The Magic of Belle Isle Page #5

---

That's more than some.

Did they live happily ever after?

No.

He lost her to the influenza

in "Cattle Wars."

And he never fell in love after that?

How could he?

I think Jubal has

quite a hold on you.

Well, all the things I couldn't do

in the real world,

Jubal let me do on the page.

Good night, Mrs. O'Neil.

Thanks for the chicken dinner.

You owe me a toast, Mr. Wildhorn.

I'm good for it.

Your behavior tonight

was exemplary.

As a result, I'm going

to lift the ban on farting.

A captain born in Halifax

Who dwelt in country quarters

Seduced a maid

who hanged herself

One morning in her garters

Fetch.

Maybe it's the word "fetch"

that doesn't resonate.

Perhaps "retrieve" will stimulate

some long-dormant instinct.

Retrieve.

Retrieve.

It still just looks like a street.

You're holding back.

I'm not.

I can't do this.

It's not what I hear.

What?

Well, word about town

is that I'm known

to consider earthworm

something of a delicacy.

Where did--?

I have my sources.

But I didn't know you then.

You know, I was just--

Using your imagination.

Hello?

Hi. This is Monte Wildhorn.

Oh, hi, Monte?

Is your boy there?

The boy?

Oh. Oh. Hold on. Hold on.

Carl! It's the phone.

- The phone!

- What is it, Mom?

It's a phone call, for you.

It is? Who is it?

Well, find out.

This is Carl Loop.

Oh. I must have the wrong number.

I was looking for Diego Santana.

I'm Diego Santana.

All right, then.

Saddle up, amigo.

We're riding into town.

Mom, we're riding into town.

Do you always wear a white hat?

I wear a white hat, Diego,

so the folks can tell the good guys

from the bad guys

in case of gun play.

What's with the goggles?

Then no one knows I'm Carl.

Good thinking.

Now if you'll be kind enough

to slide the case of spirits

on to my lap,

this business will be concluded,

and we can catch up

on each other's personal lives.

I would be looking forward to it.

What happened to the Slim Jims?

What's your income

this year, Monte?

I estimate my gross income

at $34 and 18 cents.

A good portion of which

I've invested with Mahmoud.

Sometimes

I wanna pull my pants down.

Join the club.

You gonna drink all that?

I have every intention of doing so.

Why?

'Cause I'm a drunk,

and that's what we do.

Get drunk enough,

you'll cry over anything.

Real tears are a useful way

of getting to a place.

What place?

Anywhere you need to go.

Now look out there and tell me

what's not there,

and make me interested.

I see...

I see...

a girl walking by the lake.

How old is she?

What does she look like?

What is she wearing?

She's ten years old,

and she's got a ponytail.

What's she doing?

She's looking behind her.

Why?

'Cause there's a man following her.

So what does she do?

She starts running.

He chases her.

Does he catch her?

No. She gets away.

How?

She runs to her neighbor,

Al Kaiser's house

and disappears around the back.

When the bad guy gets there,

all he sees is one

of her sneakers lying in front

of an open door that leads

down to the cellar.

When the bad guys goes down

the stairs to grab her,

she jumps out

from behind the big oak tree

where she's been hiding and lifts

that heavy door off the ground

and closes it on top of him,

and before he can escape,

she grabs the rake

Al Kaiser keeps by the door

and slides it through the handles,

which traps the bad guy

until the cops come

to take him away.

Congratulations.

You just made up your first story.

I know, 'cause Carl Loop and me,

we always used to hide there

when we didn't want our mothers

to know where we were.

Good instincts.

You draw

from your own experiences.

Now what?

You work me too hard.

Class dismissed.

Okay. See ya.

Hey, Mom, Mom!

I wrote a story!

I wrote a story!

I'm one hell of a mentor.

Monte, you know

that dancehall gal, Miss Gussy?

The one that runs

the saloon in all your books?

I do.

I'm surprised she and Jubal

never got together.

Tell you the truth,

I was surprised too.

But then, who among us

truly knows the ways of love?

You got that right, sir.

- Mama.

- Yes?

I don't wanna paint anymore.

Okay, birthday girl.

What do you wanna do?

I wanna go jump

Go jump

However, we cannot leave

Mr. Wildhorn half done.

Thank you.

Listen, lady, I gotta be

outta here by 3:
00.

It was my understanding

I had you for the entire day.

Yeah, well, I got a 4:00

on the other side of the lake.

Mama, look what I made for Flora.

I'm testing it for her.

Oh, okay. Take it easy with that.

Be careful with that, Finn, okay?

I don't wanna see

any one-eyed daughters.

Okay.

Oh, excuse me.

Jack, where are you?

It started over an hour ago.

All right, hang on.

Hey, Flora. Hey, honey.

It's Daddy for you.

Yay.

He's not coming.

I don't know why I'm always surprised.

I just...

I guess I keep hoping

for the sake of the girls.

Daddy's not coming.

Oh, hey, baby girl, let's go jump.

I don't wanna jump.

Dad said it would be okay

if I came up to stay with him.

Willow,

we are not doing this again.

There's nothing for me to do here.

All my friends are in the city.

You know,

he can't even show up

for his own daughter's birthday party.

Maybe he just didn't

want to see you.

That's enough.

Why don't I just go and talk

to Flora for a minute?

Okay.

I'm looking for the birthday girl.

You know where I can find her?

I'm the birthday girl.

Oh, good.

'Cause I got something for you.

What is it?

It's your birthday present.

I think it's here. Where'd I put it?

Ah, there it is.

Happy birthday.

What is it?

It's a story.

About what?

About an elephant named Tony.

Well, he said he was a friend of yours,

and he asked me

to write it down for him.

Is Tony a real elephant?

Yes, ma'am, he sure is.

Thank you so much!

Mom! Look what I got!

Man, that is one hot lady.

If she was my woman,

I'd never let her leave the bed.

You know what I'm talking about.

Time to go to work.

Hey, you like magic tricks?

I'll do one for ya.

Can you make yourself

disappear, Mr. Clown?

Don't call me "Mr. Clown."

I happen to be The Amazing Ted.

Whatever you say, Mr. Clown.

A**hole.

You got my name right.

It's magic time!

Hey! Come on, kids.

Gather 'round.

Magic time!

Pay close attention,

because at no point

do my hands ever leave my arms.

Huh?

Now who here likes rabbits?

I do!

It slipped.

Son of a b*tch!

Hey! Hey!

You spoiled little brat!

Hey! That castle's

how I make my living.

- Jesus Christ!

- Help, Mom!

Everybody get away from there

before you make it worse!

Somebody get

that fat kid outta there!

What the hell's he doing

in there in the first place?

It's for little kids.

He weighs, like, 900 pounds!

Let me tell you something.

You haven't heard the last of this.

I got stuck.

You don't think

clowns have lawyers?

You better think again,

'cause you're about to be

hearing from my lawyer.

Reach for the sky, you mud-sucking

yellow sidewinder.

All right, Jesus.

Easy, man. Sh*t, don't shoot.

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes