The Madness of King George Page #2

Yes.

Good evening, Mrs King.

Good evening, Mr King.

When we get this far,

I call it dandy, hey?

Yes, Mr King.

Ohh.

I ate a pear at supper.

Two pears, sir.

It's as tight as a drum!

Aah! Rrrah!

Ha ha ha.

Saving your presence,

I will try a fart.

No?

Cold fish, Pitt.

Never smiles.

Yet he works hard, though.

Never stops. Drinks, they say.

They all drink.

His father, poor man...

went mad.

Huh. Doesn't show

any sign of that.

(Queen) Mmm.

Not at the moment, anyway.

Ohh!

Oh, the pain!

George! George!

Ohh! Oh! George! Oh!

Oh! Help me. Help us!

Help us!

Help!

(Doctor) He looks well enough.

I sent over some senna.

Was that given to him?

Yes. The pain got worse.

Whereabouts was the pain?

Would it not be better

to ask His Majesty?

How long have you

been in waiting?

I cannot address His Majesty

until he addresses me.

I cannot inquire after

His Majesty's symptoms

until he chooses

to inform me of them.

Sir George,

whatever his situation,

His Majesty is just a man.

You're the king's equerry

with radical notions like that?

Good God!

With any patient, I undertake

a physical examination

only as a last resort.

It's an intolerable intrusion

of a gentleman's privacy.

With His Majesty,

it's unthinkable!

Sharp, sharp!

The king! The king!

Ah, Baker. Yes, a ninny,

what, what?

You can tell him

I am much better.

I had a pretty smart

bilious attack,

but it has passed.

Would it be possible

to take His Majesty's pulse?

Would it be possible to take

Your Majesty's pulse, sir?

Yes. Do it.

Now don't faff, sir.

Hold it, man. Don't fondle it.

Were you responsible

for the senna, Baker?

I prescribed it

for Your Majesty.

Then you are a fool, Baker.

It's only a mild

purgative, sir.

Mild? 14 motions,

and you call it mild?

I could have manured

the whole parish.

If 2 glasses bring the king low,

can be the end of government.

Your Majesty was only

to take three spoonfuls.

When did three spoonfuls

of anything did any good?

Measure the medicine to the man.

Pulse?

- It's very, very fast.

- Good, good.

Your Majesty will probably

feel better after a warm bath

and its settling effect

on the spirit.

Well you have one. Your spirit's

more agitated than mine.

(King) Breathe this air,

Greville. Breathe it!

Come on, lads. Keep up!

This is the way we deal with

America. I'll teach you, sirs!

Take that, Mr Colonist!

And that, sir!

And that!

Fetch the queen.

No, no. That's not cricket.

Don't hold the bat like that.

(Queen) What is he doing?

Over there. Out of the way.

- Run!

- How's that?

Out!

- (All) Yay!

- Oh, good God!

Well done. Well done, lads.

The following day,

he rose before dawn,

went round to the provost

of Eton's lodgings,

and battering on the door,

roused the provost and commanded

him to show him the chapel!

So?

Lord Chancellor,

it was still dark.

Have we finished this catalogue

of regal nonconformities?

(Coughing)

Because I've heard nothing to

suggest His Majesty's behaviour

is in any way unusual.

He also harps on America...

the colonies.

Captain Fitzroy,

for the strongest reasons,

both foreign and domestic...

a degree of discretion.

And a hold on public functions.

No levees or concerts.

Just, uh...just... Hmm?

(Chancellor) The cork's too

tight in the bottle. That's it.

He must be the first king

not to have a mistress.

seem to me to indicate

a degree of conscientiousness

in that regard.

I'm talking of pleasure,

not duty.

Actually,

there was a mysterious illness

once before

in your father's time.

Government was at a standstill.

Well, it was of no consequence.

It was of no consequence

because he recovered.

It was of no consequence

because the Prince of Wales

was a child of three

and because Mr Fox

and his friends

were not perched in the rafters

waiting to come in.

We consider ourselves blessed

in our constitution.

We tell ourselves

our Parliament is the envy

of the world.

But we live in the health

and well-being of the sovereign

as much as any vizier

does the sultan.

The sultan orders it better.

He has his son

and heir strangled.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

- Cricket? Pa?

- How's that?

- What, what?

- Well played, hey, hey?

To watch it, sir, was quite

distasteful. He was not himself.

Warren, what do you think?

I'm not the king's doctor.

No, nor ever will be.

He's more likely to go

to my tailor than my doctor.

But, sir, this is not the same.

Could he be ill?

Um...

Yes.

Morning, sir.

(All) Morning, sir.

Ohh. Ah.

Sherry...

What would happen

if the king were ill,

hmm?

I mean, gravely ill.

Your Royal Highness would have

to be declared regent.

Regent?

King in all but name.

With all the powers.

Subject to Parliament.

Charles, don't quibble.

(Charles) And certainly...

all the funds.

(Laughter)

Ha ha ha ha.

Just think of it.

Regent!

Prime minister.

(Chuckling)

America forgiven.

London rebuilt.

Parliament could be reformed.

A palace on Primrose Hill.

The slave trade abolished.

Yeah! Yeah!

Oh, yes. All that, too.

(Charles) Sir...

Is he ill?

Well, he's not well.

(Chuckling)

(Laughter)

I know, I know.

One day.

One day.

(Clock chiming)

It's 4.00.

Where are you, sirs?

What is this?

The king is unattended.

Up with you, sirs!

Braun!

Fortnum!

Papandiek!

Where are you, sirs?

What's the matter, sir?

It is morning.

That is the matter.

Not being attended to

is the matter.

And don't mutter or mutter

will be the matter.

What time is it, sir?

What is that to you?

The King is up.

When the King is awake,

you're awake.

Six hours sleep

is enough for a man,

seven for a woman,

and eight for a fool.

We've had three.

We went to bed at 1.00.

Is that insolence, sir?

No, sir. Arithmetic.

Oh. What's your name?

Fortnum, sir.

Fetch me my breeches.

- Yours?

- You know my name, sir.

Don't tell me what do

and don't know. What is it?

Papandiek, sir. Arthur, sir.

Is it Arthur?

Yes, sir.

- And yours?

- Braun, sir.

- And yours?

- Fortnum, sir.

Well, come on, boys...

We're missing

the best of the day.

(King) Come on!

Run! Look at the weather!

(King) # Awake my soul

# And with the sun ... #

Please, sir!

# Shake off thy...

(All) # Shake off dull sloth

# And joyful rise

# To pay thy morning sacrifice #

Where's that rascal Braun?

He's not gone back to bed.

I'm here, sir.

Well, give me my shirt, man.

This is calico, a hair shirt.

Fetch me another.

Another shirt, a softer one!

Wake up, sir!

Attend, sir, attend!

Have you said your prayers

this morning?

I started, sir,

but I was interrupted.

Say after me...

- Our Father...

- Our Father...

- Which art in heaven...

- Which art...

- Hallowed be Thy name.

- Hallowed...

Thy kingdom come...

Thy will be done...

On earth

as it is in heaven...

On earth

as it is in heaven...

(Men continue praying)

Thy kingdom come...

Thy will be done...

Give us this day

our daily bread...

(Queen) Our Father

which art in heaven...

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