The Man

Hello, Detroit.

What a pleasure

to be here.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we in the exciting field

of dental supply sales

are here in the Motor City

for a reason...

to provide quality,

precision tools

to professionals

who demand the very best.

Thank you.

Whoa-ho-ho,

thank you very much.

Please be seated.

Oh.

I was just

going over my speech.

You've been going

over it for two weeks.

Honey, you know your speech.

I know your speech.

- The kids know it.

- It's a big one, Susan.

It's a speech for every sales rep

in the Northeast United States.

It is a big one.

You've done very well

for yourself, Andy Fiddler.

Now get dressed.

Your plane leaves at 7:00.

You know, Detroit's

quite a sports town, honey.

Maybe I'll bring you

back a Piston.

Do me a favor.

Just bring yourself back.

Detroit ain't Wisconsin.

# One, two,

three, four #

# I... yeah, yeah #

# I... yeah, yeah #

# Rah rah rah rah #

# I... yeah, yeah #

# I just want to celebrate

another day of living #

# I just want to celebrate #

# Another day of life #

# Put my faith

in the people #

# But the people

let me down #

# So I turn the other way

and I carry on anyhow #

# That's why I'm telling you I just

wanna celebrate #

# Yeah, yeah,

another day of living #

# Yeah, I just want

to celebrate #

# Another day of life #

# Had my hand

on a dollar bill #

# And the dollar bill

blew away #

# But the sun is shining down

on me, and it's here to stay #

# That's why I'm telling you

I just want to celebrate #

# Yeah, yeah,

another day of living #

# Yeah, I just want

to celebrate... #

- Dude! Hold up!

- # Another day of living #

# I just want to celebrate #

# Another day of life #

# Don't let it all

get you down, no no... #

60 AR-15s,

30 M-4s, 6,000 rounds

of 5-5-6 ammunition

and three dozen

M-16s, all of it stolen from the vault

in this building.

But that's not why I rolled you

out of bed at 5:
00 a.m., Agent Vann.

You wanna tell me how your partner

winds up a speed bump

on the 94 Freeway?

I'll tell you how.

Your partner was

the inside man on the job.

Once they had the guns,

he became a loose end.

I'm gonna tell you

something else,

something I've learned in 20 years

with Internal Affairs...

if a cop's dirty, nine times out of 10,

his partner's dirty too.

Wouldn't surprise me

if you were the one who popped him.

You got a bug up

your ass about me?

Well, let's get it out

right now, right here, you and me.

No, huh?

So step off,

stop wasting my time.

You don't seem too upset

about your partner.

You want to charge me with not being

upset, go right ahead. Be my guest.

Hell, I'll write a full confession

about how I don't give a sh*t.

If he was dirty,

he got what he deserved.

I'm not finished

with you.

Well, I'm finished with you,

and let me tell you

what I learned

in all my years on the job...

Don't trust anyone.

That includes partners

and especially

Internal Affairs skid marks.

I'll be seeing you, Vann.

I tried to keep

I.A. Off your back.

Booty. Mmm,

don't get into this.

I'm already into this.

You know those weapons

will be out of the city within 24 hours.

Yeah, well, you can't

set up a buy in 24 hours.

- Watch me.

- Vann, nothing stupid.

Yes, Lieutenant.

Bye-bye, enjoy your stay.

Bye, hope you had a nice flight.

I had a wonderful flight, and I'm

wondering if you can do me a favor.

I was talking to one

of the stewardesses back there,

and we were discussing tongue scrapers.

I found one in my bag.

I'm wondering

if you can pass this along.

- I'm a dental supply salesman.

- Yes, I will.

Sir, you might

have to step aside.

Just tell her it's

daily tongue-scraping

and anti-bacterial

conditioning

which will assure her

the freshest breath.

See this right here?

This is a nickel-plated Ladysmith

nine Mary-Mary chrome inlay. Go on,

- feel that.

- It's got a nice weight to it.

- Yeah, so do you, baby.

- What?

- Oh, sh*t!

- Oh, hold up... that's a cop car!

Get your ass off my car, Booty!

Come on!

Your ass is still

on my car, Booty!

Run faster, Booty!

Pump those arms! Get those knees up!

- Your form is all jacked up, dawg!

- What you want, man?

- I want to buy some guns!

- I don't know

- what you're talking about!

- I'm talking about a telephone pole.

What?

Why do we have

to do this every time?

It's these repetitive ass-whippings

that cause guys like me

- to burn out on the job.

- Du... ah-ha... ah!

Somebody wiped out

our vault last night. Who was it?

- How the hell should I know?

- I'm gonna check the front of my car.

If it smells like ass, I'm gonna

beat you like a runaway slave.

No no, all right,

all right, all right.

- All right what?

- Maybe I heard something.

Tell me what you heard.

Something about a lot

of merchandise in play. That's all.

Ooh. You know

how I can tell you're lying?

I can smell the bullshit

coming out of your mouth.

No, all right!

Maybe I know one of the guys, huh?

Well, hook me up.

Tell him you found a buyer.

Oh, man, he already got

a buyer. You're too late.

Tell him I'll double his price.

I can get 20 grand cash right now.

20 grand? Man, that'll only

get you a taste, dawg.

A taste is all I need.

Hook me up. Now.

- $38.50.

- That was very nice drive in, Mr., uh...

- is it Bedwetter?

- Bedwe-teer.

I see you're from

Turkey, Mr. Budweeder.

I've got $20, $40.

There you go. Keep the change.

I was in Turkey

recently, uh...

Santos,

what's cracking, dawg?

- Yo, I need 20 grand.

- Yeah, don't we all?

I need that in non-sequential

unmarked bills, and I'm in a hurry.

I'm not your

personal ATM, man.

Come on, Santos.

You know you're gonna give it up,

so cut the bullshit.

Hey, I don't have that kind

of cash down here right now.

Nuh-uh. See? You're lying. Now

I personally logged a million in cash

into that vault

right over there just last month

on a case we both

know hasn't gone to trial yet,

so you're still holding.

What happened

between us, Santos?

Where the love, dawg?

You realize it's my ass

if you come up short again.

It's just flash money.

I'll have it back this afternoon.

Come on, now go

and get that.

I'll have the paperwork

done by the time you get back.

All right, but I need

that money back here by 4:00.

You can trust me, man.

Come on now.

I'm in a hurry. Chop-chop.

Work that combination, baby.

Look, man, they'll give you a taste,

then they'll tell you

where to bring the money.

They don't want the goods and the cash

- in the same spot.

- Booty, I do this for a living.

Look, I don't know these guys.

They're from out of town.

What do you know, Booty?

This is the place, man.

He'll give you a gun and a phone now

and call you later

for the money.

Take the corner seat

at the counter

and be carrying a "USA Today."

A "USA Today," the newspaper.

Look, man, I did what

you asked me to do. I'm done with this.

You better hurry up, man.

By this time tomorrow,

the guns will be gone.

- You want a taste?

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