The Member of the Wedding Page #2

if you want to.

But let's go out, Frankie.

They sound like they're having a lot of fun.

No, they're not.

They're just a crowd of ugly, silly children.

Running and hollering.

Running and hollering. Nothing to it.

Look, those big girls!

Hey, there!

I'm mighty glad to see you. Come on in.

We can't. We were just passing through

to notify our new member.

Am I the new member?

No, you're not the one the club elected.

Not elected?

Every ballot was unanimous

for Mary Littlejohn.

Mary Littlejohn?

You mean that girl

that just moved in next door?

Pasty fat girl with those tacky pigtails?

The one who plays the piano all day long?

Yes. Mary is training for a concert career.

You don't have enough sense

to appreciate a talented girl like Mary.

What are you doing in my yard?

You're never to set foot

on my papa's property again!

You crooks!

I could shoot you with my papa's pistol!

Crooks!

Why didn't you elect me?

Why can't I be a member?

I wouldn't pay them club girls no mind.

All my life I've been wanting things

I ain't been getting.

Besides, them club girls

are fully two years older than you.

I think they've been spreading it

all over town that I smell bad.

When I had those boils

and had to use that black,

bitter-smelling ointment.

I know.

That old Helen Fletcher asked me

what was that funny smell I had.

I could shoot every one of them

with a pistol!

I don't think you smell so bad.

You smell sweet like a 100 flowers.

I bet I use more perfume

than anybody else in town.

Crooks!

And there was something else, too.

They were telling big lies about

grownup people.

I don't know what kind of fool

they take me for.

Keep telling you, they're too old for you.

Frankie, the whole idea of a club

is that there are members who are included

and the non-members who are not included.

Then what you ought to do is round you up

a club of your own.

That way you'd be the president yourself.

- Well, who would I get?

- Oh, the little boys and girls

you hear playing around here,

the neighborhood.

I don't want to be the president

of all those little young leftover people.

Well, go on and enjoy your misery.

I bet Janice and Jarvis are members

of a lot of clubs.

In fact, the Army is kind of like a club.

You've got two nickels and a dime.

Now, don't be rooting through

my pocketbook like that, candy.

That ain't nice, rooting through

folks' pocketbook.

They might get the idea

you're trying to steal their money.

I'm looking for your old blue glass eye.

Here it is.

That's my new eye. Give it here.

I still owe $64.23 on this eye.

Your old blue eye looked very cute.

Maybe the finance company will come out

and take it back.

They'll never repossess it while

I'm wearing it and I'm still the same size.

You got three eyes. Which one of them

do you see out of the best?

Left eye, precious. The glass eyes

don't do me no seeing good at all.

Janice and Jarvis.

It gives me this pain

just to think about them.

It's a known truth

gray-eyed people is jealous.

I told you I wasn't jealous!

I couldn't be jealous of one of them

unless I was jealous of them both.

I associate the two of them together.

Well, I was jealous when my

foster-brother, Honey, married Clorina.

I sent a warning I'd tear the ears clean

off her head. But you see I didn't.

She got ears just like everybody else.

J- A.

Janice and Jarvis.

Isn't that the strangest thing?

- What?

- J-A.

Both their names begin with J-A.

Well, what about it?

If only my name was

Jane or

Jasmine.

I don't follow your frame of mind.

Jarvis and Janice and Jasmine, see?

No, I don't see.

I wonder if it's against the law

to change your name or add to it.

Naturally, it's against the law.

Well, I don't care! F. Jasmine Addams!

You serious when you give me this?

I will name her Belle.

I don't know what went on in Jarvis' mind

when he brought me that doll.

Imagine bringing me a doll.

Your face when you unwrapped

that package sure was a study.

John Henry, quit picking at the doll's eyes,

it makes me so nervous. You hear me?

In fact, take that doll somewhere

out of my sight!

The big mistake I made

was to get this close crew cut.

For the wedding I ought to have

long brunette hair, don't you think so?

Don't see how come long brunette hair

is necessary.

But I warned you about getting your head

shaved off like that before you did it.

But nothing would do,

but you shave it off like that.

I'm so worried about being so tall.

I'm 12 and five-sixths years old.

Already I'm 5'5"

and three quarters inches tall.

If I keep growing like this until I'm 21,

I figure I'll be nearly 10 feet tall!

How tall, Frankie?

I doubt if they ever get married

or go to a wedding, those freaks.

- Freaks? What freaks are you talking about?

- The fair.

The ones we saw there last October.

Oh, the freaks at the fair.

She was the cutest little girl I ever saw.

I've never saw anything so cute

in my whole life.

- Did you, Frankie?

- No, I don't think she was cute.

Well, who is that he's talking about?

That little old pinhead at the fair.

Head no bigger than an orange.

The hair all shaved off

and a big pink bow at the top.

The bow was bigger than her head.

Well, that little-headed girl was cute.

The fact is all those freak folks

fairly give me the creeps.

Do I give you the creeps?

You?

Do you think I'll grow into a freak?

You? Certainly not, I trust heaven.

Well, do you think I will be pretty?

Maybe, if you file down

them horns an inch or two.

- Seriously.

- Seriously.

I think when you fill out,

you'll do very well, if you behave.

But by Sunday. I want to do something

to improve myself before the wedding.

Then get clean for a change.

Scrub them elbows. Fix yourself up nice.

You'll do very well.

You'll be all right

if you file down them horns.

I don't know what to do.

I just wish I would die.

- Well, die then.

- Die!

Go home! Go home!

You heard me. Go home!

- I'm sick and tired of you, you little midget!

- Now, just a minute...

- Will you listen to me...

- Go home!

Did you hear what I said?

What makes you act like that?

You're too mean to live.

I know it!

Something about John Henry

just gets on my nerves these days.

I've got a splinter in my foot.

That knife ain't no proper thing

for a splinter.

Seems to me that before this summer,

I always used to have such a good time.

Remember the spring,

how every Friday night Evelyn Owen

would come over and spend the night

with me? Or I'd go over to her house.

And then Evelyn had to go and move away

to Florida. Now she won't even write to me.

Don't that hurt you none?

Hurt anybody else except me.

Remember that show Evelyn and me put on?

Look ahead, look astern

Look the weather in the lee

- Blow high, blow low

- Blow high, blow low

- And so sailed we

- And so sailed we

You're going to meet another nice girl

like Evelyn Owen.

Frankie, what you need is a needle.

I don't care anything about my old feet!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes