THE MORBID SEVEN RISE AGAIN Page #10

Stammering and shaking he gets up.

LAZARUS:

I, I. I want to say, this is 3766, not the Boeing 3767. Getting my numbers wrong again. God help me.

ELENA:

Over here, do your number before I get angry, belt off, pants down, sit, arms out. And handle me with care and affection.

He is now ready but looks unusually very nervous.

LAZARUS:

I’m ready. Can I keep my eyes closed, Mrs. Adamescu?

ELENA:

You keep them open or my fangs will open holes in your neck even bigger than my eye sockets.

LAZARUS:

I am really enjoying this Mrs. Adamescu, and my eyes are wide open.

The other four watch.

ELENA:

Are you guys keeping an eye on our performance. I can see you from the back of my head too, so watch out.

Doc Garner helps Baron to lift his hand. They answer in unison.

ALL FOUR:

Yes, Mrs. Adamescu.

ELENA:

We have been in this position for a whole fifteen minutes. The Grandfather tells me it’s almost twenty past twelve. Tick... tock, tick... tock. Soon it’s Crescendo time.

LAZARUS:

Almost there, yes, tick... tock, tick... tock. How many ... how many more tick tocks?

ELENA:

Not sure, lover boy. Cowboy, can you hear those tick tocks?

GARNER:

Yes ma’am, I can.

ELENA:

Cowboy, can you get a clear shot on that grandfather?

GARNER:

Sure can, ma’am.

ELENA:

Shoot that motherf***er. Nooooooow!

BANG BANG BANG.

GARNER:

Sh*t I am getting good at this. Motherf***er is dead ma’am. He’ll tick no more.

ELENA:

Good job, cowboy. Well done. You might be the next one here. You ran out of ammo I suppose.

Doc appears to be wetting his pants again.

ELENA:

Don’t worry about him Lazarus, he won’t take your place. He’s out of ammo anyway. Lazarus, Lazarus, are you with me? You wanna go in the freezer again. Sh*t, the son of a b*tch fell asleep.

Lazarus’ head slumps to one side.

ELENA:

(gets up)

Okay boys, curtains down. Who gives me 10 out of ten? Look, even Lazarus has his hand raised. Cowboy, help the Baron. He looks as if he needs some help. That’s better, now I count one, two, three, four and five. A perfect hand.

ELENA:

Final count is six.

ZACH:

I am a numbers man, Mrs. Adamescu. Anybody can tell the count is five.

ELENA:

(raises her hand)

Zach, are you saying you don’t have faith in my numbers?

Zach now looks even whiter than before. Elena lets out a loud Dracula-type laugh.

She encourages them to join in. And they all do in unison.

ELENA:

Some of you help this man out of my chair and get your asses out of here. Walk out very slowly and in unison. The last one out will close the door.

Another Dracula-type laugh.

She walks to the window, watches, giggles and laughs intermittently as the scenes move from the house to the outside.

ELENA’S POV

First out is Doc who helps Lazarus still holding on to his pants. They both drag the Baron out.

Eli is next, followed by Zach who pulls the door behind him. The twins move in unison.

BACK TO SCENE:

Elena walks to the door and walks out.

EXT. OUTSIDE LUTHER ZOMBESCU’S HOUSE - DAY

She stands on the porch and watches them struggle down the driveway. Then she follows them keeping about thirty steps away. She giggles and laughs.

ELENA’S POV

At the roadside, the Golding twins hail an approaching taxi and they’re off. The other three look in amazement.

Another cab stops by. He flashes a sign in Romanian, ‘Doar Doi - Two Only.’ They drop the Baron on the driveway and run towards the cab. Doc is in first, then Lazarus. The cab door slams shut. One of trouser legs hangs out of the car. The cab speeds away.

Baron Frederick just cannot believe his eyes.

BACK TO SCENE:

Elena laughs and looks at Baron von Garten helpless on the ground.

ELENA:

Don’t worry Baron, I will get you a taxi.

She lets out increasingly louder Dracula-type laughs, turns back and walks to the house.

BACK TO SCENE:

INT. ZOMBESCU’S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Simona is ready to go to bed. She notices that Luther starts stirring after laying almost motionless the whole day. She nudges him with her stick. He wakes up.

LUTHER:

What’s? What’s happening?

SIMONA:

You have been asleep for a whole day. And talking nonsense. You must have had a bad dream.

INT. MORGUE - DAY

Luther walks in at his usual time, two minutes to nine.

LUTHER:

Good morning, Elena, nice to see you again. You look refreshed.

ELENA:

Glad to see you back, Luther. I haven’t seen you for almost two days. What’s the first job for today?

LUTHER:

Well, cleaning up the Sam van Shorn’s corpse. My nose tells me he smells a bit. A dab of your perfume performs wonders.

ELENA:

True, it is a bit suffocating. Different strengths Luther. Parfum, Toilette or Cologne?

LUTHER:

You’re the expert on that Elena.

ELENA:

Just a dab to try it out first?

LUTHER:

(stiffens)

Oh no, not that again, Elena!

THE END:

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