The Mudge Boy

[ PANTING 1

[ PANTING 1

[ COUGHING ]

SHE'S NOT COMING TODAY.

TOMORROW EITHER.

HELLO, MISS POLLY-O.

THANK YOU, HANNAH.

WOW, COUSIN JESSICA.

YOUR FIRST THIS WEEK.

MOM WOULD HAVE BEEN VERY PROUD.

HI, CHICKEN.

HEY.

I CAN CLEAN IT UP.

GO IN THE HOUSE.

BRING THEM EGGS:

WITH YOU.

MISS BLODGETT SAID YOU SHOULD

FIX THE FRONT STEP.

MM-HMM.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

IT WAS FINE.

HOW'S YOUR SUPPER?

IT'S GOOD.

"HOW WAS YOUR DAY, DUNCAN?"

GOOD.

"DID YOU TELL YOUR FATHER

ABOUT OLD RED HEN?"

"I HAD TO BURY ANOTHER ONE"

"OF MY CHICKENS TODAY,

EDGAR -- OLD AGE."

"DUNCAN PLAYED THE MINISTER.

SHOULD'VE SEEN HIM--"

JUST DON'T.

"NOW, EDGAR,"

"DEATH'S AS MUCH

A PART OF LIFE AS LIVING."

STOP, STOP IT. STOP IT!

I'M GOING TO HAVE A SMOKE.

[ COUGHING ]

[ FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING ]

THAT IT?

THAT'S ALL OF IT.

LOOK AT THAT.

FOLLOWS HIM LIKE

A LITTLE PUPPY DOG.

THAT CHICKEN BELONGS

WITH THE OTHERS.

NACNUD EGDUM --

THAT'S MY NAME BACKWARDS.

DUNCAN MUDGE IS:

NACNUD EGDUM.

YOU GO...M-U-D-G-E,

E-G-D-U-M.

EGDUM.

EGG DUMB, HUH?

YEAH, IT'S KIND OF FUNNY.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.

JUSTER PELKEY IS, UH--

HOW ABOUT TAKING

SOME CHICKENS HOME?

THAT WOULD:

BE GREAT.

OK.

GO GRAB HIM TWO GOOD ONES.

THEY ARE NOT YOURS TO GIVE.

YOU MIND:

YOUR MANNERS:

AND GET THE MAN:

HIS CHICKENS.

HEY...

YOU HEAR ME?

I DON'T WANT TO

CAUSE TROUBLE--

YOU AIN' TROUBLE.

SORRY, JUSTER.

THAT'S OK,

DUNCAN.

HOW COME DUNCAN:

DON'T HELP YOU?

HE HELPS OUT.

COUSIN JESSICA, YOU'RE GOING

TO GO LIVE AT JUSTER'S HOUSE.

[CLUCKING 1

IT'S OK, IT'S OK.

MARILLA THE GORILLA

IS GOING WITH YOU.

I KNOW...l KNOW.

I'LL MISS YOU TOO.

JUST MAKE SURE YOU LAY

LOTS OF EGGS FOR HIM, OK?

HE'S NICE.

I DIDN'T KNOW WOMEN HAD

HEART ATTACKS LIKE THAT.

YEAH.

HEARD IT KNOCKED HER RIGH OFF HER BIKE -- THAT TRUE?

YEP, YEP.

BOY...THOSE

ARE BIG ONES, DUNCAN.

THEY'RE GOOD LAYERS.

THEM ARE BEAUTIES.

GIVE THEM TO ME.

HEY, NOT LIKE THAT!

YOU'LL HURT THEM.

POOR LITTLE THINGS.

THEY'LL BE GOOD EATING.

HE'S A FUNNY

KID, EDGAR.

YOU BETTER GET THESE HOME.

[MOOING 1

HEY, GIRL.

WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING?

I WAS JUST PETTING HER.

SHE'LL SUCK

YOUR DICK:

IF YOU LET HER.

WELL, I WOULDN'T LET HER.

I'M JUST KIDDING YOU, DUNCAN.

I KNOW.

[MERRITT ]:
HEY! SHE AIN' GONNA MILK HERSELF.

NO SH*T. REALLY?

I'M JUST TALKING

TO MY FRIEND:

OVER HERE.

