The Lookout Page #5

- Go ahead.

- Do you wanna come home?

- What?

You don't have to be afraid to ask.

The door is always open for you here.

I gotta go, Dad.

Once upon a time, I woke up.

I took a shower with soap.

I skipped breakfast

so that I could follow an armored car.

I cased the Noel Town bank.

I rented an acetylene tank

for the cutting torch.

Cork and I went car shopping.

And then I took pictures of the vault.

- Ted.

- Freezing out there.

- What are you taking pictures of?

- Nothing.

I just, uh...

I just wanted to show my parents

where I work, that's all.

Give me the camera, Chris.

Go stand over there.

I'm sure your parents would like

to see you in the picture.

I know mine would.

My dad one time took a video of me

giving this guy a speeding ticket.

That's my dad.

Why don't you put your hand

on the handle there? Yeah.

Yeah, that's great, that's great.

Say "Go Mustangs!"

Vault looks like an antique

Hogue and Langehammer.

The lock's a 1922 Moss Hamilton.

Dual custody with

a three-movement S&G time lock,

another S&G mounted vertically down,

whatever that means.

I say we just cut through the side.

Vault's so old, it's not gonna be

wired, probably got blind spots.

Jackhammer the cement, torch the skin.

Town's so dead

no one's gonna hear anything.

- Cameras?

- I'm working on that.

Chris, my number's in there.

Call the minute the money comes.

- We go in there Friday.

- That's my job? Just to call you?

No. On the night, your job will be

to watch out for Deputy Doughnut.

He drives by, never at the same time,

so there's no way to plan for him.

- That's it?

- That's it? Dude, that's a lot.

That's the most important job of all.

You're the lookout.

Hi. I'd like to exchange this, please.

- Yeah, this is good.

- Excellent choice, sir.

Shh!

You're gonna wake up Lewis.

I've never seen a blind person

up close before.

- What...?

- Oh, that.

They did that so I could breathe.

I was in a coma for ten days.

Ouch.

Do you remember?

I just remember I opened my eyes,

I saw my dad sitting there,

and I go, "I love you, Boomer."

And then he starts crying.

- You call your dad Boomer?

- No, that's the name of my first dog.

Yeah. He was a hunting dog.

He was a Chesapeake Bay retriever.

The only one in the world

that couldn't swim.

- You used to shoot birds?

- Ducks, geese, and deer.

With my dad and my idiot brother.

- And you liked doing that?

- No. But I was good at it.

What a surprise.

I'm gonna kiss it better.

Luvlee, I presume.

I recognize the perfume.

Can I offer you some pie?

It's not homemade, but it's decent.

No, thank you.

Probably gotta watch your figure,

your line of work.

Nice name, by the way. Luvlee Lemons.

I don't dance anymore.

I was never very good at it.

Please tell me you're not waving

your hand in front of my face.

Sorry. Have you been blind

your whole life?

- Most of it, yeah.

- How'd it happen?

- I looked at the sun too long.

- Wow. You hear about that...

Let me ask you a question.

What's your real name?

- Why? Are you gonna Google me?

- I did, what would I find?

- Probably nothing.

- And what happens if I Google Gary?

How'd you meet Chris?

Center put us together

a few years ago.

- Now he's your best friend?

- He's a good friend.

Maybe your only friend, huh?

That thing I said about the sun?

That's a lie. Total bullshit.

I was about your age.

Some buddies and me wanted to make

money, so we started a meth lab.

- You blew yourself up?

- Do I look like I blew myself up?

No, I didn't blow myself up.

This was a while back,

before meth was fashionable,

so unfortunately it wasn't yet known

that if you work

in an unventilated room,

the fumes can

and, in fact, do blind you.

It probably could have been avoided

if I had just stopped and bothered

to ask a simple question:

What am I doing here?

That is a sad story.

I'm sorry... if it's true.

Tell me, what are you all cooking,

sweetheart? Why are you here?

The same reason you are. Chris Pratt.

Sweet. Of course,

not as sweet as meeting in a bar.

- Or giving somebody a cell phone.

- Gary wants to help Chris.

- I'll bet he does.

- Do you know Gary?

I've known lots of Garys.

- A few Luvlees, too.

- Meaning?

Meaning something tells me

that you really don't believe

you're going to be invited

to the next Pratt Thanksgiving.

I could be.

Sometimes I wake up and think I can see

until I walk into a door.

The Luvlee Lemons of this world

do not end up with Chris Pratt.

Thank you.

- A**hole.

- Sad but true.

But that brings me back

to that original question, Luvlee.

So tonight, in the dark,

I'm gonna help you out and ask it again.

What are you doing here?

- Yeah.

- The money's here.

That's good news.

We go tomorrow.

Sorry I'm late.

I had to run down to the hospital.

Sherry thought

she was going into labor.

It was these weird fake contractions.

I don't really understand. Anyway,

I wanted to stop by on our way home.

- Oh, I'm fine, thanks.

- Cool. See you tomorrow night.

Hey, Ted.

You don't always have to come by

and check up on the bank.

You think I come by here

to check up on the bank?

I come by here to check up on you,

make sure you're OK.

Yeah, well... if I need a doughnut,

I can get my own.

I sure as sh*t don't need you

feeling sorry for me.

- You know.

- I know.

This whole Earl of Sandwich thing

is revisionist bullshit.

Nobody invented the sandwich

any more than mashed potatoes.

- Want me to read you the menu?

- Why? I order the same damn thing.

- So you know what you want?

- What I always have. Teriyaki burger.

I'll tell you what, Chris,

we have our place, no menus.

Server comes up to the table,

brings ice water,

tells you what's cooking that day.

That'll be great.

Especially for our blind customers.

- I'm sorry, sightless.

- OK, what can I get you guys?

For starters,

I'll take the name of your perfume.

- It's Obsession.

- Consider me obsessed.

- The teriyaki burger.

- Medium well, extra teri on the side.

And two Cokes.

Tell me, gorgeous,

is it hot in here or is it just you?

- You two are trouble, I can tell.

- Who, us? No.

- We're just having a gimps' night out.

- I'll get your drinks.

- She sounds cute.

- Why'd you say that?

- Because she sounds cute.

- Gimps' night out?

- What, you don't think she noticed?

- I can do any f***ing thing I want to.

And it's not even

night out either, stupid.

I'm sorry. Did I embarrass you?

The way you talk to people sometimes,

it's obnoxious.

- How do I talk to people?

- That waitress, the way you hit on her.

Come on. I've been turned down more

times than the beds at the Holiday Inn.

- That doesn't keep me from trying.

- Has it ever worked?

Think that waitress is thinking,

"I wanna bone that blind guy,

looks like Larry Flynt."

- Larry Flynt? Oh, Jesus.

- I'm moving out.

Do you wanna know when?

Sure.

- When?

- I don't know. But soon.

Here we are, gentlemen. And enjoy.

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