The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance Page #3

A smart girl like you? Of course

you can. Do you want to try?

lt's awful worrisome not knowing how.

l know the Bible from preacher talk,

but it'd be a soul comfort

to read it myself.

l'll teach you how. ln no time,

you'll be reading everything.

Hallie, can l have

just one more steak?

One steak on the cuff!

All right, all right.

Excuse me.

- Nora, did you hear the news?

- No.

- Rance'll learn me to read.

- ''Teach me to read.''

Teach me to read.

l cannot say my ABC in Swedish.

Maybe you can teach me in English.

Sure, Nora.

You'll be my second pupil.

Hal's my first. You'll be my second.

Peter, you hear that? Peter!

Well, pilgrim, l see you're still

protecting the ladies.

Tom, look at you.

You're all dressed up.

- lt's Saturday night.

- Don't you look handsome?

l brought you a little present.

Prettiest cactus rose

l ever did see.

lt's a beauty. Look at it, Nora.

- Should look nice in your garden.

- But it should go in now...

- l'll be pleased to plant that.

- Thank you, Pompey.

The Hash outfit just arrived.

Burn eight.

- Not too close to the ocotillo bush.

- Yes, ma'am.

''Ransom Stoddard, Attorney at Law.''

You're a persistent cuss, pilgrim.

You really aim to hang that up

outside?

- That's why l painted it.

- Take some advice, pilgrim.

You put that thing up,

you'll have to defend it with a gun,

and you ain't exactly the type.

Comin' up.

Thank you.

A girl needs six hands on Saturday

night, and it's so hot. Look at me.

Any more colour and you'd be

prettier than that cactus rose.

Tom, that's mighty flattering.

Burn me a good, thick one, Pete,

meat and potatoes.

- Hello, Kaintuck.

- Evening, Tom.

- Tom.

- Object to company, Mr Peabody?

Not to yours, Tom.

Sit down, sit down.

l suppose you know

who's across the street?

Yeah. l hear he sent word on ahead.

He won't like what the town's been

saying about him and that hold-up.

How about you, Kaintuck?

- l'd like a st...

- Steak?

- Yes, ma'am.

- Well-burnt.

- And d-d-dee...

- Deep-dish apple pie.

- Yeah.

- Coming up.

Mighty nice girl,

that Hallie. Mighty pretty.

l agree with you, sir.

Just told her so.

What? Do l hear wedding bells?

When can l print the story?

Don't rush me,

Mr Editor. Don't rush me.

There's your cactus rose.

Sure is pretty.

Thank you, Pompey. lt is pretty.

Go and get supper.

Thank you, ma'am.

Look at that. lsn't that

the prettiest thing you ever saw?

Very pretty.

- Did you ever see a real rose?

- No.

But someday if they dam the river,

we'll have water

and all kinds of flowers.

When you finish the dishes,

will you help wait tables?

- Sure.

- Washing dishes is enough for him.

- A man waiting on tables?!

- No, l'd be glad to help.

- Be glad to.

- l thought we was busy.

These steaks look done

just right for us.

You cowhands ain't in no hurry

to eat, are you?

Well, l am!

l guess we could do

with another drink.

That's right neighbourly

of you, partner.

Especially after all the lies

l hear folks been saying

about Liberty Valance.

Wait a minute!

One of Mamma's pies for Tom.

Lookee at the new waitress.

That's my steak, Valance.

You heard him, dude. Pick it up.

- No!

- Pilgrim, hold it.

l said you, Valance. You pick it up.

- Three against one, Doniphon.

- My boy Pompey in the kitchen door.

l'll get it, Liberty.

l said you, Liberty. You pick it up.

What's the matter?

Everybody here kill-crazy? Here!

There! There!

Now, it's picked up!

Why don't you get yourself

a fresh steak on me?

Show's over for now.

Try it, Liberty. Just try it.

Get out!

l wonder what scared him off.

You know what!

The spectacle of law and order here,

rising up from the gravy

and the potatoes.

All right, you made your point.

The gun scared him off.

Pompey's gun, your gun, Tom.

Why did you interfere? He tripped me.

lt was my steak.

And you would have killed him for it,

or he would have killed you

over one measly steak!

- That's why l picked it up!

- Thanks for saving my life, pilgrim.

That isn't why l did it!

Nobody fights my battles.

Rance, l'm sorry.

l'm not in the habit

of eating my steak off the floor.

Well, cool off, pilgrim.

lt's all over. Nobody got hurt.

lt's not all over, and everybody

here knows it. He'll be back.

He will, but not after me.

After you, pilgrim.

And you can't shoot back

with a law book.

What Peabody's saying is,

if you want to stay healthy,

there's two ways to do it.

Buy a gun or leave the territory,

is that what he meant?

- That's it, pilgrim.

- By golly...

l'd hate to see you go.

You're news, Mr Stoddard,

and you've been news

ever since you hit town.

''Ransom Stoddard, Attorney at Law.''

l didn't mean to hurt

your feelings out there.

l'll tell you what.

You decide to stick around,

and l'll let you hang this

outside the newspaper office

rent-free, for as long as it lasts.

No. The first time

Liberty rides into town,

he'll shoot it to pieces,

and the whole newspaper office.

- How about that, Mr Peabody?

- Well, that'd be news.

l accept your offer, Mr Peabody.

How about letting me hang that up

tomorrow?

- Tomorrow? Well, of course.

- Thank you.

Why not?

l'm staying,

and l'm not buying a gun either.

Good luck, pilgrim.

Hallie,

l'll be out of town for a while,

north of the Picketwire,

horse-trading.

Goodbye, Tom.

And take note of what goes on around

town, because by the time l get back,

there won't be no newspaper

to read it in.

- Well, any news?

- Hansons had a baby, eight pounds.

- But not twins?

- Not twins.

l got this list of voters for you.

There are 37 new registrations

over last year,

and not one needed a lawyer.

lf we can only get them to vote,

maybe we can handle those cattle

barons from across the Picketwire.

- Did you write this, Mr Peabody?

- Yeah.

- This is great.

- You like it?

This thing's just great.

As my old boss,

Horace Greeley, used to say,

we'll tear their hearts out.

l'll be right there.

Let me have this.

l'll use it in class.

Good morning. l'm sorry l'm late.

A teacher should never

be late for class. Take your seats.

Quite a turnout this morning.

We have more pupils every day.

- Morning, Marshal. How you feeling?

- Just fine, fine.

- Your head cold?

- No, no. l have a...

Excuse me. l just wanted

to see how Julietta was doing.

- Julietta's doing fine.

- Gracias, seor.

How's the rest of my family

doing in reading?

Hallie's in charge

of the kindergarten.

Hallie, why don't you run through

the ABCs?

All right, you ready?

One, two, three.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G

H, l, J, K, L, M, N, O, P

Q, R, S and T, U, V

W, X and Y and Z

Now l know my ABCs

Tell me what you think of me

That was just fine, just fine.

Well, l see a couple more

new pupils back there.

Highpockets, Kaintuck, you fellas

really serious about readin'?

Go on. Stand up. Tell him.

Well, Miss Hallie, she

talked such a right smart argument

to the Lazy ''J'',

the boss of the Lazy ''J''.

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