YOU'RE

A GOD DAMN:

SMART ASS,

AIN'T YOU?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

LET'S GO.

HE'S JUST MAD 'CAUSE

HE LOST HIS LICENSE.

NICE CHICKEN.

DO YOU WANT TO HOLD HER?

NO.

I GOT TO GO IN.

COME ON.

DO YOU NEED ANY EGGS?

[ EDGAR]:
WE'RE

LEAVING SHORTLY.

I'M ALMOST READY.

6 ON A HILL FAR AWAY 6

6 STOOD AN OLD RUGGED CROSS 6

6 THE EMBLEM OF SUFFERING 6

6 AND SHAME 6

6 AND I LOVE 6

6 THAT OLD CROSS 6

6 WHERE THE DEAREST AND BEST 6

6 FOR A WORLD OF LOS SINNERS WAS SLAIN 6

[ SNICKERING 1

6 SO, I'LL

CHERISH 6

6 THE OLD RUGGED CROSS 6

6 TILL THE MOMENT, AT LAST 6

6 I LAY DOWN 6

6 I WILL CLING TO

THE OLD RUGGED CROSS 6

6 AND EXCHANGE I SOME DAY FOR A CROWN 6

[ CLAMOURING 1

WHERE'S MY EGGS,

YOUNG MAN?

OH, I FORGOT.

UM...I'LL BRING

THEM BY AFTER CHURCH.

DUNCAN'S IT.

I CAN'T GET OVER IT. HE'S

THE SPITTING IMAGE OF LYDIA.

YOU MUS SEE IT, EDGAR.

YEAH, I SEE IT.

MORE AND MORE LIKE HER

EVERY TIME I SEE HIM.

GOOD MORNING.

HOW ARE YOU?

TRACEY!

TRACEY! WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER?

WE'RE LEAVING.

OH, HE WENT OFF

DOWNSTAIRS.

I'LL GO GET HIM.

THANKS -- COME ON, LET'S GO.

[PERRY]:
GOD, YOU

GOT BEAUTIFUL TITS.

YOU'RE SEXY AS HELL.

[TONYA ]:
ARE YOU

BEING SERIOUS?

YEAH, TAKE OFF

YOUR PANTIES.

GOD, PERRY, YOU'RE ALL SWEATY.

F***.

OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

PERRY?

PERRY.

WHAT?

YOUR MOM'S

LEAVING.

OH, JESUS, PERRY.

HI, DUNCAN.

HI.

WHERE YOU GOING?

YEAH...YOUR MOM IS LEAVING.

TELL H6l I'LL

BE RIGHT THERE.

I GOT TO SH*T.

OK.

HOP IN, SCOTTY.

COME ON, BOYS.

HE'LL BE RIGHT OUT.

HE WAS JUST DOWN THERE,

UM...BY HIMSELF.

[ EMILY]:

THANKS, DUNCAN.

[ TRACEY 1:

BYE, DUNCAN.

[CLUCKING 1

EDGAR, GLAD

YOU'RE HERE.

'MORNING, REVEREND.

HOW ARE YOU BOYS

MAKING OUT?

UH, WE'RE FINE, REVEREND.

DOING JUST FINE.

WHAT DID I TELL YOU

ABOUT THAT CHICKEN?

[BRENT]:
HEY, CHICKEN BOY!

[TRAVIS]:
LOOK, THE EGG LADY.

[TONYA ]:
YOU'RE

AN A**HOLE. "I'LL HAVE A DOZEN."

[TRAVIS]:
"YOU'RE

AN A**HOLE, TRAVIS."

[ PERRY]:
WE

NEED MORE BEER.

ALL RIGHT, TRAVIS, 'FESS UP.

I TOLD YOU, I'M BROKE

TILL MONDAY, MAN.

[ SCOTTY 1:
WHAT,

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

[TRAVIS]:
SCOTTY, YOU NEVER

HAVE MONEY. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME

YOU BOUGHT THE BEER?

HMM, LET ME

SEE, NEVER. [ BANGING]

[PERRY]:
F***!

[BRENT]:
EASY ON MY WHEELS,

BIG FELLA. I'M TRYING.

WHAT SHOULD I DO? TURN HIM

UPSIDE DOWN AND SHAKE HIM?

