The Marrying Kind Page #8

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Dear Madam:

"The last will and testament

of Clarence F. Dow, deceased...

"was filed on April 11th by this office...

"for probate in the Surrogates Court,

County of New York, State of New York.

"The undersigned, acting as executor,

hereby makes notification...

"that you, as Mrs. Chester Keefer,

ne Florence Derringer...

"have been named as beneficiary...

"under the terms

of the above-mentioned document...

"in the sum of $1,284.63."

- Happy days.

- I'm going to faint!

No, I'm not. Chet!

Let's buy a yacht

and take a cruise to Coney Island!

Listen, I never thought...

I mean, other people...

Can you imagine?

Chet, maybe our luck changed,

maybe for the good.

- You look funny.

- So I've been told.

- Is something...

- You got a great break. Congratulations.

I got? It's for us, isn't it?

Catch me.

- But I don't know what's the...

- Tell you later.

I'll go see if dinner's ready.

I'm not so hungry. I got to get some air.

I don't feel so good.

Chet, please!

I got to get some air.

Anything wrong with that?

You said he was all better, Ma.

He'll be right back.

How about something to eat?

Sure, George.

Sit down.

- What are we having?

- It's casserole.

I don't mean that old stuff. I mean dessert.

- Lemon meringue pie.

- Yeah!

- That your favorite?

- All my life.

It's my fourth favorite.

Say, this is great.

Think I may just move in here.

- You mean come and live here?

- Certainly.

You think my father would like that?

Excuse me.

You know what my fifth favorite is?

- No, what?

- Guess.

- Devil's food cake?

- No.

- Banana ice cream?

- No.

Caramel custard?

How could it be? That's my second favorite.

Give up?

Prune whip! You didn't guess it!

You getting up?

You getting up?

What's the matter?

You decided not to talk today?

What good's that?

Or maybe the cat's got your tongue?

What gets settled with no talking?

Sometimes even with talking, it doesn't,

but with no talking, never.

- Come on, Florence, will you?

- Will I what?

- Cut it out.

- Cut what out?

Fine.

You're the one went hard-nosed

all of a sudden.

So why should you just pick

your any old time to talk or not.

I only waited around here

the whole last night, that's all.

George finally went home around 10:00.

I waited till almost 12:00

and you still weren't.

- At 12:
15 I went to bed.

- 12:
20 I came in.

Who cares?

- I see how worried you were, right to sleep.

- I did not.

- Just making out?

- That's right.

Very brave.

- Where were you, anyway?

- Walking around.

I don't follow your whole attitude, Chet.

I know you've been sick

and I'll make allowance...

but sick is one thing

and crazy is still another.

I'm not crazy.

You may drive me, but you haven't yet.

- What did I do?

- How should I know?

Why should any Clarence F. Dow

leave you $1,284.63?

- How do I know why he should.

- 'Cause you were there, not me.

- I worked for him, that's all I know.

- You got paid!

Of course.

So why should he leave you $1,284.63?

Maybe he felt like it, I don't know.

I don't feel like it.

What do you know about that?

- What do you want me to do?

- Nothing.

So what's the argument?

I look great, don't I?

Everybody knows about it,

or is bound to find out.

You can't keep a thing like this on the q. t.

A thing like what, for heaven's sake?

- You don't see anything wrong in it?

- No, I don't.

- You need glasses if you don't see it!

- You need glasses yourself!

A man doesn't leave anybody $1,284.63

just for plain nothing!

- He wasn't a man.

- Yeah, what was he? A trolley car?

He was my boss, not a man.

I didn't even like him.

- I guess he liked you, all right.

- No, he didn't.

- That's why he left it to you?

- I can't understand that.

You and me both, honey.

Look, you want me not to take it?

So I won't.

What good will that do?

If you don't want me to take it

and also to not take it, so what?

So nothing.

You know how long it would take us

to save up that much money?

A year. Maybe two.

That's right. Maybe never.

That's right. Maybe never.

All right. So I'm a flop!

So I admit it. So I can't support you!

Maybe you ought to do something about it!

Chet, you're not acting nicely.

What can I do?

I don't know!

I don't even know what I can do!

If you'd only calm down,

just cool off a minute.

- Okay, I'm cool.

- I didn't understand the whole thing myself.

I remember him, a very mean old man.

- Old?

- Old.

Go ahead.

I remember, he had this reputation

for being cranky.

People even mentioned it to me

when I got promoted into his office.

They said, "How cranky, how demanding,

no consideration. "

- So why did you do it?

- It was a job.

Sure.

- I thought I could handle the situation.

- And I guess you did, all right.

No, I didn't.

No matter what I did, never enough.

- Even extra things, personal things.

- What do you mean, "personal"?

Going out and shopping

on my lunch hour...

sometimes he'd tell me

to buy him razor blades or socks...

stuff like that, on my own lunch hour,

no consideration.

- But you did it, all right!

- Sure!

- And what else?

- What else what?

- Go ahead!

- Chet, I can take just so much.

You don't have to take anything.

I'm the one doing all the taking.

I'm sick of all these insinuations!

Insinuating? I'm telling you right out!

We couldn't sleep anymore.

We got very restless.

- What's the matter?

- I almost forgot our good morning song.

- Not today.

- We have to. If not, it's bad luck.

- Don't be so superstitious.

- I'm not super anything.

- You hate me today.

- No, I don't. I love you.

Then why can't we sing

our good morning song?

Okay.

Good morning to you, good morning to you

We're all in our places with sunshiny faces

Oh, this is the way to start a new day

- Lf it ain't the Postmaster General.

- Hello, Pat.

Could I talk to you a minute?

Anytime, boy, anytime.

Never too busy to say hello.

Pat, just for instance...

how would you feel about it

if somebody left Emily a big wad of dough?

Say, somebody she once worked for?

- Emily never worked. She don't believe in it.

- I know, but suppose they did?

Wouldn't you think it was fishy if they did?

- Who left it to her?

- I'm just taking a hypothetical case.

No, I mean, who left it to Florence?

You wouldn't know him.

- What does she say?

- Nothing, she just screams.

Somebody left me $1,000, I'd scream, too.

Not the way I see it.

Let me tell you something,

you got a bad attitude to money.

You think so?

I never talked with you

the subject didn't come up: money.

- You think it's important.

- Important if you got none.

- But you're all wound up in it.

- This isn't the money. It's the principle.

No. You're just getting excited

'cause you're getting pulled in two ways.

You don't want her to take it,

but you don't want her to give it up.

You're just talking gaggle.

See, the reason I understand you

is I'm different.

You're always neck high

in some scheme to do with money.

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