The Milky Way Page #4

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I didn't think she was,

but if she's sick...

it doesn't make a difference

what kind of woman she is.

Oh, but Agnes...

she's just an old horse.

Oh, I thought...

Well, thank you very much.

Thanks a lot.

Heh. Good-bye.

No, no, the other door.

Over there.

Oh, yeah. Thank you.

Heh. Heh.

Hello, Sunflower Dairy?

Maybe you can help me out.

One of your men left his cap

in my apartment.

Oh, about 3:
00 this morning.

No, I don't know his name.

Well, he was about 5'10"...

has dark hair and glasses...

and, uh,

and a very pleasant smile.

Yes.

Well, if you know who it is...

would you ask him to stop by

the Acme Barbershop?

- Manicure!

- Manicure!

Aha...

- Hello.

- Hello.

Heh. I was just

talking about you.

Heh. Yeah, I know.

Heh.

How is Agnes?

Oh. She's not very good.

I was up with her all night.

Oh, that's too bad.

Yeah, I took her

to a good doctor, though.

No powder.

Well, I hope

she'll be all right.

- Do you?

- Uh-huh.

All through.

Hmm? Oh, uh,

give me another shave.

- Another shave?

- Yeah.

Hey! Hey!

You let me go! Cut it out, now!

Stop it! Help!

Uhh! Uhh!

You give me back my pants!

Give me my pa...

Pardon me.

Oh, don't mind me.

I used to work with

the Four Flying Fagins.

Turn around.

Well, there's one thing

in his favor...

he's got a front and a back.

What do you think?

Wrap him in a horse blanket

till the bell rings.

- Say, what is this?

- Gotta take some of that off.

And you can't do that!

I know where I'm low on...

Soft as a bag of dead mice.

It's no soap, Gabby.

That string bean

couldn't lick Zasu Pitts.

It's gotta work! He's gotta

fight somebody in thirty days.

It's our only out!

He's gotta fight somebody.

Hey. Hey.

Might I say something?

Quiet, boys.

He wants to say something.

I'm sorry,

but I just don't want to fight.

Ha ha ha ha. Listen, Burleigh,

I'm your friend.

I'm Honest Gabby Sloan.

I'm trying to do you a favor...

- You're not...

- Wait a minute!

- You haven't heard me yet!

- Nervous.

Get a picture of this...

you're up to here in dough...

you've got a string of big cars

from here to Boyle's Half-Acre.

The dames are doing nip-ups

over you in the street.

The crowds are pointing at you.

They're yelling,

"There he goes!"

- Who?

- You.

Why?

Because you're the big shot!

You're fighting for the title.

It's the Polo Grounds.

80,000 people are going batty.

- There goes the bell.

- I'll answer it.

There goes the gong.

You're at him like a tiger.

He leads. The Tiger ducks.

That's you. You're the Tiger.

He leads again.

The Tiger ducks again.

- No, no.

- No, what?

That's nothing like it.

Here, I'll show you.

You gotta get

that knee action, see?

Now, here. Relax.

You're a bundle of nerves.

Mm. Come on,

give it here. Give.

That's better. That's it...

Don't you want to learn

how to duck?

We're back in the Polo Grounds.

The Tiger leads a left,

a right, a left.

- 90,000 people are...

- 80,000.

All right, 80,000.

That's one for you.

- 80,000 people are...

- And not quite 80,000.

What do you mean by,

"Not quite 80,000"?

Because I won't be there.

Two up for him, and game.

Talk isn't gonna do

this monkey any good...

but I'll show you what will!

Now I got you. Now I got you!

Try this one on your piano.

Why, you big hoodlum.

You big, Swiss bell-ringer.

I don't like dames

that hit gentlemen.

Another ducker?

Burleigh,

what are they doing to you?

They're trying

to make a fighter out of me.

We wasn't doin' nothing.

You get out of here!

All of you get out of here!

Brooklyn hospitality.

- You're a bunch of hoodlums.

- Who's a hoodlum?!

- He's the worst.

- I ain't no hoodlum!

Get out of here!

The little lady is right.

My apologies and my regrets,

Miss Sullivan.

- Uh, uh, Burleigh.

- Yes?

Just one thing before I go.

If you think of me at all,

Burleigh...

try to remember me as...

as honest Gabby Sloan.

All right.

Who came to lay a future

in your lap...

a future that

you'd be proud of...

that your lovely sister

would be proud of...

and that that...

that dear, sweet-faced, kindly

old lady would be proud of.

Hmm?

You know, Burleigh,

I sometimes wonder...

if we're half the men

our mothers hoped we'd be.

Hmm...

I'll bet your mother's

a sweet little woman.

Yeah. She's been having

a little trouble...

with her kidneys lately.

Hasn't she, sis?

You know, Burleigh,

that's uncanny.

If I didn't know, I'd swear

that that was my mother.

Maybe it is your mother.

It was here when we moved in.

Maybe that's your father.

He was here, too.

Pardon me. That's my horse.

How about a glass of warm milk?

Hello?

But she was sick, Mr. Kinney.

I had to take her

to the hospital.

Yes, I know

those things cost money.

Oh, Burleigh? Did I hear

you say you needed cash?

What?!

Oh, you couldn't sell her hide.

No, Mr. Kinney...

I'm not trying to tell you

how to run your business.

Go ahead and tell him.

What do you care?

But you can't do that to Agnes!

What? All right, fire me, then.

But she's worth

more than that to me alive.

Huh? No, I've never had that

much money in my whole life.

Have I, sis? No!

But I'll get it.

Hang up on the rat!

Oh, don't listen to him,

Burleigh.

You'll get that money.

You... you... How?

- By signing a contract with me...

- Hold the wire.

But a fortune!

For a few moments'

pleasant employment...

in a cool, airy arena.

I'll do it.

Good morning.

Good mo...

good morning.

- Where's Spider?

- At the ring.

Oh. Heh.

My, you look lovely

this morning.

And vice-versa.

Oh, thank you. Heh.

Oh.

Oh, Tiger?

We always use the bridge.

Oh, yeah. Heh.

- Hello.

- Ahh.

You perspire easy, don't you?

No, l... l...

Never mind that.

Where'd you get those?

Elastic broke...

Never mind that, too.

Let's get going.

It's your first fight.

The bell rings...

you come out fightin'...

you mix it up

in the middle of the ring.

He's throws a right, you duck.

He throws a left, you duck.

Suddenly, the crowd goes nuts.

There's a guy down.

Not you.

He's down, and he's out.

Eight, nine, ten!

And you're the winner.

Don't you think that

we ought to practice losing?

Don't worry. You'll win.

Give me that.

How's that?

Fine.

Now, keep it on.

I know two fellas once

that got into the same spot.

Six months later, they got

the gloves away from them.

They're all right now.

Have I got to go on with this?

You can't quit.

Think of your career.

It's the monotony of the thing

that's getting me down.

All right, let's see.

Where were we?

Oh, yeah. You're the win...

Oh, no. You win.

And to look good...

you give 'em the old business.

You give 'em that,

you give 'em this...

and to top it,

you give 'em this.

See? Now we'll start from

the beginning.

The bell rings.

I'm the other fella.

Put 'em up.

Ain't you ever fought?

Uh-uh.

All right.

Now make a face.

Nah, no.

Make a face to scare him.

Like yours?

- I never scare nobody.

- You scare me.

Aw, put 'em up.

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