The Lower Depths Page #2

Surely the baron is joking.

Anything else, sir?

- Go to bed, Felix.

- Good night, sir.

- Good night, Felix.

Sleep well, sir.

I won't be easily awakened.

Please be so kind

as to return my gun.

- What?

- I need it.

- Sorry?

- Careful, it's loaded.

Put it down.

- You won't call for help?

- Call who?

- Servants. The police.

- What for?

- You give your word?

If I understand correctly,

you're here to rob me.

How funny.

You've got the wrong house.

The banker lives next door.

- Don't try to fool me.

- Im not.

You'll be lucky to find 50 rubles

in the whole place.

You're welcome to the rest.

It's no longer mine.

How about a shot for courage?

Yes?

Yes.

A drink between colleagues.

No joke?

You can trust me.

Then let's have another.

It's good stuff.

Is your line of work profitable?

Well, it has its ups and downs.

Somehow the job that'll put you

on easy street never pans out.

That's life, my friend.

Are you hungry?

- I wouldn't want to impose.

But you'd rob me blind instead?

Hardly logical.

To hell with logic.

I was raised with certain manners.

We'll say you're stealing it, then.

Better?

In that case, I don't mind at all.

- Are you often hungry?

- lt happens.

- Where do you sleep?

- ln a flophouse.

- Happy with your life?

- Sometimes.

When?

When?

I like it in the summer

when it's nice and warm.

I like dozing in the grass.

Is that nice?

It can be.

- Have you always lived like that?

- Always.

Did you never think

such a life wasn't worth the trouble?

Such a life?

It's the only life I know, sir.

You may drop the formalities.

With pleasure.

You lose.

- What were we playing for?

- Your place in paradise.

- May I take one?

- Help yourself.

- There's only one left.

- Take it.

Then we'll split it.

Here.

Take my case, then.

If you insist.

Pepel, it's a pity

I didn't meet you before.

Why didn't you rob me sooner?

If only Id known.

- Are we stopping?

- Im tired.

This is cozy.

It's a shame to take it off.

- Then keep it.

- I couldn't.

They'd give me a hard time

at the flophouse.

- What are you doing?

- Relax.

Only servants are bothered

by things like that.

- Will we meet again?

- Who knows?

Id like to give you a souvenir.

Choose something.

- I couldn't.

- None of it is mine anyway.

Id like that.

Handsome beasts.

- And they're detachable.

You like it?

- Very much. Ive always liked horses.

It's the only thing Ive ever won:

a prize for horsemanship.

- Can I really have it?

- And anything else you like.

I don't care about the rest,

but this I like.

This is the real deal!

- lt's bronze.

They didn't cheat you, buddy.

- One stylish valet. What style is it?

- Stylish.

- Three armchairs.

- Take them away.

One large and two small carpets.

Over there.

Four curtains.

One, two, three, four.

- A chandelier with five arms.

- Up there.

- One gilded wooden console, marble top.

- Over there.

Come, gentlemen.

Ill announce you to the baron.

One allegorical statue.

Allegorical. There.

...a tapestry by Gob -

I can't read it.

Gobelins!

Did the baron sleep well?

No, but what a pleasure

to wake up.

The repossessors are here, sir.

I trust my egg will not be spoiled.

A messenger from the count

is waiting, sir.

- Show him in.

- Now?

- While there's still something to sit on.

- Quite right, sir.

Shall I raise the blinds?

- lf you wish.

Tell me, Felix.

Have you ever slept in the grass?

It would be beneath my dignity, sir.

If anyone says I have,

be assured it is slander.

- I didn't believe it, Felix.

- Thank you, sir.

In the grass!

- Shall I show him in?

- Show him in, Felix.

- Please forgive so early a visit, Baron.

- Please sit down.

- The nature of my visit forbids it.

- Then remain standing.

In view of last night's incident,

the count hereby informs you

your presence at the chancellery

is no longer required.

- What incident?

- The 50,000 rubles you lost.

Oh, yes, the secret funds.

The noise is my furniture being sold.

The count intervened on your behalf

to accord you an unlimited leave.

Without pay.

Thank him for me.

Did he mention the 10,000 rubles

I repaid him?

- Not to me.

- Quite right. Reassure the Count.

Ill go away for a cure.

Ill send him the address

of some quiet spot

in case he too needs some rest.

Care for an egg?

Baron!

Good-bye, sir.

Show the gentleman out.

Sir, a policeman is here.

A burglar was arrested

and he claims to know you.

His name's Pepel.

PepeIs been arrested?

Quick, help me dress.

- lt's you.

- Yes, it is.

I wanted you to get caught.

You said God wouldn't listen.

- God is misinformed. Im innocent.

- Tell him yourself - I don't believe you.

Don't believe me?

I swear he gave me those things.

Who?

A baron.

He even invited me for dinner.

- Really?

- We had veal.

Yeah, roast veal.

When I left,

he gave me a bronze statue.

The only thing he'd ever won:

a prize for horsemanship.

A bronze statue?

The horses you saw on the table.

I saw them, all right -

Im sure you stole them.

Believe what you want.

I don't care.

Did Vassilissa send you?

You came on your own?

You felt sorry for Pepel the thief?

Sorry? You got what you deserved.

You were looking to go to prison.

I hope you never get out.

No use getting all worked up.

Good-bye.

- Pepel!

- What?

I brought you an orange

and an apple,

and some cigarettes.

Id rather have had a kind word.

I can't.

Thanks anyway.

What is this chair?

The bailiff said that people

must be left something to sit on.

Could they be more sensitive?

Apparently it's the law.

Good old Felix,

Ill never return here.

I can hardly restrain my tears, sir.

You are impeccable, Felix.

Tell me, Felix,

I owe you a lot in wages,

but will all you've stolen from me

be fair compensation?

Have no worries on that account, sir.

Don't bother to show me out -

I know the way.

Farewell, Felix.

In a way, lnspector,

I don't mind landing in jail.

Im actually glad.

- Really?

- Yes.

There are certain people Im avoiding.

You know, bad influences.

You must be thinking,

A bad influence on Pepel?

Must be real scum!

You're absolutely right.

Worse. lt's no laughing matter,

I swear.

- Really?

- Oh, yes.

So on the one hand,

Id like to stay in prison,

but on the other,

Id like to be released

to prove to a certain person

that Im not what she thinks I am.

She's so stubborn.

Worse than a mule!

- How interesting.

- lsn't it?

So, how about a good deed?

Drop the charges.

Just to really get her goat.

What is it?

Come closer.

We're in for a laugh.

The baron is here in person.

Baron, you honor us too much,

coming here on such a trivial matter.

We'll return your items

after we've dealt with this man.

- What items?

- The cigarette case and the bronze.

Was something else stolen as well?

- Nothing was stolen.

Kindly release my dear friend.

Hello, Pepel.

- How are you, Baron?

Id be happy to oblige, Baron,

but this man told us

such an unbelievable story -

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