The Lucky Man Page #4

- What the hell is going on?

- No.

- Shut the f*** up for minute, okay?

I just had some really

weird sh*t happen and I

just need a minute

to think. Okay?

You know what?

Keep this sh*t up!

Because, I'm gonna be on a bus

back to Texas... really soon.

I just tried to buy some coke

and I ended up shooting a guy.

Alright? I shot

a guy but he's okay.

- Are you insane?

- I, I pu, I put,

my hands on him and he healed,

okay? Healed 'em, and he walked

away. I don't know how... but,

it's true. Just don't worry.

We'll go get us some food...

everything is gonna be okay.

Alright!... God damn,

piece of sh*t...

Awwwwww!

Piece of sh*t.

Shut the f*** up, alright?

You shut up... I hate your face.

[UPBEAT 50'S MUSIC]

DEAREST ONE, DEAREST ONE

OOOOOOO:

DEAREST ONE, DEAREST ONE

OOOOOOO:

HILDA:
Hi, can I get you

something to drink?

I'll take iced tea,

non-sweet, extra lemon please.

I'll have a water, no ice.

I'll be right

back with your drinks.

You never told me

how you got the gun.

Was that a divine miracle

too, or did you lie to me?

I got it from a pawn shop, okay.

Alright?

I need a little

extra protection.

Speaking of which,

runnin' low on funds,

I got enough for about another

week, might have to sell my

watch. We need to

hit another church soon.

Order up!

Anything good in that paper?

Not unless you mean a

painter or a handyman needed...

Pinche Guerros are too

damn lazy in this country.

Let me see it.

You don't know where to look.

Ahhhh.

Pendejo!

Whatever, Johnny the Baptist...

you know everything.

Look... right there.

Big as f***in' Dallas...

Pastor needed, First Church of

the Believers, apply in person

contact Mary O'Neal

in the church office, Monday's

and Wednesday's

nine to five, 362 Main Street.

That's us, bingo! The Lord

is on our side. He really is.

I hope you know that. It may

seem f***ed up at times but,

He always provides.

Afraid I lost ya out on

the road back there...

Johnny what you said, it really

messed with my head.

I don't know how much

longer I can take this sh*t.

I'm starting to freak out, okay?

This fantasma cucu crap is esta

loco. Estas loco.

(is crazy, crazy)

I love you.

Tell ya what, I'll make ya a

bet. I pick out a song on that

jukebox and you get

up here and dance with me.

I never get to dance

with the girl I love.

And what is the bet?

Two pairs of boots...

instead of one, if ya dance.

You think I'm scared?

I'm not scared.

This Latina isn't scared of

sh*t. I will dance naked for

those boots.

- Oh yeah?

- Um hum.

Ya might have to.

[50'S SLOW DANCE MUSIC BEGINS]

WHEN YOU FIND:

THE ONE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR

DON'T ASK, DONT ASK FOR MORE

WHEN YOU FIND:

YOUR DREAMS HAVE COME ALIVE

DON'T ASK

DON'T ASK FOR MORE

I CAN SAY:

This could be a big one

for us baby. We really need it.

Runnin' low. Wish me luck.

MARY O'NEAL:
Okay, Okay Mrs. Taylor...

I'll get that out to you right away.

Oh, and God Bless.

Yes, uh huh. Bye Bye now.

Howdy Ma'am, I'm Pastor Jones.

My wife and I were having dinner

out on the highway last night

and we came across your ad and

thought we'd pay ya a visit.

Ya see we're headed out to

California to do the Lord's

work, a little church just North

of Fresno. We had a few days

free so we thought we'd stop by

and see if we could be of some

assistance to you and the good

people of the church?

Bless you, Pastor.

You said, Pastor Jones?

Well, Bless you too. Yes, that's

right, Pastor Johnny Jones.

Originally from the

Great State of Texas.

Texan, aye?

My daughter married a Texan.

