The Mind Reader Page #3

Do you

really mean that,

or are you just trying

to make me happy?

Both... I mean it, and I'd like

nothing better in the world

than to make you happy.

Oh, you're sweet.

What's on your mind?

You ought to know.

You're the mind reader.

[Chuckles]

One look from you

and my power of concentration

is scattered.

Really?

I haven't thought of

much else except you

for the last few weeks.

I think about you

all day.

I dream

about you at night.

Do you ever

think of me?

Of course.

What?

What do you see

in your crystal?

I see us

becoming good friends...

Close friends.

Closer... And closer.

Wouldn't that

be glorious?

I see us brought together

by that universal force...

The power

that makes these blossoms,

the urge that makes

all of life...

The force that makes

the world go 'round.

Love.

And I suppose all this

is very far in the future?

No.

Well, when?

Now.

I can see you

in my arms.

I hear you say,

"I love ..."

[Train whistle blows]

And I can hear

the train whistle!

Come on!

We'll have to run for it!

[Train whistle blows]

Frank:
"I have been

married 10 years."

"I love children.

Will I ever have a baby?

Signed, Mrs. b."

"I have saved up $900.

"Please advise me

what would be

a good investment, or ..."

So this is the way

he reads their minds.

I thought chan told you

to stay out of here

while he's working.

Sure, he did,

and now I know why.

Well, I told him

when he took you with the show

he was shaking hands

with trouble!

My good friends, this will

conclude the performance.

[Audience murmuring]

Chan's gonna be sore at you

if he finds you in here.

Lying and cheating

the public...

That's a fine way

to make a living.

Sylvia.

I am ashamed of you.

I admit that

this part of my act is a fake.

It's got to be.

The great chandra.

All these fairy tales

about your supernatural powers!

[Scoffs]

Sylvia,

I have supernatural power.

Yes,

this looks like it.

What did I tell you?

Dames is just bad news!

That's what they are!

Just bad news!

Go on. Get out of here.

Get out!

All right, all right.

Don't bawl me out.

I ain't the one sore at you.

It's your funeral.

Sylvia, this is

very simple to explain.

Would you have contempt

for a man

who advertises

the goods he wants to sell?

What's that

got to do with it?

My occult power

is my stock in trade.

I use a little ballyhoo

to attract attention.

Is it wrong

for the manufacturers of soap,

toothpaste,

chewing gum, automobiles

to ballyhoo

their product,

to advertise them

in newspapers and magazines,

to plug them

on the radio?

But that's different.

They're trying to sell

honest merchandise.

So am I.

There is no difference.

I'm just trying to

convince the public

that it's worth their while

to pay for a private reading.

And, my dear, I assure you,

when I'm alone with a client

and it's quiet

and I can concentrate,

I don't need

any mechanical help.

I'm sorry, chan. I didn't know

what I was talking about.

Will you forgive me?

Forgive you?

Why, it makes me

so happy to know

that I meant

that much to you.

Now run along, darling,

while I change my clothes.

I'll take you to dinner.

All right.

Frank:
So,

she's just your secretary.

[Normal voice]

Yep.

Well, it looks like

she's gonna get promoted.

[Train bell dinging,

brakes squeal]

[Deep voice]

Greetings, gentlemen!

Man:
The chief of police

wants to know

if you intend

doing your stuff here.

I am going to give

a demonstration

of the occult science

five times daily all this week.

Print that on the front page

of your paper.

Maybe you never heard

there's an ordinance against

fortune-telling in our city.

But not against

demonstrations of science.

Ah, so that's

what you call it, huh?

[Laughter]

Evidently, it is up to me

to give an immediate

demonstration

of the power

of mind over matter!

Do any of you judges

of the universe and its peoples

know how to take a pulse,

that very simple but certain

and universally used method

of determining

the blood flow from the heart?

Gentlemen, I will now prove,

for your edification

and for my own satisfaction,

the power of mind over matter.

I will now stop and start

my pulse at will.

If you please.

Got it?

Sure.

You haven't lost it.

I've stopped it.

Now it's going again.

Yeah.

Got it?

Yeah.

I will now

stop it again.

Maybe I'm crazy.

Are you

trying to kid me?

Got it?

Yes.

Say when

you want it stopped.

Stop.

Why, that beats

anything I ever heard of.

How do you do it?

Just an elementary principle

of the occult science.

I simply

tell my pulse to stop.

It stops.

[Chuckles]

How do you do it?

You simply roll a handkerchief

into a hard ball,

place it under your armpit

against the artery.

When you press your arm

against it,

it stops the blood

and the pulse.

It's a beauty,

but it ain't gonna save you.

That chief of police

has got a head on his shoulders.

Yeah? What do you think I got?

A casaba melon?

Oh, I never should have let you

talk me into this.

Just like I said...

Chief of police and two d*cks

sitting out there.

Why, you'll have them

right in your lap!

Well, it's my lap.

Yeah,

and it's my carnival.

Where's Frank?

He didn't show up.

He must be drunk again.

Well, he sure

picked a sweet night for it.

How are you gonna get by

without Frank?

Sylvia can

run the phone for me.

Can you?

I can do it

as well as Frank.

Darling,

are you nervous?

Oh, a little bit.

But it's nothing.

I'll be all right.

Now,

all you've got to do

is read the questions

clearly and distinctly.

You understand?

I've got it.

[Gong crashes]

S.T.K. Wants to know

if his real-estate investment

will pay.

Well,

he ain't answering.

Give it to him again.

S.T.K. Wants to know...

What's the matter?

He ain't getting it.

S.T.K. Wants to know about

his real-estate investment.

S.T.K.

There's something wrong

with the wiring.

I must set aside all questions

for the moment.

Shall I go get him?

Wait a minute.

Let's watch him squirm.

Okay.

I see disaster.

Grave disaster.

A crime

about to be committed.

A man walking along

a dark street.

Now he stops at a corner,

looks furtively around.

I see... The street names

on the lamp posts.

Chestnut and Nash.

Chestnut and Nash?

That's fagan's

jewelry store!

Of course it is.

The man looks

up and down the street

to see if he is observed.

The street is deserted.

Now he picks up an object.

It is a stone!

I see the shattering of glass.

The window is broken!

The stone smashes

in amongst the jewelry!

The criminal

cowers in the doorway,

waiting to see if the noise

has attracted attention.

[Crowd murmuring]

The vision suddenly fades out.

I am very tired.

It has been a great strain,

my friends.

Mr. chandra,

you saved one of our

most prominent merchants

a great loss.

A mere matter of routine

in my profession.

[Chuckles]

If you'd had that vision

a few minutes earlier,

we'd have had that gorilla

in the morgue.

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