Who's gonna take over the magazines?

- Deborah.

- No.

No. No! Because she...

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