I GOT MONEY.

HOW MUCH?

THAT'LL DO.

[APRIL ]:

I WANT SOME GUM.

[TRAVIS]:
GET SOME CHIPS.

I'M STARVING.

NICE TURD, DUNCAN.

HEY, TRAVIS,

CHECK OUT HIS TURD!

OH, THAT'S A NICE

ONE, PUMPKIN.

[TONYA ]:
DUNCAN, BRING

YOUR CHICKEN OVER HERE.

HA, HA, OH, MY GOD.

SHE IS SO CUTE. CAN I HOLD HER?

SURE.

HEY, WHO CUTS

YOUR HAIR, DUNCAN?

YOUR GRANDMA, HA, HA...

NO.

MY DAD.

RIGHT, HA...

OK.

AWW, SHE'S SWEET.

WHAT'S HER NAME?

CHICKEN.

ME AND MY MOM ORDERED A BOX

OF BABY CHICKS IN THE MAIL

AND THEY WERE ALL

SUPPOSED TO BE:

ROAD ISLAND REDS

AND GIRLS, BUT...

ONE OF THEM TURNED OU TO BE A ROOSTER

AND ONE OF THEM:

TURNED OUT TO BE WHITE.

HMM.

SHE WAS MY MOM'S FAVOURITE.

YOUR MOM WAS SO PRETTY.

YEAH.

GROSS, TONYA.

SHUT UP, APRIL.

UH, CHICKENS ARE FILTHY.

GOD, YOU'RE SUCH A GIRL.

THEY HAVE:

DISEASES.

IT'S KIND OF...

EWW...

[BRENT]:
PUT THE TAILGATE UP.

LATER, CHICKEN BOY.

WHY DON'T YOU COME WITH US?

[6]

OK.

HOLD ON. DUNCAN'S

COMING WITH US.

NO WAY.

F*** YOU, TRAVIS.

HE BOUGHT THE BEER.

BRENT...

[ BANGING 1

HELP HIM WITH:

HIS BIKE. JESUS CHRIST.

GIVE ME THE F***ING BIKE.

COME ON.

LET'S GO..

WHAT THE F*** IS THAT ABOUT?

WHOO!

GO, GO, GO,

GO, GO... YAA...!

[YELLING 1

[LAUGHING]

OH...

AHH! STOP IT!

[LAUGHING]

HEY, LAY OFF THE BEER, HA...

[ TRAVIS ]:
SCOTTY,

YOU NEED A BEER?

YOU BOUGHT IT.

[TRAVIS]:
WHOO!

DRINK IT UP, BROTHER.

HEY, DUNCAN,

HOW'S THE BEER?

GOOD.

HEY, THAT HAT IS

F***ING COOL, MAN.

IT WAS MY MOM'S.

F***IN' GEEK.

LOOK AT HIM, LOOK.

CHICKEN BOY!

OOF! F***.

SPELL JOKE.

J-O-K-E.

SPELL SMOKE.

S-M-O-K-E.

WHAT'S THE WHITE

PART OF AN EGG? WEIRDO.

THE YOLK.

NOPE -- ALBUMEN.

THE:

[LAUGHING]

THE WHITE PART -- RIGHT.

HA, HA, COME ON.

6 EVERYBODY KNOWS 6

6 WHEELIN' AND DEALIN'... 6

6 ...YES I DO, I SMELL

COWSHIT, HOW 'BOUT YOU? 6

6 I SMELL COWPLOP, YES I DO 6

6 I SMELL COWPLOP,

HOW 'BOUT YOU? 6

6 I SMELL COWSHIT, YES I DO 6

6 I SMELL COWSHIT,

HOW 'BOUT YOU? 6

SCOTTY, LET ME SI UP FRONT -- MY HAIR'S

GETTING ALL TANGLED IN MY FACE.

6 I SMELL COWPLOP, YES I DO 6

6 I SMELL COWPLOP,

HOW 'BOUT YOU? 6

GIMME THAT HAT.

GIMME IT.

PUT THIS ON.

THERE YOU GO.

THAT BETTER?

PFF, GET OFF ME.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

YOU'RE A F***IN' B*TCH.

OH, MY GOD.

[LAUGHING]

IT'S PERRY...

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