The Maiden Heist Page #5

Synopsis: Three middle-age guards learn that their museum has sold a wing of art to a Danish museum. Each has a favorite in that collection, and none can imagine life without the peace and completion it brings. Though mere acquaintances, they plot a theft of the three pieces between the time they are packed and the time they're loaded onto a plane. First each must obtain a forgery; then, they have to smuggle the forgeries into the museum and find a way to make the switches. The heist is complicated by Roger's intrusive wife - he's promised her a trip to Florida for their anniversary - and George's proclivity for taking his clothes off when standing in front of the warrior statue he loves.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Peter Hewitt
Production: Yari Film Group
 
IMDB:
6.1
PG-13
Year:
2009
90 min
£481,378
Website
307 Views


What`s going on?

I`m trying to concentrate down here.

-And why aren`t you calling me Red Dragon?

-l`m sorry. Red Dragon.

We have a Code 3.

Code 3? No, no, no.

That guard isn`t due for another 12 minutes!

I know it! I know! I am looking right at him!

-lt`s a definite Code 3!

-Oh, my God! Where is he?

Sector 3, north hallway!

Hurry, George, hurry!

He`ll be there in a minute!

Charles, George, what`s happening?

It`s the patrol guard. He`s come back early.

-What guy? The big guy with the hair?

-That new guy.

He`s really mean!

George, he`s in the northeast gallery now.

Hurry up, George!

He`s on his way down, George.

George, he`s getting into the elevator!

George, where are you?

He`s coming your way! He`s off the elevator!

He`s coming your way!

Hurry! Hurry!

He`s 20 feet away, George! He`s 20 feet away!

Hide, George! Hide! Hide! Hide!

George, are you there? George?

George?

Yeah, I`m still here.

Everything`s okay. He didn`t see me.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Okay, Dragons, that`s it.

I`ll see you tomorrow morning.

-And Yellow Dragon?

-Yes, George?

Don`t be late.

Don`t worry, George. I won`t.

-Good night, Roger.

-Good night, Charles.

Back, back, back, back, back. A little more.

-Hey, Roger.

-Bob.

Sir.

I just want to keep on top of this guy...

Red Dragon, Red Dragon.

Come in, Red Dragon.

Blue Dragon, what are you doing? We`re

supposed to suspend communications.

It`s too risky. Someone could hear you.

Listen to me. We have a problem.

I don`t know which crate you`re in.

They took the inventory list,

and all the crates look the same.

Relax, Blue Dragon, there`s nothing

to worry about. I noticed it last night.

What`s your current position?

North end of the storeroom.

I`m looking at the crates right now.

Good. I`m facing north.

You`re looking right at me.

There`s a row of four crates,

and then a second row of four crates.

I`m in the first row, third box from the left.

Okay, okay, third box from the left. I got you.

Not horses! Oh, dear.

Hey, that looks like B-07.

Right here.

-You sure you got it?

-I got it.

-Barlow, what do you got there?

-Special collection, sir.

Van 3, Barlow. Van 3.

Oh, no. Come on, horsey.

Giddyup. Giddyup!

Hey, Mr. Barlow!

Ain`t you supposed to be on vacation?

That got changed.

-You need some help?

-No. I`m good, thank you. Fine.

-Hey, Carlos!

-No, l`m good.

How about giving my man a hand over here?

Everything`s fine.

-We got it, Mr. Barlow. Don`t worry about it.

-See you later, Donny.

-What?

-l`m good. See you later, Donny.

-Keep it real, Mr. Barlow.

-You know it.

-What took you so long?

-I couldn`t help it. Traffic.

Roger, this looks awfully heavy.

Can we get some help?

No help. We have to do this ourselves.

All we have to do is push.

On the count of three. One, two, three, push.

In you go!

-Let`s get out of here!

-Okay.

This is Renoir.

He likes to ride in the car sometimes.

-Stay behind them.

-Okay.

Sorry about banging you

around like that, George.

I didn`t know

how else to get you into the van.

