The Man from Earth

---

Hey, buddy.

You don't waste time, do you?

I try not to.

Well, you need help?

Sure.

Would you like to tell us...

what the hell that was all about?

I don't like good-byes.

Kind of the point of

a goodbye party, John.

Went to a certain amount

of trouble, you know?

Could've at least stayed

a few minutes, huh?

Eaten some of the food

we so feverishly prepared?

I apologize, Harry.

But why are you moving so quickly?

You only resigned a couple of days ago.

You got the history chair at Stanford.

I wish.

Well, taquitos, chicken wings,

Roastie-toasties and beer.

If we'd had more time,

We'd have done something

a little more grandiose.

Candlelight dinner at Mcdonald's.

Strippers.

Taquitos are fine.

A'right.

Art's gonna be along, too.

He's, uh, talking to a student. Pfft.

Is George taking over for you?

George or Trimbell - Has

the Dean made up his mind?

He hasn't called.

My god!

Wh-What is this?

It looks like a Van Gogh,

But I've never seen it before.

Is that an original, John?

No, it's just a gift someone gave me.

Still, it's a superb copy.

Contemporaneous, I think,

May I take a closer look?

Please, yeah.

Yeah, it's the same

stretcher as Van Gogh used.

Yeah, there's writing

on the back in french.

Oh, "To my friend Jacque Borne."

Wonder who that was?

Someone he knew, I guess.

Brilliant deduction, sherlock.

Surely you'll have this

looked at, appraised?

Well, maybe sometime,

But I wouldn't really want money for it.

That does it.

Put that stuff in the kitchen.

No, I'm gonna put it

in the bathroom, John.

Gas is off, electricity's on.

Get comfortable while you can.

The furniture's going this afternoon.

It's been years since I sat on a floor.

Heh. I can't remember her name.

Eh, it's good for the back.

Can we do yoga exercises?

Tantric yoga, we can.

( Chuckles )

So you're leaving good old "We teach you"?

Rather suddenly, you must admit.

Truth time, John.

Is there a problem?

No.

Oh, come on, you know we wanna help.

That's appreciated,

but really--

There's no problem.

Well, now I am curious.

Where are you going?

Givin' up tenure...

a decade of professorship,

In line to chair the department,

And you don't know where you're going?

Call it cabin fever.

After a while, I get itchy feet.

I've done this before.

No, no, no, you're too young

to have done this before.

And he hasn't aged a day in ten years.

Every woman on the faculty

Would give anything to have that secret.

Is that what they're after, Edith?

Oh, stop, Harry.

( Giggles )

Wow, can you pull this?

What the hell?

What do you hunt?

Deer, mostly.

Around big bear.

With a bow and arrow?

Most people can't bag a deer

With a rifle and a telescopic sight.

Though, good eatin'.

The best wild game.

Lives naturally, eats naturally.

Well, it's beautiful.

( Motor hums )

Art.

Ah.

So, can I get an "a" for awesome?

Oh, my gosh.

( Chuckles )

That was fun.

Hey, John.

You know Linda. You

had her last semester.

Hi. Hey.

She's one of my victims

now. I'm taking her home.

She wanted to come by

and say hello goodbye.

Is Art as tough as I hear?

Oh, archaeology's tough.

Dr. Jenkins is a fine teacher.

Oh, that's very politic.

It's very true. Uh-huh.

Something for you to

read on the road, pal.

"Shadows of the cave:

parallels to early man."

Author:
M. Jenkins.

Publish or perish.

I'd rather read

Than write another one.

Thank you.

Hi.

Oh, everybody, this is Linda.

Linda, this is everybody.

Linda. Hi.

So.

Where you going, John,

like we give a damn?

We've already covered that.

John's got itchy feet.

There are over-the-counter

remedies for that, John.

( Laughs )

So there is a problem.

No.

I just like to move on now and then.

It's a personal thing.

Well, not to pry.

I'm sorry I don't

have more to offer you.

Got conversation, some

seats for your behinds,

And, uh...

Is he ducking out on us again?

...I do have this.

Oh ho ho! Johnny Walker Green!

( Laughs ) didn't even

know they made it in green.

What do they pay you?

Nothing is too good for my friends.

But I'm sorry-- We are

down to plastic cups now.

That's a sacrilege I'll tolerate.

I will do the honors.

Oh, come to papa.

Ooh! Here, cups, cups.

There we go.

Step on in here.

There ya go...

one for the birthday

boy-- Excuse me. Art?

No, not for me.

Oh, no, I don't drink.

( Laughs ) we're not

gonna card you, darling.

All right, here, join

the circle at least.

Well, to long life and good fortune

To our esteemed friend

And colleague, John Oldman.

May he find undeserved bliss

Wherever he goes.

Here, here.

Skael. Na zdorovye.

One off the top, John.

Mm! Oh, that's good.

Excuse me.

John, we're all sorry to see you go.

Truly.

Okay. Now we're done with that,

What do we do for the

rest of the afternoon?

Anyone got a good topic?

Like this, maybe? Heh.

What is that?

It's a burin of a parrot beak.

Inclined chisel point...

probably early magdalenian.

May I see that? Sure.

Yes indeed, that's what it is.

What's a burin?

A burin is a flint tool

For grooving wood and

bone, antlers especially,

To make spear and harpoon points.

Magdalenians weren't

noted for flint work,

So this is a very nice specimen.

Okay, what's a magdalenian?

A later Cro-magnon,

Without gettin' technical.

It's the final culture

of the upper paleolithic.

If stones could speak, eh, Art?

So where'd you get that, John?

Believe it or not, from

a thrift shop-- A quarter.

You lucky dog!

I gotta go digging

for this kind of stuff.

Can I, uh...?

Yeah.

Huh.

Maybe...

I'm glad you did this.

Did what? You mean come over?

Maybe?

Definitely.

Gee, thanks.

Well, so are we.

So are we.

We couldn't let you just run off.

Thanks.

John, what is up, huh?

Are you on america's most wanted?

We won't turn you in.

Yeah, come on, out with it.

You're among friends.

Snoopy friends.

Forget it.

You are creating the mystery here.

Obviously, you have something

you'd like to say. Say it!

Well, maybe I...

ten, nine, eight, seven...

Harry, stop.

There is something I'm

tempted to tell you, I think.

I've never done this before,

and I wonder how it'll pan out.

( Harry chuckles )

I wonder if I could ask

you a silly question.

John, we're teachers.

We answer silly questions all the time.

Hey!

What if a man from the upper paleolithic

Survived until the present day?

What do you mean, survived?

Never died?

Yes. What would he be like?

Well, I know some guys.

You ever been to the ozarks?

It's an interesting idea.

What, are you working on

a science fiction story?

Say I am. What would he be like?

Pretty tired.

( Laughter )

Well, seriously,

As Art's book title suggests,

He might be like any of us.

Dan. A caveman?

Well, there's no anatomical difference

Between, say, a Cro-magnon and us.

Except that as a rule,

we've grown taller.

What's the selective

advantage of height?

Better to see predators

in tall grass, my dear.

Actually, tall and skinny

Radiates heat more

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