The Manor Page #2

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- Very good.

- I will?

Yes, you will.

Well, I'm assuming

you're all hungry, correct?

- Very.

- Please, come with me.

"Very."

Ladies and gentlemen, it is

my pleasure to present to you,

Darsaw, Ole, and Brett,

the Bayton boys.

They're here to do some

buck hunting this weekend.

Hey, y'all.

[violent, high-pitch noise]

[Ole sniffling]

Damn, Darsaw, you sure

know how to clear out a room.

Back at the manor.

[exhales] Our annual

fall prison sentence.

Mm, I love it.

- Mm-hm.

- I f***ing hate this place.

You know what I did love...

[blows smoke]

...was the meal that

Charlie Manson served.

Oh! The gray matter?

- The gray matter. It was very nice.

- Delicious.

Did you see the eyeball

in the teeth?

The guy scares me.

He's the weirdest guy

I've ever met.

Mm.

Oh, speaking of the which, um...

Did you see those three hunters

that showed up?

- Maybe.

- They were cute, weren't they?

Maybe.

It's been about an hour and a half.

You haven't f***ed anybody yet?

You mean, like you f***ing your

cousin the last time we were here?

Hm.

That happened.

[humming]

You're adorable. [laughs]

You are adorable. Hm.

[Blair] Hey, lady.

[sighs]

Come on, are you serious?

No, I'm not in town

this weekend. I'm...

with my family at this place

we go a couple times a year

and desperately try

to act normal.

Yeah, [chuckles]

it's called Anders Manor.

It's so lame.

No. [scoffs]

Look, do you remember, um...

that cousin that I told you

about, the super crazy one?

Yeah, well, she checked out of

the loony bin today,

so we're all here to throw her a

"Welcome Back to the Family" party.

[eerie music playing]

Amy, do you understand that even

though you may feel a shock,

it will not break the hypnosis?

You will relax immediately,

noting only the pain,

and its lesson.

You will remain in a trance.

Do you understand that, Amy?

Yes.

Very good.

Now, Amy,

you are a tiny caterpillar,

crawling across a leaf.

What are you, Amy?

I'm a tiny caterpillar.

[electrical crackling]

[grunts]

Very good, Amy.

Now, we're gonna

spin you a cocoon of good drugs

and helpful therapy.

And while you're in that cocoon,

you won't feel any pain.

And when you emerge

from the cocoon...

you will be

a beautiful butterfly.

[electrical crackling]

[grunts]

[Blair sighs]

I'm sorry. I was a complete and

total a**hole to you at dinner.

I didn't want to come this

weekend and my parents made me

and I'm pissed at them,

not at you.

Still cousins?

Look, I feel really bad, okay?

Friends?

Well, boys, you like?

I like.

That MILF,

you see those titties?

Man, wait until you see them

True Believers.

The what?

The True Believers, man. They're

a church group or something.

Man, church girls

don't put out no poon.

Yeah, well, these ones do.

Universalists, or some sh*t.

What about that retarded girl?

Kind of cute.

"Butterface" cute.

Ole, man, listen to me

right now, all right?

That girl broke in the head.

You stay away from her.

I remember playing superheroes

with you and...

pushing you on the swing

when we were six.

You were totally normal.

What happened, Amy?

I got sick.

That's all.

I'm taking meds for it now.

Yeah, but, like,

crazy sick though, right?

Sometimes I don't know

what's real.

And it seems real to me.

Like...

Playing superheroes, but...

But thinking that you're

actually a superhero.

[chuckles] Like an acid trip.

People know they're

hallucinating on an acid trip.

Is there anything I can do to make

up for what I said at dinner?

Yeah.

Do you know how to do makeup?

[laughs]

Step into my office.

I'm gonna make you look

so expensive.

[laughs]

[swing music playing]

Mm-mm-mm!

Like a ripe, juicy fruit.

You're going to get pregnant.

Actually,

I'm on the pill, shithead.

Syphilis then.

Why are you guys

so mean to each other?

- Love.

- Love.

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.

The curlers hurt my head.

Beauty is pain, Cousin.

Anyone who tells you otherwise

is selling some bullshit.

[techno music playing]

[man] This is it,

True Believers.

Let's set it up.

Come on, True Believers.

Set it up.

Let's party with the Lord!

[knock on door]

Who is it?

[Eva] It's the Wicked Witch

of the West.

Open the goddamn door.

[chuckles]

Come on in, Eva.

- Hello.

- Hi, honey.

Come over here and have

a drink with me by the window.

And let's watch boys

carry heavy things.

What are we, 16 and 18 again?

Well, let's just pretend

we are, okay?

I mean, I haven't seen you

since the funeral.

That's true.

Oh.

- Yay!

- Mm.

[laughs]

Oh.

- Look, I've gotta tell you...

- Oh my gosh.

...I've got dibs on the one

with the fur hat.

["Phoenix Rising" playing

on radio]

Screaming in colors...

[wood splitting]

[groans]

Well... boys, I'll leave you two

to get settled.

Darsaw...

Thanks for chopping

that firewood there, Pumpkin.

Brett don't chop no wood.

Relax, you big babies.

I'll be back,

and I'll have beer.

[music fades out]

[techno music playing]

We all come together,

and we all go apart.

I said we all come together!

And we all go apart.

Like atoms...

like stars.

Did you get cotton candy?

Ice cream?

So nice to know

your bodies are nourished.

Now, it's time

to nourish our souls.

If you would...

breathe in with me!

And breathe out.

Breathe in with me!

And breathe out.

Welcome...

my True Believers.

[laughter in background]

You, stay.

So, how do you think

she's adjusting?

Well, Ethan,

I already see a difference.

Well, Niklaus did it again.

Everything is wonderful,

as always.

Good. It's good.

Thank you.

Thank you.

God loves you.

Jesus loves you.

Muhammad loves you.

Shiva loves you.

And the Goddess love you.

It doesn't matter

if you believe.

It doesn't matter at all,

love doesn't care.

Brothers and sisters,

love doesn't care.

So, let's crank up the tunes.

[cheering]

Fire up the pit.

[cheering]

And let's rejoice.

Let's rejoice,

in the name of love.

[cheering]

Hello, brothers and sisters.

- What can we do for you, um...

- Darsaw.

Darsaw Bayton.

You see,

I was just feeling the spirit,

and I figured I'd come over and

lend a friendly hand to you all.

[laughs]

Uh, Trevor. Trevor Clark.

Genuine pleasure, Trevor.

I'm Blair.

- Blair Clark.

- Ma'am.

And you are?

Actually, my business is with you, Trevor.

Can I borrow you for a minute?

- Me?

- Of course I can.

Seriously?

My brother, Ole... He pulled

his back out stacking firewood.

You know, he's as useless

as tits on a bull, that one.

And, well, I got a ton of gear in my

truck and it's a two-person lift.

Help a brother out, would you?

Say yes.

I mean, I love that girl

with all of my breaking heart,

but we didn't know

what we were getting into.

I know. I've heard so many stories

of heartbreak when people adopt.

I mean, you just never know what

family history you're gonna get.

- Nice and easy, okay?

- Okay.

- Nice and easy, okay?

- Careful, my hand...

It's slipping.

Nice and easy.

There's precious cargo in here.

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