The Member of the Wedding Page #5

a grown woman's evening dress.

All that brown crust on your elbows.

The two things don't mix.

Take it back. Take it back to the store.

But I can't take it back,

it's bargain basement.

Well, let me see what I can do with it.

I think you're just not accustomed

to seeing anybody dressed up.

I ain't accustomed to seeing

human Christmas trees in August.

Frankie's dress looks like a Christmas tree!

Two-faced Judas! You just now said

it was pretty. Old double-faced Judas!

Step... Step back a little.

Now, don't you honestly think it's pretty?

Give me your candy opinion.

Frankie, I never knew anybody

so unreasonable.

You ask me my candy opinion.

I give you my candy opinion.

You ask me again, I give it again.

But what you want

is not my honest opinion,

but my good opinion on something

I know is wrong.

Do you think they'd think it looked funny?

Yes, sugar, I honestly do.

I only want to look pretty

for Janice and Jarvis.

Frankie, you still got your mind set

on going with them,

when you know in your soul

this mania of yours is pure foolishness.

I don't wish to have to remind you anymore.

Please call me F. Jasmine.

Furthermore, I want to emphasize

that everything good of mine

has got to be washed and ironed

so I can pack them in the suitcase.

Everybody in town believes that I'm leaving.

All except Papa.

He's stubborn as an old mule.

No use arguing with people like that.

Me and Mr. Addams has got some sense.

I told Papa this morning I was going,

but he wouldn't listen to me.

He never listens to what I say.

Sometimes I wonder if Papa loves me or not.

Of course he loves you. He's just

a busy widowed man set in his ways.

I wonder if I can find some tissue paper

to line this suitcase.

- Look at me!

- Take that off!

- You gave it to me. You said...

- Take it off!

You just put it on to make a show of me!

Truly, Frankie, what makes you think

they want you tagging along with them?

Two is company, three's a crowd.

- That's the main thing about a wedding.

- You wait and see.

Remember back to the time of the flood.

Remember Noah and the ark?

And what has that got to do with it?

Remember the way

he admitted them creatures?

Shut up, you big old mouth!

Two by two he admitted them creatures.

Two by two.

That's all right.

But you wait and see, they will take me.

And if they don't?

And if they don't,

I will kill myself.

Kill yourself? How?

I will shoot myself in the side of the head

with the pistol that Papa keeps

under his handkerchiefs

with Mother's picture in the bureau drawer.

You know what Mr. Addams said about you

playing around with that pistol.

I've heard of a many

a peculiar thing in my day,

but this idea of yours is the most peculiar.

I've known men to have fallen in love

with girls so ugly,

you'd wonder if their eyes are straight.

Even known boys to have fallen in love

with women older than their mothers.

Take Honey. He's in love with that horn.

I've known people to have fallen in love

with their selves.

Dear Lord, we thank thee for what we're

about to receive to nourish our body.

Amen.

And what was we talking about

in the first place?

- About peculiar things.

- Yes. As I was just now saying,

I've seen and heard of many a peculiar thing

in my day,

but one thing I ain't never seen

or heard tell of, no, sir,

never in all my boring days

have I ever heard

of anybody falling in love with a wedding.

And you have to think...

You know, I've come to a conclusion.

What you ought to be thinking about,

young lady, is a beau. Nice little beau.

I don't want any beau.

What would I do with one?

Do you mean something like a soldier who

would maybe take me to the Blue Moon?

Who said anything about soldiers?

I'm talking about a nice little white boy beau

your own age.

How about that little old Barney next door?

Barney McKean. That nasty Barney?

Certainly. You can make out with him

till someone better comes along. You do.

You are the biggest crazy in this town.

Crazy calls the sane the crazy.

Him and that girl down the block.

They go to the alley

behind that Pat's garage.

I think maybe they smoke or something.

They don't let anybody watch them.

I watched them once.

What do they do?

They don't smoke.

The piano tuning man.

I seriously believe this will be the last straw.

Me, too.

If it isn't Mary Littlejohn practicing, it's this.

They tell me that when they want to punish

the crazy people in Houghtonville,

they tie them up and make them listen

to piano tuning.

We could turn on the radio, drown him out.

I don't want the radio on.

But I advise you to keep the radio on

after I leave.

You may very likely hear us

speak over the radio.

Speak about what, pray tell?

Oh, I don't know what about exactly,

but probably some eyewitness account

about something we'll be asked to speak.

Don't follow you. What are you going

to eyewitness? Who could ask us to speak?

What, Frankie?

Who's speaking on the radio?

When I said, "We," you thought I meant

you and me and John Henry West,

to speak over the world radio.

I've never heard about anything so funny

since I was born.

Who? Why?

The club of girls.

What do you crooks mean

crossing my yard?

How many times do I have to tell you

not to set foot on my papa's property?

Get out of here!

You just ignore them.

Make out like you don't see them pass.

I hope they die.

Oh, Frankie, you mustn't say things

like that. We all die soon enough.

You going to die, Bernice?

Certainly, precious, everybody's got to die.

Everybody? Are you going to die, Frankie?

I doubt it.

I honestly don't think I'll ever die.

What is "die"?

It must be terrible to be dead.

Nothing but black, black, black.

Yes, baby.

Yes, baby.

How many dead people do you know?

I know six dead people in all,

not counting my mother.

Ludie Maxwell Freeman is dead.

I didn't count Ludie, it wouldn't be fair,

because he died just before I was born.

Bernice, do you think very frequently

about Ludie?

You know I do.

I think of the five wonderful years

we had together.

All the bad times I've seen since.

Sometimes I almost wish

I had never knew Ludie at all.

It makes you too lonesome afterwards.

You go home from work at night,

a terrible lonesome quinch comes over you.

Take up with too many sorry men

to try and get over the feeling.

But T.T. Is not sorry.

Oh, I wasn't referring to T.T.

He is a fine upstanding, colored gentleman,

that's walked in the state

of grace all his life.

But are you going to marry with him?

I'm not going to marry with him.

But you are just now saying...

I was just now saying

how sincerely I respect T.T.,

and how sincerely I regard T.T.

But he don't make me shiver none.

Listen, Bernice.

There's something queer I have to tell you.

It's... It's something that happened to me

when I was riding around town today.

Now, I don't exactly know

how to explain what I mean.

Then what is it?

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