The Lookout Page #3

What?

I don't think

you should go home anymore.

- Jesus, Ted, you snuck up on me.

- I'm supposed to sneak up on you.

They didn't have no more jellies,

so I got you a custard.

Thanks. You got a cold, Ted?

No wonder I don't got pneumonia, given

the house is cold enough to hang meat.

How come?

Sherry won't have the heat on

after nine.

Because of the baby.

We don't refer to it

as "the baby" no more.

- We don't?

- Sherry calls it "the little engine."

- It makes her hot all the time.

- Right.

Doctor told her she's got

three times more blood in her

and that's why she can't cool off.

Kid's not even born yet,

I'm already awake all night.

You're lucky you don't ever

have to worry about that stuff.

I gotta go.

Remember, lock the back door.

I will.

- You left your door open again.

- Oh, sh*t.

I thought I was good-Iooking.

- Excuse me?

- I thought I was good-Iooking.

Well, maybe you were.

- Chris Pratt?

- Yeah.

My friend would like to buy you a drink.

I used to dance at Wet Willy's.

You know that place in Raytown?

It got closed down

on account of debts,

so right now I'm working with Maura

at the chamber of commerce.

I'm answering phones.

What do you do?

Oh, I, um...

- Sorry, I forgot your name.

- Again?

It's Luvlee. L-U-V-L-E-E.

Luvlee.

Now you'll remember me.

Anything about Kansas City,

I can tell you.

- Yeah? Like what?

- Did you know Teflon was invented here?

And Eskimo Pies.

And McDonald's Happy Meals.

And "Melts in your mouth,

not in your hands," M&M candy coating.

You guys are so interesting.

Why don't we go somewhere quiet where

we can hear what you two have to say?

- Why don't we do that?

- You wanna come?

That's better.

I've seen you play hockey, you know.

Me and Alice Watts used to

watch you play all the time.

I don't remember you.

I saw you play the night you beat

the Raytown Cougars

for the state championships.

It was your birthday.

Do you remember that?

- Yeah. Yeah, that was a good game.

- Yeah, it was.

You got your second five-minute major

right at the end of the game.

Next game you would have

sat on the bench.

But it was the last game of the season,

and you knew that it didn't matter.

So what do you do? You go and slash

the hell out of some shitty player

at the end of a game you already won.

And, still, the whole crowd sings

Happy Birthday to you.

Me and Alice Watts were, like, "Damn, it

must be pretty cool to be Chris Pratt."

Don't mind me.

And then I heard what happened to you

and Nina and Danny and...

What was the name of the pretty girl?

- Kelly.

- Kelly, that's right.

And everyone was talking about how you,

you know, you woke up this other guy.

I remember thinking,

"God, we're the same age.

That could be me that it happened to."

Anyways...

- Are you OK?

- I wanna see you naked.

- Sh*t. I'm sorry.

- No, don't be. I'm flattered.

- Oh, you got cold hands.

- Sorry.

I see something still works.

- You don't have to do this.

- I know. I want to.

How does a titan like Robert

Pratt feel about you living here?

He's never seen it.

Really?

Tomorrow a bunch of us are hanging

at this farm we're borrowing,

celebrate Thanksgiving dinner,

if you wanna come.

But wasn't that last week?

Yeah, well,

we're just getting around to it.

Luvlee wrote the address down

in your notebook.

Hey, you know something?

You're better than this.

A lot better.

- Chris?

- Yeah.

- Doc Watson's got nothing on me, man.

- Well, good night.

You get stoned?

With somebody wearing perfume?

- No.

- No, no, stop. Don't move.

Were you with a lady tonight?

Son of a b*tch, you got laid.

- I don't really wanna talk about it.

- Oh, but you are, my friend, you are.

Come here.

So, tell me... did you get a hummer?

- Jesus, Lewis.

- All right. At least tell me her name.

- Luvlee something.

- Lovely? That's a name?

Yes. L-U-V-L-E-E.

That's a new one. So what's this

Luvlee something look like, huh?

She's nice.

Here I am sitting at home alone

every night

while you're out getting blown and God

knows what else by Luvlee something,

who probably has a friend.

- Lemons. That's what it is.

- What what is?

- That's her last name.

- Luvlee Lemons? That's her name?

Well, it's her stage name.

She's a performer. Or she was.

And by stage, I'm assuming

you mean the kind with a pole?

- What do you mean?

- Let's move on.

- Where'd you meet her?

- Gary introduced me to her.

- Who's Gary? Gary who?

- Gary Spargo.

- Do I know this guy?

- I don't think so.

- I just met him down at the local.

- Huh.

- Well, I better get some sleep.

- Yeah. Yeah, you better.

You dog.

Gary Spargo.

Whoa! You scared me.

- I'm Chris.

- Yeah, yeah. Aaron Cork.

Got a good grip. Come on in.

We've been waiting on you.

- Is turkey supposed to be rare?

- I don't think so.

I totally undercooked it. I've gotta

put it back in. You have to help me.

Hey. You made it.

Tortilla salad, pierogies, egg rolls.

We made too much food.

- There's nine of us.

- There's seven. You, me, Cork, Marty...

Never mind.

I'm the chef.

Go on. They're waiting for you.

You smoke a joint to relax,

but you won't let me rub your shoulders.

I will never let you touch me.

You're not comfortable

with your sexuality.

Don't move.

Everybody,

this is Chris "Slap Shot" Pratt.

Hey, Chris. How you doing?

- Here's the Corker. Avoid that guy.

- Too late. We're old pals.

This is Marty. Marty is the guy

you wanna teach you how to surf.

- He's the only boy in Kansas knows how.

- I went to Framington, man.

We played you guys in Division A.

- I didn't really do sports.

- Gare, we gotta jam.

Too bad.

How many of these things

you gonna need?

- I'm gonna take all of them. Thanks.

- Cool.

Good seeing you guys.

Marty, watch out. It's heavy.

- Hey, sit down. Sit down.

- This your farm?

My Uncle Bone found it

and kind of negotiated with the owner.

- Wanna try some wine?

- I can't.

Come on. Take it.

- Marty?

- Yes.

Nice. One for me.

And toast.

How about, uh... F*** it. Family, right?

- Hey, yeah. Cheers, man.

- Family's good.

Family.

- Welcome.

- Who are all these people?

- Whose place is this?

- Friend of a friend. Bone?

- Dinner is served.

- It's about time.

- Can we get some water?

- Food.

- Why the hell we eating burritos?

- Get your own water.

- Want some gravy?

- What's wrong?

Nothing.

I just remembered why I came here.

I'm just saying...

Check this out.

... some old farmhouse.

I don't know where it is.

No, that's water.

Mommy's doing dishes.

Mommy's cleaning up

after a bunch of pigs.

I'll see you in three weeks.

Tell Grandma to put it on the calendar

this time. I love you, too.

Hey, Gare.

Hey, man. Why don't you come on down?

Couldn't sleep, huh?

Well, that's the thing about good wine.

Doesn't make you sleepy.

But, then, it doesn't give you

a hangover either, so...

Unless your brain's all f***ed up.

- You played for Framington, right?

- No, man.

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