The Most Hated Woman in America

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You've reached the Murray O'Hairs.

Leave a message.

Hey, it's Luke.

It's, uh, 10:
00. Where are you?

Everyone's here.

Hey, y'all.

Gonna be a scorcher today.

Phew!

- Where are we?

- I don't know.

Grandma?

It's all right, Red.

We're gonna get out of this.

- Garth?

- Yes, Mother.

Did you get a good look at anybody?

Recognize anyone?

No, Mother.

Shh.

I think someone's coming.

Check their restraints.

You wanna tell us

what the hell we're doin' here?

Shut up.

You're tellin' me to shut up?

I don't think you know whose weeds

you're pissing in, buddy.

- I said shut up.

- I heard you.

I chose to ignore you.

Who are you working for, huh?

Did Jerry Falwell put you up to this, huh?

The Baptists, that it?

- Mother, please.

- I think we're good.

All right, let's go.

Cocksuckers,

you're not gonna get away with this!

Don't you know who I am?

God damn it.

So, Mr. Collier,

you say the cars are gone now.

Shouldn't they just be in them?

The door was open,

breakfast on the table,

- and they'd never leave without the dogs.

- Mmm-hmm.

And you say that this lady lives here

with her son and his daughter?

Yes. Uh, no.

The granddaughter's from her other son.

It's an interesting living arrangement.

Wait a minute.

Madalyn Murray O'Hair.

That's who we're talking about here?

Are you sure that this isn't just another

one of her publicity stunts?

Aren't you even gonna take

any fingerprints, sir?

Mr. Collier, this is Texas.

Not against the law to go missing here.

Garth, I loosened it.

I loosened it.

Come here. Give me your hands.

Give me your hands.

- What are you...

- Give me your hands.

Just get it untied. That's...

- I... I can't.

- You can do it.

- Oh, my God. It's really...

- That's it. That's it.

What kind of knot is that?

Come on.

You can do it.

Well, get closer to me, then.

Oh, all right.

- Jesus!

- Come on.

Oh. Almost.

I almost got...

- Come on.

- No, I... No, it's not...

- It's useless. It's not gonna happen.

- Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

I knew I should have sent you

to f***ing Boy Scouts.

I don't know what you think

you're gonna do anyway.

They both have guns.

If we could get these hoods off,

we might have a better idea

of what we're dealing with.

- Come on. Try again.

- No.

- Come on, Garthy...

- No, stop it.

Don't you disobey your mother!

Or what, you're gonna

take me over your knee?

- Yes, I just might...

- Stop it, both of you!

God damn it, I have to pee.

Hey, people!

If you don't let me out of here,

I'm gonna piss all over your floor!

Lady, you're gonna

need to calm down.

Calm down?

You want me to calm down, sh*t for brains?

In case you hadn't noticed,

we've got bags over our heads,

we're all tied up and I gotta pee!

You do what we say and everyone

gets out of here safe and sound.

Oh, now that sounds

like the big man in charge.

Is that the big man in charge?

Get this goddamn thing off of my head

and show me who you are.

You think you got

the balls to take me on?

Jesus Christ.

What?

What's going on?

Garth, what's going on?

- Oh, my God.

- Robin.

Oh, my God,

is that who I think it is?

F***.

Hello, Madalyn.

- This is Bill Murray.

- Bill, it's Roy. Roy Collier.

What do you want?

It's your mom... and Robin and Garth.

They've disappeared.

I just saw them in Dallas.

I'm not kidding.

The police said that in order for somebody

to officially be considered missing,

they need somebody in the family

to file a report.

Why would I do that?

Besides, they're probably off

on some crazy trip again.

- No, this is different, Bill.

- Roy...

you know they're not in my life anymore.

And, frankly,

I'd like to keep it that way.

Okay?

Bill...

Ferguson...

I need those 600 words

on the Alamo anniversary by 5:00.

Relax, man. It's the same story I wrote

last year and the year before that.

Well, can't help it

if nothing ever happens in San Antonio.

No, plenty happens in San Antonio.

I just don't get to write about it.

Where you going?

Sh*t.

- Jack Ferguson.

- This is the reporter?

On a good day.

You know Madalyn Murray O'Hair?

She's disappeared.

Madalyn Murray O'Hair?

The damn cops won't do anything.

Only thing I could think to do

was call a reporter.

- Who's this?

- Name's Roy. But I gotta go.

If you wanna know more,

come by 1682 Greystone Drive tonight.

- What...

- I'll be there.

Hello?

Madalyn?

Bless this food to our use...

and us to thy service.

- Amen.

- Amen.

Now, I don't suppose

you found a job today?

I had an interview.

But I didn't get a law degree

to be a damn receptionist.

You'd be lucky

to be someone's receptionist.

If I were you, I'd start praying.

How do you put up with him, Mother?

The question is, how do I tolerate you?

Living here for free.

- Bringing a bastard into my house.

- Pup!

Don't you ever call my son that.

Sweetie, why don't you just take

your dinner and go on to our room? Hmm?

I am sorry, Billy Boy.

I was just trying to make a point

about your momma, huh?

I've got a point I'd like to make.

What else is new?

No, this is important.

Got an announcement.

Getting another grandchild.

That's right. Your precious daughter's

got herself knocked up again.

- Oh, honey, no.

- Yeah.

And the guy's kicked me to the curb again,

saying it's not his,

when I know for a fact

it absolutely is his.

You're an embarrassment.

That's right.

That's right.

Walk away.

Just like they did.

I'm sorry, Mother.

- You wanna tell me what happened?

- I don't know. Condom broke?

You sure you wanna keep it?

I mean, I can take care of Pup,

and you know how he loves little Bill,

and hopefully he'll come around.

He's right.

I got a law degree and no job,

and a kid and no husband.

The only thing I do have is judgment.

I get plenty of that.

Maddy, you made a couple of mistakes,

that's all.

You know, I see these housewives

in their identical homes

with their identical lives, and...

They disgust me, but sometimes I...

I wish I could be like that,

wish I could live like that.

But I can't.

I don't know what to tell you.

Mom, just lie to me.

- Tell me everything's gonna be all right.

- Oh...

Well, I could be a secretary.

Telephone operator.

You could sell Avon like Ms. Wright.

We're just too damn smart for these hicks.

- We will fight!

- What's going on?

I'll bet they're going

to the White Tower restaurant.

Why?

Well, Billy Boy...

not all people are treated the same

in this world.

Because they're non...

- Noncon...

- Nonconformist?

- Yeah.

- Well, you could say that, I guess.

White Tower won't serve Negroes...

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