The New York Ripper Page #5

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MY GUESS IS WHATEVER

NUMBER HE DIALED LAST,

THAT'S WHERE HILTONBOCK

IS HEADED,

AND WHOEVER THAT IS

IS PROBABLY HIS NEXT VICTIM.

[RINGING]

HELLO, YOU'VE REACHED

BUZZ McNAB.

I'M NOT IN RIGHT NOW,

BUT PLEASE DO LEAVE A MESSAGE,

AND I WILL GET BACK TO YOU

WHEN I GET IN.

OH, NO.

WHO ARE YOU CALLING?

HELLO, CHIEF?

HEY, UH, SHAWN SPENCER HERE.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

LOOK, I'M GETTING A VIBE

RIGHT NOW AS BIG AS A BUICK.

STAY, BOY CAT!

HEY, McNAB.

SO THIS IS THE PLACE, HUH?

IT'S NICE. IT'S REALLY NICE.

DROP IT!

DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!

I WILL DROP YOU!

I SWEAR TO GOD:

I'M GOING TO SHOOT HIM!

DROP IT!

EVERYBODY, BREATHE.

JUST BREATHE.

GET OUT OF HERE.

WOW, THE OTHER ONES

MUST HAVE GONE:

A LOT SMOOTHER THAN

THIS, HUH, HILTONBOCK?

YEAH, COMPARATIVELY,

IT WAS PROBABLY:

PRETTY EASY:

TO GET MORTIMER TILDEN

TO SWALLOW THOSE PILLS.

YOU WANT TO DIE,

OLD MAN, HUH?

EAT 'EM.

BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT REALLY

A COLD-BLOODED SERIAL KILLER,

ARE YOU?

HE ONLY THREW HIS OWN BROTHER

OFF A BUILDING.

I DIDN'T PUSH HIM

OFF THE ROOF.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, YOU DIDN'T.

YOU DIDN'T DO THAT.

BUT YOU WERE THERE.

YOU SAW IT.

YOU SAW THE WHOLE THING.

YOU SAW HIM JUMP OFF THE BALCONY

OF THE APARTMEN THAT YOU SHARED.

HE WAS WEAK.

THERE'S A LOT OF WEAK PEOPLE

OUT THERE, HILTONBOCK.

YOU GOING TO TRACK

THEM ALL DOWN, HUH?

ONE AT A TIME?

PUNISH THEM FOR THEIR WEAKNESS?

YOU WANT TO GET BACK

AT YOUR BROTHER SO BADLY,

YOU DON'T EVEN...

YOU DON'T EVEN CARE

WHO THESE PEOPLE WERE,

JUST THAT THEY CALLED A LINE.

LOOK, YOU WERE GOING

TO KILL McNAB HERE

JUST BECAUSE HE HAD

A FEW PRE-WEDDING JITTERS.

I WAS JUST LOOKING

FOR A LITTLE ADVICE.

NOBODY ELSE WOULD TALK TO ME.

IT'S OKAY, BUZZ.

WE ALL HAVE STRESS.

ALL OF US.

RIGHT HERE IN THIS ROOM.

I MEAN, TAKE A GOOD LOOK,

HILTONBOCK.

WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS.

WHO ELSE DESERVES

TO GET SHOT OR HUNG?

MAYBE IT'S GUS.

THAT'S ENOUGH,

SPENCER.

OH, SHOOT HIM.

WHAT ATE YOU DOING?

YEAH, MAYBE I SHOULD.

DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!

HE'S A CRAZY PERSON.

HE'S CRAZY.

THAT'S RIGHT. I AM CRAZY.

SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHOOT ME.

OKAY.

HERE'S THE BEST PART.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I THINK,

BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PROBLEM

THAT'S A LOT BIGGER THAN ME...

THIS GUY.

THE MAN WITH HIS GUN

TRAINED ON YOU:

IS NOT ONLY A FINE HUMAN BEING

WITH A STRONG IRISH HAIRLINE,

HE IS AN EXEMPLARY

PUBLIC SERVANT,

AND ARGUABLY:

THE FINEST DETECTIVE MIND

IN THE LOWER WESTERN

SANTA BARBARA COUNTY AREA...

