The Milky Way Page #7

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so I wouldn't stand in the way

of your foul plot...

to murder my brother.

You don't understand.

- Oh, I don't?

- No, you don't.

My public won't want

to see me anymore.

I don't, either.

It's my only out!

Oh, I get it.

"Darling, I love you,"

Said he...

breaking her brother's jaw.

Oh, wait a minute, honey.

I promise you...

I won't hit him

any harder than this.

What was that?

That's my brother.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Don't look back.

- How do you do, Mrs. Lemoyne?

- Good evening.

- Good evening, Mrs. Lemoyne.

- Good evening, my dear.

Oh, I beg your pardon,

Mrs. Lemoyne.

Uh, this is a pleasure,

Mrs. Lemoyne.

Good evening, Mr. Austin.

- Hiya.

- How do you do?

I'd like to have you meet

some of my friends.

Certainly.

"The party of the first part,

in this instance...

"agrees with the party

of the second part..."

I wouldn't give

the dame a nickel.

I said, "The party

of the first part agrees...

"with the party

of the second part..."

Well?

Will you go away?

I'm trying to get

you some ice cream!

Tutti-frutti?

"...in witness whereof...

"the parties hereto

have hereunto affixed...

"their hands and seals

in triplicate."

Now all we need

are the signatures.

How about a statement

to the press, Mrs. Lemoyne?

Yeah, give him a load of it

from your angle.

The milk fund, as you all know,

is an idea of my own...

designed purely as a means

of raising funds for charity.

Of course, I know nothing

about fisticuffs...

but the cause is a worthy one.

Makes me very happy...

when I think of the thousands

of tiny tots...

who will receive

abundant nourishment...

from this, um...

oh, what shall I say?

The Sunflower Dairy.

Yes. To my dear friend

Mr. Austin...

and to you, Mr. Sloan,

my sincerest gratitude.

That ought to kill 'em.

Hello there.

Come on, Speed.

They're waitin' for you.

Let me have that contract.

That's it.

Now, you sign

on the bottom line.

The top line is for Burleigh.

And you better make it

Elwood McFarland...

instead of...

Ha ha ha! Yeah.

That Elwood always

bothers him a little.

I'm not fightin', Gabby.

Quiet, everybody. Quiet, now.

Take it easy.

Don't everyone speak at once.

Yeah. You know

my blood pressure.

A cheap joke like that, and I'm

liable to fall right on my face.

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah.

You sign that contract.

I'm not gonna fight

my brother-in-law.

Your brother-in...

- There goes my pump.

- There goes my chicken coop.

Can he do that?

What on earth...

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Mr. Sullivan, they're signing

the contracts in the library.

Oh, fine. Come on, Polly.

You go ahead, Burleigh.

I'll join you later.

OK.

Gentlemen, the contract.

Oh, uh, what seems

to be the trouble?

There's the contract. It's cold.

Yeah, but I don't...

Why don't you tell him?

He wants to know.

It still goes. I'm not gonna

fight my brother-in-law.

He's not your

brother-in-law yet.

Say, that's an angle.

Why don't you wait

a couple of months, huh?

We can't wait.

I mean, we don't want to.

Don't be a piece of putty.

Take my word for it.

A couple of months is nothing.

Yeah, we waited fifteen years,

and look at us.

Well, we're not waitin',

and I'm not fightin'.

Oh, thanks, Speed.

You've take a great load

off my mind.

I'll bet I did.

You sure did. It had me worried.

For nights, I wasn't sleeping.

I tried warm milk

and everything.

- Internally?

- And l...

Of course. Why?

Never mind. Go on.

Well, anyway,

night after night...

I kept dreaming the same dream...

there was you and sis...

and your three beautiful kids.

What?

Incidentally, you'll love them.

Especially Junior.

He looks just like you.

Oh, cut it out, will you?

Well, anyway, there they were

on the front porch...

and as I came through the gate,

they all started to scream...

"Mama! Mama!

There comes Uncle Burleigh...

"the man that

knocked out Papa!"

Yeah.

So, that's it?

Your attitude

regarding babies...

simply fascinates me.

I'm Mrs. Lemoyne.

I'm delighted.

You know, you're a most

remarkable fellow.

You know,

you're not so bad yourself. Ha!

Well, much as I should like to

sponsor the milk fund affair...

I find myself deeply affected

by what you've been saying.

Really? Hmm.

Won't you tell me

something about yourself?

Well, when I was a little boy,

I was kind of puny...

Our children will not cry

when they see Uncle Burleigh.

- No?

- No.

Elwood, you sign that contract.

Gee, honey, you mean...

Gabby, the contract!

The contract!

I got a million of 'em!

Willard, get Sullivan!

That's a smart move, miss.

You know, I finally

got so good at it...

that I could put my hands

in my pockets...

and bet the kids pennies

they couldn't knock my hat off.

And they couldn't, either. Heh.

What was that you just did?

That's the old box shift.

That's what you've been

reading about in the papers.

- Ha ha ha.

- Heh.

No, nothing like it.

No?

You gotta give it

that knee action.

- You're pretty good.

- Ha ha ha!

- You're fine!

- Oh, you're a darling!

Now I'll show you

how I use it in the ring.

- Yes.

- All right.

- You swing at me.

- You mean actually hit you?

Go ahead. I won't be there.

- You sure? All right.

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, not like that.

Look, you must let it go.

Mm. That's it. That's the stuff.

Follow right through.

Mm-hmm. All right, now.

Now, watch.

All right.

Ha! That's wonderful!

Oh, you know...

really, that's...

that's fascinating.

No... you're too stiff.

Yes, I know I am.

- Yeah, you must relax.

- Uh-huh.

Here. Give it to me.

- There.

- Uh-huh.

Now, more freedom. That's it.

- Oh, yes.

- And, uh...

Ioosen up here.

That's better.

Don't forget

the old knee action.

No. No, I remember.

Now... now you...

you do it to me.

- You mean it?

- Uh-huh!

All right. Heh!

You remember what I taught you?

Uh-huh.

If you forget, it's bad.

Very good!

That was wonderful!

Do it some more.

All right.

Uhh!

Uhh!

Uhh!

Oh, Mr...

Mr. Sull...

Wait! Mr. Sullivan...

Hello, Polly.

- I, uh... how do you do?

- How do you do?

We'll, uh,

take this matter up later.

Yeah. Heh.

They want you in there.

The fight's on again.

Speed says he wants

to go through with it.

What? OK.

Tell him the Tiger

will be there in two minutes.

But this is just like

committing suicide.

You're right, Tiger.

Heh heh.

Oh, there you are. Good.

Burleigh, I don't even know you.

You don't know me?

Oh, now, Polly...

you're being facetious,

aren't you?

I was never more serious

in my life.

The boy I knew went away

and never came back.

Yes, he did.

I'm the same fellow.

I can prove it. I'll show you

my driver's license.

No, you don't understand,

Burleigh.

I met a boy once that...

Well, to say the least,

I liked him very much.

- Oh.

- No.

No, that was the old Burleigh...

the nice fellow, the one

who was kind to horses...

the humanitarian.

But the one who came back...

came back with

the smell of blood...

still fresh in his nostrils.

Burleigh,

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