The Losers Page #2

Okay.

Do I know you?

Relax, Papi.

Do I not look relaxed?

No.

Think we can change that?

Wow, it's everything a girl can dream of.

Do you have a bathroom?

No, I specifically requested

the only hotel room in the world...

...that doesn't have a bathroom.

Are you trying to turn a yes into a no?

Oh. Thank you.

So, what brings you to Bolivia?

Cruise ship.

We're a landlocked country.

Well, it's an amazing cruise ship.

Where were we now?

Well, I think you were about to tell me...

...how you enjoy following me.

You saw me, didn't you?

I did.

I bet you didn't see me

on Mercado Street.

I have a business proposition

for you, Clay.

Oops. What happened to your accent?

Oops.

I don't wanna hurt you.

- You're not going to.

- Oh, yes, I am.

- Hi.

- Hi.

What do you want?

I can help you find Max.

I'm listening.

How did you know we were alive?

I counted the number of teeth

in the chopper wreckage.

Plus you guys aren't exactly subtle.

Here's the deal.

I get you and your men back in the States.

In exchange, you get Max for me.

- What's the catch, lady?

- It's pretty much a suicide mission.

Why should I trust you?

Because if I were lying, I wouldn't have

used the words "suicide mission."

Just meet me here tomorrow.

And bring your boys.

- Goodbye.

- Hey.

If you're lying to me, I'll kill you.

It was nice meeting you too.

Yes, it was.

I'm sorry we're late.

There was a party at the doll factory.

It was Pepito's birthday.

- Really?

- Yeah.

So she wanted to meet in a cemetery.

Because that's not,

like, foreboding at all.

- Am I the only one that sees this shirt?

- No.

Oh, it's my niece's soccer team.

Eight and under.

I checked their scores online and I...

What?

They're in the playoffs.

What do you have on her?

Besides a pant-busting crush?

Her company file is blank.

CIA has a standing kill order on her.

As does Hamas, Sinn Fin.

Pretty much everyone with the exception of

PETA wants this chick amscrayed.

You thinking clear on this? Because every

time you mess up, it's because of a woman.

- Name one time that I...

- Amber.

- Amber's husband was the problem.

- Her husband wasn't the one who shot you.

- Only in the leg.

- What about Emma?

- Doesn't count. I didn't sleep with Emma.

- Because she put a bomb in your car!

I admit, that did take a little of

the romance out of the relationship.

Yeah. And now this chick shows up and...

What's her name, Aisha?

And well, she burns down our hotel.

I'm clear, Roque.

Well, you better be,

because I ain't getting killed by no girl.

It's been a long time

since anyone called me a girl.

She put a bomb in your car?

She was volatile.

Aisha, this is Jensen,

Pooch, Roque, Cougar.

Really? Heh.

Gentlemen, in 97 hours,

Max will be in Miami.

He travels in an armored column

with at least 30 private security...

...armed to the teeth.

You have a better shot

at kidnapping the president.

Good news for you is I have the power

to get you guys back in the U. S...

...and fund the entire op as you see fit.

You get Max and we're square.

And why should we believe you?

Because I'm the first person you've met

who even admits he exists.

Listen, you guys can all stay here

in Bolivia and rot.

Or you can go home and get revenge

on the man that framed you.

It's your choice.

Colonel?

Don't call me that.

We're not soldiers anymore.

Okay, you know that if we do this...

...we are waging a war

against the Central Intelligence Agency.

They started it.

Okay, here's what I'm hearing.

I'm hearing, "No." I'm hearing, "Leave."

I'm hearing, "I'm sorry."

- Is that what I'm hearing?

- We cannot do what you ask. I'm sorry!

Tell me, Nabil, is this a moral issue

or a financial issue?

- A moral issue.

- Really?

You morally object to this deal?

- Yes, I'm sorry. Please, leave.

- Okay, so that is what I'm hearing.

Now I want you to listen to me,

listen carefully...

...because I want you to hear this.

Wade?

What is this? What are you doing?

No, please!

What the hell was that?

You gave me the nod.

A hit-him-in-the-face nod,

not a throw-him-off-the-roof nod.

- I thought that's what you wanted.

- At most...

...at most,

that was a break-his-fingers nod.

Jesus, Wade.

The man was a scientific genius.

Granted, his weight signaled certain

impulse-control issues...

...but that's no reason

to throw his fat ass off 57 floors.

Sorry.

I think I speak for everyone here

when I say your actions were excessive.

And yes, more than just a little wasteful.

But then, it does seem

to have had the desired effect.

- I'll tell you what, throw baldy off next.

- No, please. Wait.

We have a different moral perspective

than our late colleague.

I need one to test and four to use.

Four snukes?

We would need much money.

You will have much money.

Welcome back to the land of the living.

How do you wanna begin?

We're gonna go bird hunting.

It's a sonic de-materializer.

Better known as a snuke.

For the 21st-century green terrorist.

Pure destruction.

No pollution.

So who are we selling them to?

Chinese extremists, PLF,

the frigging French Basques.

As long as they have the right price

and are willing to use it.

No stockpiling, no deterrence.

It's like giving a handgun

to a 6-year-old, Wade.

You don't know how it's gonna end...

...but you're pretty sure

it's gonna make the papers.

Another war.

Well, what do you believe in, Wade?

I'm guessing shotguns and big titties.

I also enjoy air shows and beer.

We're saving the country...

...doing something for the benefit of

the United States of America.

I was born in Quebec.

Okay. Then we're saving North America.

Oops. Sorry.

Let me have your weapon, Wade.

Base 1, this is Cavalier 415!

We've been in a collision

with a civilian vehicle.

Carvey's dead

and Freeman's hurt real bad.

We need medevac immediately.

He's got kids, Base 1, he's got kids!

That sucked.

- Roger, Cavalier 415.

- Come on, Jensen. You're better than that.

- Scrambling a chopper. Hang in there.

- He's got kids.

So contrived.

I used to be good at that. Right, Roque?

- Shut up.

- Thanks, man.

Robert De Niro who?

- Jensen, shut up.

- You shut up, Roque.

You're dead. I'm spinal injury.

Spinal injury can talk. Dead can't.

Stop talking or I'll break your neck really.

You really gotta start getting

into character.

I'm serious, man. Dead guy, no talking.

All right.

Base 1, this is Medvac Delta.

We have visual on Cavalier 415.

Here we go.

Buddy, we'll get you patched up

in no time.

Oh, my God. Hi.

What's your name?

Fire when ready, Cougar.

Ow.

- Oh, sh*t.

- What the hell's going on?

Woo-hoo.

You've just been chopper-jacked, fellas.

Where's my wild goose?

The GPS?

Got it!

Have you ever seen an EM look like this?

Really, bro? "Hi, what's your name?

I have no legs,

but I wanna take you on a date"?

Yo, J.

What do you think is up with all this

"Don't call me colonel" stuff?

It's classic loss of identity.

Clay defined himself by his place

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