The Man Page #5

- Is that all he said?

- No. No, there was something else.

- What did he say? What did he say?

- You're not gonna like it.

- You're gonna get mad.

- Tell me what he said.

- He wants me to bring money. A lot.

- How much? How much?

- Look, I'm just the messenger.

- How much money?

- Half a million dollars.

- What?

- I know. It was a heart-thumper.

- Sh*t!

- Where we going?

- My ATM.

- Yo, Santos.

- Thank God.

I need that

20 grand back.

I.A. Wants to look

at my books.

I need some more.

Are you out of your mind?

You think there's any way in hell

I'm gonna give you

another $20,000?

I need a half mil.

It's just show and tell.

I'll have it back in an hour.

Go away.

Santos, open up.

I got something to tell you.

- What?

- Open up and I'll tell you.

What?

Look, here's the thing.

You give me the half mil, I bust

the bad guys and make this right.

You don't, you lose

the 20 grand,

and you take a sh*t bath

for coming up short.

At least this way, you do what I ask,

you got a shot.

Why you doing this

to me?

You trusted me.

Come on.

- I'm hungry.

- You'll live.

No, no, no.

L... l... I'm really hungry.

- Come on, man.

- No, my blood sugar is low,

and I'm feeling faint.

I haven't eaten all day.

- I would like some food.

- Okay, I'll get you a burger.

- I would rather have something else.

- It's a tasty burger.

Red meat...

quite often

doesn't agree with me.

Am I gonna make it

to my speech tomorrow morning?

I don't know, man.

That ain't a priority to me.

You know what?

You're not

a very nice person.

You don't care about anyone,

you don't trust anyone.

Trust can

get you dead.

"Trust can

get you dead."

Well, there's not

one person

- in this world that you trust?

- Nope.

- Your mother?

- Oh, hell, no.

How can you not

trust your mother?

- She could be playing me.

- How can a person

go through life

like that?

Hey, at least

I'm honest about it.

What, you trust

everybody you meet?

I give everybody

the benefit of the doubt, yes.

And what happens

when they screw you over?

Who's gonna screw me over?

What, do you think people are

just waiting to screw people over?

You think the world

is one big screw-over?

I couldn't live my life like that.

I never met anyone

I wasn't friends

with eventually.

Well, I never met anyone whose ass

I didn't kick eventually.

Well, you must

be very proud.

Guns and shooting

and kicking ass.

You know, problems can be

solved without ever touching a gun.

Situation:
You're walking

down the street with your wife,

a guy comes up out of nowhere,

grabs you from behind,

puts a gun to your wife's head.

What do you do?

- Bite him.

- Bite him?

Do you have any idea

how powerful the human bite is?

The masseter muscles

in the jaw

can exert 600 pounds

of pressure per inch,

and I'm not even

discussing bacteria.

Masseter muscles?

- It's Latin.

- It's bullshit.

Come on, finish this sh*t.

Let's go.

You can afford this,

right?

You all right?

I told you I have

a problem with red meat.

You've gotta admit that was

a good burger, though, right?

You sure

you're all right?

Yeah, it doesn't

last long.

Oh! Oh oh, damn!

Let the window down!

Oh, it's just a little flatulence.

Oh, "a little flatulence"?

An elephant could

take a sh*t in the back seat,

- and it wouldn't smell that bad.

- Can we just let it go?

Oh oh!

Oh, man!

Oh!

Oh!

All right,

let's do this.

This is real simple.

Show 'em the cash,

get a time and a place,

and you're back at the hotel giving

your speech tomorrow.

Uh, quick question.

Uh, you can't just go in there

and arrest him

because why?

I want his boss

and the guns in the same place

at the same time.

That's what this dance is all about.

Here, now go.

Remember, this is

strictly flash cash.

Show it to him,

close the bag, bring it back.

Now what if something

goes wrong?

- Nothing will go wrong.

- Yeah, but what if it does?

- Nothing will go wrong.

- Uh, yeah, but what if it does?

What if something goes wrong

and the deal doesn't happen?

I'm gonna be doing this

for the rest of my life!

Nothing will go wrong.

Hey, remember...

time and a place.

A time and a place.

Oh! Son of a b*tch!

Hello.

- Ah! Excuse me.

- Hey, just checking for a wire, mate.

- Okay.

- Oh, you're good.

- Well?

- Yes.

- Born lucky. Yeah, am I good?

- Okay.

Oh, I would think.

I would think. Okay.

Great.

Good.

Now...

all we need is

a time and a place,

and we have

ourselves a deal.

And we have ourselves

a little problem.

What?

Nobody...

nobody comes up

with half a million

dollars in cash in an hour.

So you tell me...

who are you?

- I'm a businessman.

- Businessman, right.

And what kind of business

is that exactly?

What business?

I provide quality

precision tools

to professionals

who demand the very best.

Period.

Now are we

gonna do business?

Look, Turk.

I need to speak

to my boss.

Well, why am I talking

to you, Joey?

How do you

know my name?

Because...

I know your name.

L... I know names.

Let's just say

I was born lucky, okay?

You're lucky, huh?

And another thing,

from now on I only talk to Kane.

Look, Turk, you know,

l... I can't just go and tell Kane

he should walk away

from a deal he already has in place

just 'cause some guy

that he doesn't know

flashes some cash at me.

You understand?

Keep the money.

I don't care about the money.

You think I care about the money?

Don't care about it.

I can get money.

Just consider that a good faith deposit.

And you tell Kane

there's a lot more where that came from,

but only if he stops

wasting my time.

Oh, one more thing.

From now on...

I call you.

- Comprende?

- Comprende.

Excuse me.

- Where's the money?

- I gave it to him.

I told him I'd call him

with a time and a place,

and I walked out!

You should have seen it!

You gave a half million dollars

in cash

- to some gun-running killers?

- Correct.

Goddamn you!

A**hole!

Son of a b*tch!

I've never seen anyone

that pissed off before.

- Okay.

- God damn it!

You said nothing unexpected

would happen, and guess what...

something unexpected

happened!

What's to stop them

from taking my money and running?!

Because they know they'd be giving up

a lot more where that came from.

He was about to walk.

I had to change the game plan,

- so I'm... I'm now calling the shots.

- Oh, so you in charge now?

- I am indeed.

- You the Man!

Yes. I am the Man.

Well, what are we

supposed to do now, Man?

Well, I think we just

let them stew for awhile.

You know what I mean?

And then we call them

- in, you know, a couple of hours.

- Well, what do we do

in the meantime, man?

We go

to your daughter's recital.

Oh no.

- Daddy!

- Hey, star.

I knew you'd come.

Thanks for reminding me

about tonight.

That's the first time

I've heard you say thank you

in a long time.

- I'm sorry.

- "Thank you" and "I'm sorry"?

I think your new partner

is a good influence.

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