The Muppets Take Manhattan Page #3

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- Yea!

So, like, you got

a boyfriend?

Pete, is there nothing else?

'Cause I'll do anything...

Pop, we could use

some help in the kitchen.

Is dishes need washing.

Oh, thanks, Pete!

That's terrific! Oh, boy!

- Thanks a lot, Jenny!

- Hey, no sweat.

- So, where are all your friends?

- They had to leave.

- Oh, even your pig friend?

- Yes, but I'm bringing her back.

I wrote the show for them.

When I sell it, I can bring them back.

I'm staying and I'm getting

our show on Broadway.

I really admire that.

I'm going to do

something special too.

I mean, in fashion.

Maybe your fashion

designing can help me now.

- What do you mean?

- I did some reading last night...

about Broadway producers

and investors and agents.

Now I know what I have

to do to sell our show.

I can use your help

'cause I have a three-part plan.

And the first part is...

if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Hiya, sweetheart! I just

flew in from the coast.

I love your hair!

Don't ever touch it!

Listen, I got an appointment

with your top theater agent.

Leonard Winesop?

Yeah, Lennie, right.

What office is he in, doll?

He's in Suite 1024.

I'll call and see...

No, no, sweetheart. No need for that,

'cause Lennie and I go way back!

I'm talkin' way back.

But, thanks, honey.

Far out! Right on!

Mr. Winesop?

Yeah? A frog.

With an afro.

Hiya, Lennie, sweetheart, babe!

I just flew in from the coast.

Hey, I love your office.

Don't change a thing.

My private plane's

double-parked so I gotta run.

I got this boffo, socko script for a

Broadway slot called Manhattan Melodies.

It's totally today yet

tremendously timeless.

I'm giving you first look-see

'cause we're like family.

Have I ever lied to you?

Oop, I think I hear my beeper.

I gotta split. I'll have

your people call my people.

We'll set a conference call.

Remember, Lennie.

Boffo, Lennie. Socko, Lennie.

I'll call you.

We'll have lunch. Ciao!

- Hi, Jenny!

- Hi. Here. Have a seat.

Were you a hit?

They loved it, right?

- How'd the costume work?

- The costume was great.

It's hard to tell how it went. They're

probably reading the script right now.

Hey, baby.

Baby!

Where you goin', sweetheart?

Hello.

I said hello.

For the next part of my plan

I have to look older...

so I'm gonna

grow a mustache.

- You'd look cute with a mustache.

- You think so?

- Mm-hmm.

- Piggy said that to me once too.

- She's hot! Hot mama!

- Hey, baby!

- Hot stuff!

- Lookin' good.

Perfect and pretty.

Pretty and perfect.

- Hey, baby!

- Sweet thing. Sweet thing.

- She must be really talented.

- You're talented too.

- You mean it?

- Of course.

I know you're gonna be

a famous fashion designer someday.

Kermit, thank you

for saying that.

- Come on, baby.

- Don't be rude.

What was that?

- Oh, it's just New York.

- Yep.

I'm sorry I'm late,

Mr. Wrightson.

I would suggest to you that it

is neither prudent nor wise...

to be a half hour late

returning from lunch...

especially when

it's your first day on the job.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Eileen, sorry I'm late.

It's okay, Piggy. Everything's

been goin' wrong lately.

Get your French perfume.

Quelle Difference.

Something wrong?

Can we talk?

- No! I'll be fine. Just bien.

- Sorry.

Get your Quelle Difference.

It's French. It's feminine.

It'll help you grab one

of those rotten, stinkin' men.

- Quelle Difference...

- Piggy, please!

You were fine this morning.

Something happen at lunch?

- My frog turned on me.

- I had some bad tuna myself.

I'm gonna fight for him, though.

Eileen, do you think

I'm pretty?

Of course you are.

You're more than pretty.

Gorgeous?

Don't push it, Pig. You're...

You're more than gorgeous.

You're unique!

But you could use a little rouge.

- Have a seat.

- What are you...

- What are you going to do?

- We'll fix you up.

Make you look like a movie star.

How'd you like that?

- Yes!

- Cheekbones. That's what you need.

Your face is a little round. I'm gonna

give you a complete makeup job.

This morning, I said,

she needs rouge.

- Turn your face. Ever wear rouge?

- Yes.

Now you're gonna really wear rouge.

- Kermit won't care.

- Kermit, Shmermit. You look great!

It brings out your eyes.

You know what you need?

- You need eyebrows.

- Pigs don't have eyebrows.

This pig is going to.

And so is this.

- Why did you do that?

- Boy, I think I overdid it.

- Let me see.

- Take a look.

- You have them too.

- I have them too.

- Do some more.

- I'll give you doe eyes.

Doe eyes?

What are doe eyes?

- Doe eyes are what Bambi has.

- Let me see.

- Doe eyes.

- Do some more.

You need freckles for cutesy.

- Oh, freckles.

- Cutesy, cutesy. I'll be cutesy.

- You got it too.

- Lipstick.

Why don't you wear lipstick?

Pucker. Pucker.

You look fabulous.

A little more on the cheeks.

A little more on my cheeks.

A powder puff for you

and a powder puff for me.

Quelle Difference.

Try the newest perfume from France.

You are fired.

Pete, what happened

to those rats you had working here?

Customer complained.

They no like rats for waiters.

- Is okay. I make them cook.

- Hey, Pete.

Here you go. Two zeros on a trampoline

with a side ofJoan of Arc.

Yeah!

Oh, yeah.

Hey, how's the coffee?

The coffee's fine.

Come on in.

Kermit, when are you going to

start growing your mustache?

I stopped shaving three days ago.

Didn't you notice?

Oh. Well...

- It's subtle.

- Yeah.

I bet we could

help it along with makeup.

Good. I'm ready for

the second part of my plan.

Hey, Frog.

Mail come. Got mail for you.

Yeah, it must be from the gang.

Now, Yolanda,

chopping is an art.

You gotta be smooth.

Hey, it's from Scooter.

"Dear Kermit, How are you?"

"Have you sold the show yet?

Have you heard from the gang?

I'm in Cleveland.

I have this terrific job.

I'm managing a huge movie house.

Maybe not managing, but I do

have a lot of responsibilities. "

Here are your glasses.

Seating to the left.

- Hurry up, Mom.

- Thank you.

"I'm meeting

interesting people. "

Ah! Your poppin' corn is 3-D!

Aha! The corn is poppin'

in your face in 3-D!

Chef, that's not how 3-D works.

- Oh, never mind.

- Here's your ticket.

Thanks. Sir, your 3-D glasses.

Sir, your glasses!

Sir, don't you want

your 3-D glasses?

Oh, I don't need 'em.

I've seen this movie 97 times.

My name is Lew Zealand.

I'm a boomerang fish thrower.

I throw the fish away

and they come back to me.

Here's my favorite part.

The fish! They're coming

from the game room!

Oh, no!

The killer fish are attacking!

Go get 'em, guys!

- Help! Help!

- Yeah!

"So, life is great here in Ohio.

Love, Scooter. "

Here's one from Fozzie.

"Dear Kermit,

Wacka, wacka, wacka. "

"But seriously. I'm in Maine.

My job didn't turn out

too terrific.

So I decided to hibernate.

Ahh, back to nature.

I love it out here

in the woods.

It's where a bear should be. "

How do they do it?

I've been tryin'

to sleep for days.

Anybody got some warm milk?

Oh, brother.

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