The Magic of Belle Isle Page #3

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as quickly as you can.

Thank you so much.

He's very excited about this.

Hi, nice to see you.

I didn't get a chance to say hello.

Oh, I didn't know you were here.

Hi. Welcome.

All right, people,

this is a sad and happy occasion.

Thanks for coming here.

Everybody please say hello

to Monte Wildhorn.

"'Jesus H. Christ."'

"According to our friend Karen Loop,

"that's how most people

around the lake reacted

"when they heard the news

of Don's passing.

"That's not such a bad obit.

"Concise. Even rather eloquent.

"Don would've approved.

"There are people in life you avoid,

"and others you go

out of your way to bump into.

"Don had that bump-into quality

about him,

"which is why nobody ever ducked

when they saw Don coming.

"He took beer very seriously.

"It had to be Pabst Blue Ribbon.

"If it couldn't be Pabst,

"it at least had to be cold.

"As good as Don was,

"I think he only got better

once he found the Belle.

"There just might be something special

about this place.

"It don't happen too often,

but sometimes

"we do bring out

the best in each other.

"We'll miss you, Don.

Watch over us."

Don't change a word.

The man at Dog Dave's writes stories

about cowboys in the Wild West.

He does?

Yeah... not about space aliens.

No aliens?

Mm-mm.

You know, you don't have

to go off this planet

to tell a good story.

Mama, when we get home,

can I work on my raft?

No, you promised

you'd clean your room.

Well, Jesus H. Christ!

Ms. O'Neil.

That is a most unbecoming

use of language.

Mr. Kaiser wrote it about Don.

You're not Mr. Kaiser.

Am I in trouble?

You most certainly are,

and your punishment

is to memorize three new words

and define them for me

by dinner Friday.

And I expect to be impressed.

You will be. I promise.

Hmm.

Who does your taxes?

I am currently

without an accountant, Mrs. Loop.

Karen.

I have aspired for years

to someday attain the poverty level.

Having recently achieved my goal,

I'm not in need

of such services just now.

I always get my clients a big refund.

You have a positive outlook

on life, Karen.

This is our place.

Thanks for walking us home.

You and the boy

on your own out here?

My old man took off

after Carl was born.

I'm sorry to hear that.

It's no great loss.

Well, if there's anything I can do.

Carl never gets any phone calls.

It would be nice for him

to get a phone call.

Here's my business card.

It's got our home number on it.

Telephone's a damn nuisance.

Ain't got no use for it.

And them people on cell phones

oughta be shot dead in the street.

Hey, Carl.

How'd you like to be

my faithful sidekick, Diego Santana?

Wanted for train robbery

in three territories.

I am?

Railroad Pinkertons

are hot on our trail, amigo.

How do I be Diego?

Well, for starters,

lose the bunny hop.

Yeah, I'm touched by your concern.

Thank God I'm still drinking.

Saves me the humiliation

of falling off the wagon.

I need three words.

Have we met?

Did I extend an invitation?

No.

I didn't think so.

You know a lot of good words

'cause you write stories.

I need three good ones

for my mom.

I lost all my good words

a long time ago.

What about imagination?

Should I use that one?

Last time I checked,

it was still available.

Can you teach me

to write stories?

You are awfully demanding.

All right, Spot.

Time for our morning dose.

There you go.

That's a good boy.

How come you give him aspirin?

Uh, it seems Spot has developed

some stiffness in his hindquarters.

And aspirin helps that.

I'm not exactly sure,

but long as he thinks it does,

that's half the battle, isn't it?

How come you don't

write on a computer?

I'm gonna answer your question

in return for blessed silence.

Look at that machine.

I like that you have to write

a bit slower on a manual.

I like the way it sounds.

I like the way the letters

bite into the paper.

I like that you can feel

there's a genuine human being

doing the work-- Hands off.

What's that?

Buckaroo. What's a Buckaroo?

It's an award for literary excellence.

"Western Authors Academy.

Best Western novel.

"'The Saga of Jubal McLaws.'

Presented to Monte Wildhorn. 1975."

Cool. Did you give

a speech when you won?

Yes, ma'am, I did.

Who'd you thank?

My one true love

and three bartenders.

How come you can't walk?

Who says I can't?

Why are you in a wheelchair?

Can you keep a secret?

Even if they torture me.

I'm attempting to defraud

the Liberty Mutual

insurance conglomerate

out of a million dollars.

What's defraud?

Cheat, snooker, fleece, bamboozle.

So you can walk?

I can run.

But I have to be careful.

If those Liberty Mutual boys

catch me

while I'm out for a quick jog,

it's all over.

I can kiss that million bucks

good-bye

and say hello

to Yuma State Prison.

You could go to jail?

Oh, yeah.

But what's jail?

As John Milton once said,

"The mind is its own place."

So what do those, uh,

Liberty Mutual boys look like?

Suits.

Suits, huh?

I'll make you a deal.

You teach me about imagination,

and I'll keep a lookout.

That might be asking too much.

I can pay you,

$34 and 18 cents in cash.

I saved it up.

And what exactly would

you want for your money?

I wanna know

where stories come from.

Ah...

you want a mentor.

A what?

You absolutely sure you want to set foot

into such a mysterious realm?

I'm sure.

You may get lost in there

and not be able to find

your way back.

You said I'm fearless.

That I did.

- So, we got a deal?

- My word is my bond.

Great.

So, when's my first lesson?

You just had it.

Huh?

I can't walk.

What do you mean?

I mean, I can't walk.

I just made up a story.

Really?

Really.

You're kind of a jerk.

Did you picture me running?

Yeah.

Did you see those men

in suits coming after me?

Yeah.

So did I.

That's imagination.

- But you--

- Class dismissed.

We'll have

another lesson tomorrow.

Okay.

I still think you're a jerk.

Fair enough.

"Jubal McLaws."

You got my last Wildhorn there.

It's gonna run you 35 cents.

It's discounted because

it's missing the last page.

Somebody tore it

right out of the book.

That's okay. I'll take it.

What would you say if we extend

a dinner invitation this evening

to our local author?

- Yes, Mama, please!

- Oh, God.

But he only eats worms, Mama.

Flora, Finn was just teasing you.

I think it would be good

for you ladies

to experience a literary man.

How do you expect that to happen?

He needs a ramp.

We're not exactly handicap-friendly.

I'll build it.

Thank you, Finn.

Let me know if I can help.

It's Dad.

Maybe he'd like

to come to dinner tonight.

I wanna talk.

After me. Hi, Dad.

When am I gonna see you?

Dad's coming the weekend

of Flora's birthday.

Tell Dad he has to finish my raft.

When's the weekend

of my birthday, Mama?

It's in August, baby.

- When's that?

- Soon.

Tell your father I'll call him back.

No, he wants to talk to you now.

Not while I'm driving.

Today, I will introduce

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