-ls that you, Blue Dragon?

-lt`s me. Yellow Dragon`s here, too.

Hi, Red Dragon.

Forget the code names, gentlemen.

We did it. We beat them.

We took everything they had to throw at us

and we threw it right back at them.

I`m really proud to have served

with you men. Semper fi.

Semper fi.

-lt does feel pretty good, doesn`t it, Roger?

-You know, it does. It really does.

-You can get out now, George. What?

-I am out.

Look! Look!

Guys! Guys! Get me out...

Get me out of here!

Get me out of here! Guys! Guys!

-Guys! Wait, wait! Where are you going?

-Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

Don`t leave me! You`re leaving me!

-Where are you going, guys?

-George, get back in the crate.

Get back in the crate!

How could this have happened?

I thought we had it all worked out!

I don`t know. George, quick question.

When we were back at the warehouse

and you said third crate from the left,

-was that your left or my left?

-My left! My left! Why would it be your left?

-Because it`s my left.

-Oh, my God! This is a disaster!

This is a disaster! The mission`s in jeopardy!

We don`t have a battle plan!

Don`t panic! If you panic, l`ll panic.

This is a soldier`s worst nightmare,

gentlemen!

Chaos!

Calm down, George,

we`re gonna get you out of there.

We just have to make one quick stop first.

-Stop?

-A stop?

-We have to stop at my house.

-A stop? What are you talking about?

You can`t leave me here! I`m down

behind enemy lines! They`ll make me talk!

-I don`t think I can take torture, guys.

-l`m sorry about this.

-l`ll only be a minute.

-I`m sorry,

but I`m not the man you think I am.

-Keep him company. Make sure...

-What are we going to do?

-...he doesn`t panic.

-I think he`s already panicked.

Good point. Make sure he stays in the crate.

-Okay, thanks.

-You gotta get me out of here!

-Hi, it`s me, Charles.

-Charles? Where`s Roger?

-Well, he had to go and get his wife.

-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

I don`t understand.

What`s his wife have to do with this?

I thought I told him to stand up to her!

Rose? Where are you, Rose?

I`m in the bedroom, Roger.

Where do you think I am?

-I can`t stand it when you`re late.

-What? You`re not packed yet?

You were supposed to be here

a half an hour ago.

I know, I got hung up at work.

But, look, we have to go right now,

l`m telling you. Get your things.

-Roger, wait a minute.

-ls this everything?

No, it`s not... Wait. Roger, don`t zip it.

-l`m not finished.

-l`m zipping!

Roger, what is going on? Why...

Roger, you`re making me very nervous.

Why are you acting like this?

I`m not... Acting like what?

I can`t wait to get going.

Is there something wrong with that?

Well, how are we getting to the airport?

-I have a friend to drive us.

-A friend?

-What friend, Roger? Here.

-He`s somebody I work with.

He`s got a van he likes to drive.

Beyond that, it gets complicated,

but he`s waiting downstairs,

so can we go now, please?

-Roger, you`re acting very strange.

-l`m not strange. You`re strange.

-Come on!

-Roger, wait!

What?

Say ``beach.``

Okay, take the picture. Take the...

-Please, take the picture!

-All right, all right, all right!

Roger, do you have some sort of surprise

planned for me?

Yes, that`s a good way to put it. Let`s go.

Roger, Roger! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Are you sure you want to go to Florida

dressed like that?

I`m not panicked.

I`m a little panicked, but... God!

We`re gonna get you out, George.

Don`t worry.

What would you do? I have to think like you.

What would you do?

You gotta get me out of here! Oh, no!

Sorry, I gotta go, George. Bye.

-No, Charles, don`t...

-Over.

I`m going, Roger, l`m going! All right.

Roger, careful!

-Roger!

-Everything`s fine.

-I want you to meet Charles. My wife, Rose.

-Hello.

It`s a pleasure to meet you.

Roger said that you volunteered to take us

to the airport. That`s very nice of you.

-Well, I think the plan is...

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Michael LeSieur

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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