Oh, that's a lucky lady.

Um, yes Pastor Jones our pastor

of 10 years took ill and died

last month. And we have been

without guidance for three weeks

now. The associate pastor has

been just overwhelmed. He's very

young. Hasn't even

finished seminary yet.

Well I just, I'm so sorry

to hear that, sister.

We would be delighted to have

you this weekend to lead us in

guidance and in prayer if you

could? The assistant has just

been booked with paying house

calls and doing the job of two.

I know that he would be

very happy to get a break.

Well he does the best he can

with his experience, ya know?

Sister O'Neal is it?

Oh please, call me Mary, Pastor.

Mary, I would be absolutely

delighted to lead the church

this Sunday. I... It would be

the least we could do.

After all a church in need, is

the Lord's church indeed.

We hit the jackpot honey...

house full of Baptist just dying

to give to the Lord.

We're on for this Sunday.

Maybe now I can get

my new purse and shoes?

Yeah, I'll get

your damn boots.

Ahhh... thank you God.

Hey honey, hurry up in there...

I gotta take a sh*t.

That burger

yesterday isn't sittin' right.

In a minute.

Jumpin' Jesus. Thank God.

I was about to explode.

Gross. Esta Cochino Marano.

(you filthy pig)

Hey honey... why don't ya pick

out one of your best dresses to

wear this Sunday?

What do you mean?

All of my dresses are cute.

Yea, I know but I... I really

want to impress these people.

Okay, I'll see what I can do.

Yea,

it could be a big haul for us.

Mmm, you smell good... why

don't you go pick out a dress?

Ahhh, yes.

Which one do you

think I should wear on Sunday?

Ahhhhh um...

Do you think we will ever get

married, Johnny? We've been

together forever now.

I'm ready.

Do you want to have kids?

You sure know how to end the

night, dont'cha? Look I promise

as soon as I'm ready for all

that, I'll let you know first.

I still got

my new purse and boots, right?

Yes, you get your new purse and

boots... because you're my

princess. But, right now

I needa little R.F.P.

What is R.F.P.?

Uh, Rebecca's

fantastic p*ssy.

Get over here.

[SEDUCTIVE ROCK MUSIC BEGINS]

[SEDUCTIVE ROCK MUSIC BEGINS]

ALL NIGHT:

STARIN' AT THE CEILIN'

CAN'T SHAKE AWAY, I'M FEELIN'

SAY I'M GOIN' NOWHERE

I'M GETTIN' THERE FAST

EVERYBODY'S WONDERIN'

JUST HOW LONG I'M GONNA LAST

[MUSIC BEGINS TO FADE]

Honey...

Hmm?

I'm gonna take the car

out for a few hours to get some

girl stuff.

Do you need anything?

No but, hurry up and get

your ass back here quick.

I gotta get my suit dry

cleaned for Sunday.

Okay, grumpy.

I'll be back pronto.

Bye.

[SPANISH MUSIC BEGINS]

Ay, ay, ay, ay,

canta y no llores.

(yes, yes, yes,

Sing and don't cry)

[DRAMATIC AMBIENCE AND

SOUND EFFECTS]

AHH! MOTHER F***ER!

I told Little Johnny I don't

want that f***in' dog in

the house.

- That's enough.

- Literally, tie it up.

F***... Shut the f*** up.

I don't give a sh*t.

Get away from me.

No, you come here b*tch.

I hate you.

Where the f*** you going?

I'm just trying to

get away from you!

[JARRING SOUND EFFECT]

[DRAMATIC SPOOKY AMBIENCE]

Okay.

[PHONE RINGING EFFECT]

REBECCA'S MOM:

Bueno? (hello)

Hey Mom, it's me, Becca.

Ay, Mija...

I've been so worried about you.

It's been like two weeks

since you've called me.

Donde estas, Mija?

I'm here in

Nuevo Mexico with Johnny.

Mija, El es el diablo.

(he is the devil)

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