OVER THE AGE OF 35,

AND RIGHT NOW,

WHILE I'M SPEAKING,

HE IS DEVISING A SWIF AND STEALTH-LIKE TACTIC

THAT IS GOING TO DISARM YOU...

AND BLOW YOUR FREAKING MIND.

ANY TIME YOU'RE READY.

ALL RIGHT, WE'VE GO TO MAKE THE MOVE.

OW!

OW! OW!

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

THAT WAS ADEQUATE, SPENCER.

DON'T THANK ME.

THANK THE LITTLE BOY CAT.

OW! OW!

THERE YOU ARE!

THERE'S MY BIG GUY.

THERE'S MY BIG GUY.

YOU'RE A HERO!

YOU'RE A HERO TODAY.

YES.

SPEAKING OF HEROES,

McNAB, I WAS GOING

TO GET YOU SOMETHING

OFF THE REGISTRY ONLINE,

BUT IT TURNS OUT THE CHIEF

ALREADY GOT YOU:

THE ASPARAGUS:

STEAMER, SO...

INSTEAD, I GIVE YOU

THIS LITTLE GUY.

YEAH.

IF YOU TAKE HIM IN THE CAR,

HE LIKES TO RIDE UP FRONT.

SHOTGUN.

Is something beatufull clolor ABOUT THE COLOR

FRUITY PUFFS TURNS THE MILK.

I THINK IT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL

THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

I'VE BEEN THINKING.

YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE

WHO HAS A CHARMED LIFE,

SHAWN.

I'VE GOT I PRETTY GOOD TOO.

YES, YOU DO,

AND IT MAKES ME GLAD

TO HEAR YOU SAY SO.

I MEAN, THE OTHER DAY

AT WORK,

THIS DERMATOLOGIST,

KATIE FINESTATT,

COMMENTED HOW I LOOKED HANDSOME

CARRYING MY SAMPLE CASE

INTO HER OFFICE.

FINESTATT SAID THAT?

YES, SHE DID.

AND SHE IS FINE.

SO IT GOT ME THINKING,

MAYBE PHARMACEUTICAL SALES

CAN BE SORT OF SEXY.

THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I HAVE

TO STAND A FEW FEET AWAY

BECAUSE YOU'RE LITERALLY

SIZZLING.

YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?

I MEAN, YOU MAY BE MY

ONLY NON-WORK FRIEND.

BUT YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND,

AND HOW MANY BEST FRIENDS

DOES ONE GUY NEED, REALLY?

THAT'S MY POINT.

IT'S ALL IN THE ATTITUDE,

GUS.

EXACTLY. NOT SWEATING

THE SMALL STUFF.

LIFE'S TOO SHORT.

TOO SHORT.

CHANGING MY ATTITUDE, SHAWN.

WHERE THE HELL IS MY PRIZE?

WHERE'S MY RING, SHAWN?

EASY, NOW.

NO, NO. I TIMED THE BOWLS

OUT PERFECTLY, SHAWN.

ME, THEN YOU, THEN ME,

THEN YOU,

THEN I GET THE PRIZE.

SO WHAT HAPPENED TO NO SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF?

LIFE'S TOO SHORT?

ALL THAT?

DID YOU OPEN THE BOTTOM

OF THE BOX?

WHY WOULD I DO SOMETHING

LIKE THAT?

THAT'S MY RING.

HMM?

YOU KNOW I WOULD KILL

FOR THAT RING, DON'T YOU?

UH, YOU'RE UPSETTING ME.

YOU JUST CHANGED MY MOOD

FROM AN ORANGEY YELLOW

TO A MUDDY BROWN.

YOU NEED TO SAY:

SOMETHING SWEET, QUICK.

GUS...

THAT'S SO CHILDISH AND...

I'M GOING TO EAT YOURS.

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