The Net

---

Well, thanks for the information.

I appreciate it.

There's no chance a mistake

could've been made? A misreading?

Human error? It happens.

Oh. Well, that sort of

rules that out then, doesn't it?

So this really is reality.

Mr. Secretary, your car.

Oh, yes. Thank you.

Eddie, let's take the parkway.

Okay, buddy. Final offer.

Nonnegotiable.

For every buckle-down hour

you give Algebra Two...

you get two with quality time

with Nintendo and Sega.

Deal? Just whatever you do,

don't tell your mother.

Good. Now, put her back on.

Okay, hon. Number-one son

back on the straight and narrow.

Me? Fine. Just needed

a little field trip to clear the head.

Bit of a nightmare day.

I'll see you in a bit.

You bet.

I love you, Liz.

This is a very dynamic game,

Mr. Dapina.

You can be honest, Angela.

This game is as bloody as it gets.

Believe me,

the kids will eat this up.

First, tell me what keeps crashing

the damn thing.

You have been virused, Mr. Dapina,

and a not so very nice one.

You're the best.

I knew I could count on you.

What should we do?

Don't hit the escape key

on any of your systems for a while.

One keystroke will wipe out

your whole system.

I don't know how these things happen.

I just ordered that security program.

What's it called?

Gatekeeper?

That's what they all say.

Did you install it?

Absolutely.

The minute we got it, I think.

Everything's under control.

It's gonna be okay.

You're the best. Will we be able

to get this in stores by week's end?

Absolutely.

Everything but the virus.

A friend of mine collects them.

I don't know, some people save string.

You are a genius, Angela.

I can't thank you enough.

You might think differently

once you get my bill from Cathedral.

Whatever it is, it's worth it.

I'd love to show you my appreciation.

Take you out to dinner tonight,

some drinks.

Get you out of the house.

Oh, I'm very flattered

and appreciative, but I...

You gotta eat.

Unfortunately, I already

have dinner plans, so...

How about tomorrow?

The next day?

These plans are kind of

a standing arrangement.

But I appreciate it.

Thank you.

- You're still the best.

- I'll speak to you soon. Bye-Bye.

Large.

Garlic?

Thank you.

No one leaves the house anymore.

No one has sex.

The net is ultimate condom.

Come on.

Talk like that, Iceman...

could lead to the eventual

extinction of our species.

My sympathies exactly, Angel.

Let's have a date and procreate.

Not me. In two days,

I'm off on vacation.

Just me, the beach and a book.

I'm there, babe.

Look no further.

Sorry. Not my type.

I'm crushed.

So what do you want in a man?

Butch.

Beautiful.

Brilliant.

Captain America...

meets Albert Schweitzer.

Spends all day dashing into fray...

while making world...

safe for democracy.

At night, playing Bach cantatas...

while curing cancer.

Settle for a guy

who puts the seat down?

Listen, Angel, you're dreaming.

- You're one of us.

- We accept you.

We accept her.

You're one of us.

One of us.

Yeah, I know.

It's beautiful.

- I love Chopin.

- You know this piece?

Well, I should.

You taught it to me.

Brought you something.

Just don't let the nurses

eat it all this time.

My favorite.

How did you know?

Do you wanna...

We could play it together.

I'm going on vacation

for about a week to the Yucatan.

If for any reason

you need to get in touch with me...

I don't know if they have phones there,

but you can talk to one of the nurses...

You must be one of my students.

No, Mom.

My name's Angela.

Can you bring me some candy

when you come again?

- My favorites are those...

- Almond Roca.

Yeah, I know

what your favorites are.

- Angela Bennett!

- Who is it?

- FedEx.

- Coming.

Thank you for using our reservation

service. Have a pleasant flight.

Line five, please.

- Oh, I have another one going out.

- Okay. Here you go, ma'am.

And here's your virus, Dale.

- Can I use your pen?

- Yeah, sure.

This is a nice place.

Thanks.

- Have a nice day, ma'am.

- You too.

Mozart's Ghost!

The hottest band on the Internet.

- Cathedral Software.

- Dale Hessman, please.

Please hold.

- Hello.

- Hi, it's Angela.

Angela? FedEx had you signing

for that disk three minutes ago.

- What took you so long?

- I was having way too much fun...

with this Mozart's Ghost.

By the way, I sent you a whopper

of a virus for your hall of fame.

Just be a little careful

with the escape button.

Look, here's the problem.

Pop yourself into concert information.

All right.

Houston Utilities. Dale, I think

you took a wrong turn here.

Not quite Ticketmaster, is it?

See anything unusual?

No, looks like a normal web page to me,

except for that...

little icon at the bottom

of the screen.

Click on it, and then

press control-shift.

- My God.

- So, what do you make of all this?

Simple.

It's a programming glitch.

It's a futzed keystroke that sent you

the wrong Internet address.

Last night it sent me to Amtrak's

central mainframe and the Mayo Clinic.

Neither of them

are on the same subnet.

Angela, I've accessed

a system I shouldn't have.

If someone gets ahold of that disk,

they'd have an awful lot of power.

Why don't you just crawl in there,

find the program error and delete it?

Not quite ready to do that yet.

Look, what's your day like tomorrow?

Oh, no. No.

I'm going on my first vacation

in six years.

I just confirmed my reservation.

There are no refunds.

- What time is your flight?

- 12:
00. But I have to pack.

I'm gonna be a complete madwoman.

- Why don't you wait till I get back?

- I don't think so.

- Just tell me what this is about.

- I'd rather not on the phone.

I can fly down tonight in my Cessna,

be there by breakfast.

We'd have five hours.

You know this sh*t

better than anyone.

Fine. Fine.

I'll see you at 7:00.

Great. So,

they finally get to meet.

I'll be the tall guy.

I'm gonna be the one with "Spineless

Simp" tattooed to her forehead.

Bye. See you tomorrow.

Why do I do this?

Burbank Tower.

Cessna 739 Mike Bravo.

Intercepting approach course

I. L. S., runway eight.

Three-nine Mike Bravo,

we've lost radar contact.

Say your position and altitude.

Just passing the middle marker

at 1,300 feet.

Three-nine Mike Bravo,

that's a negative.

Verify your position

and check your instruments.

All normal, for crying out loud.

You must be able to see my lights.

That's a negative.

Execute a missed approach immediately.

Contact approach control on 124.5.

Okay, Burbank, but still

everything looks ok...

Sh*t!

God!

- Cathedral Software.

- Hi. Russ Melbourne, please.

- One moment, please.

- Mozart's Ghost!

- Russ Melbourne here.

- Hi. It's Angela.

I thought you'd be long gone.

No, I was getting ready to leave.

That's why I'm calling.

I'm glad you're still going,

but when you get back, we need to talk.

We're really desperately short

of your genius up here.

Oh, please. I'm far

from being a genius, Russ...

especially with a room full of people

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