The Night of the Iguana Page #10

As a place, a building...

...bricks, wood, stone.

I think of a home...

...as something two people have

between them.

In which each can...

...nest, rest...

...live in, emotionally speaking.

Does that make any sense to you,

Mr. Shannon?

Yes, but...

Well, go on. But what?

Oh, leave it, I'd only say something

to hurt you.

I'm not thin-skinned, Mr. Shannon.

Very well. When a bird builds a nest

to rest in and live in...

...he doesn't build it in a falling-down tree.

- I'm not a bird, Mr. Shannon.

He builds with an eye to the permanence

of the location, and for the purpose of...

...mating and propagating the species.

I still say I'm not a bird, Mr. Shannon.

I'm a human being.

And when one of that unique species...

...builds its nest in the heart of another...

...the questions of permanence

and propagation...

...aren't the first, or even

the last things to be considered.

What is important...

...is that one is never alone.

You've been asking all the questions,

Miss Jelkes. May I ask one of you?

Ask it. There's no limit on questions

here tonight.

And on answers?

None that I can think of, Mr. Shannon,

between you and me.

This, then, is the question.

Have you never in your life

had any kind of...

...love life?

Would you mind repeating the question?

Have you never in your life or travels

had any encounter with any experience of...

...what Larry the Crackpot

would describe as a love life?

There are worse things than chastity,

Mr. Shannon.

Yes, lunacy and death.

Well, if you don't want to answer

the question...

No, no, I don't mind answering.

Yes.

Yes. I have had two experiences...

Well, encounters with.

Two.

Yes, I said two.

When I was 16.

Sixteen.

Yes, 16.

When I was 16...

...every Saturday I would go

to the Saturday matinee...

...at the Nantucket Movie Theater.

That was soon after my parents were

killed in an automobile accident...

...and I was very alone.

Well, one day a young man...

...sat down beside me

and pushed his knee against mine.

I moved over but he moved over too,

and continued the pressure.

I jumped up and screamed...

...and he was arrested

for molesting a minor.

Is he still in the Nantucket jail?

No. No, I got him out.

I told the police it was a Garbo picture.

It was a Garbo picture.

And that I was just overexcited.

And the second?

The second experience

is much more recent.

Only four years ago,

when Nonno and I were in Hong Kong.

One evening...

...in the Palm Court of Cliff Hotel...

...we met this middle-aged, sort of...

...nondescript Australian salesman.

You know, plump, bald, spotted,

and terribly over-friendly.

I did a sketch of him

that was shamelessly flattering...

...for which he paid me

more than my usual price.

Ten Malayan dollars.

Then, he asked me out

in a sampan with him.

Well, he'd been so generous...

...I accepted.

I did.

I accepted.

Grandfather went up to bed.

And I went out in the sampan...

...with the Aussie underwear salesman.

I noticed he became more and more...

What?

Agitated.

Well, finally, he leant towards me.

We were vis--vis in the sampan.

And he looked intensely and passionately

into my eyes and said:

"Miss Jelkes, would you do me a favor?

Would you do something for me?"

"What?" I asked.

"Well," he said:

"If I turn my back...

...if I look the other way...

...will you take off some piece

of your clothing and let me hold it?

Just hold it."

And what did you do in this situation?

I did as he asked.

And he kept his promise.

He kept his back turned

until I said "Ready"...

...and threw him the piece of my clothing.

But what did he do with it?

I don't know.

I looked the other way.

- And that experience, you call that a...?

- A love experience?

Yes, I do, Mr. Shannon.

That sad little, dirty little episode,

you call it a...

Sad, it certainly was for the poor little

man. But why do you call it dirty?

You mean

you weren't disgusted by it?

Nothing human disgusts me,

Mr. Shannon.

Unless it's unkind or violent.

And I told you how...

How gentle he was.

Apologetic, shy.

And really very...

...well...

...delicate about it.

However, I do grant you

that it was rather on the fantastic level.

What are you doing?

Untying you.

Why? Why now?

I think the spook is exorcised, Mr. Shannon.

You've ceased to struggle.

And acceptance of life is surely

the first requisite for living it.

Who was the person you told Maxine

you'd helped through a crackup like this?

Oh, that.

Myself.

Oh. Oh, you?

Oh, yes.

I had a spook like yours once.

I just had a different name for him.

I used to call him the "blue devil."

- And we had quite a contest between us.

- Which you...

Which you won.

I couldn't afford to lose.

How did you...?

How did you beat this blue devil of yours?

I showed him I could endure him.

- And made him respect my endurance.

- How?

Just by enduring.

Endurance is something that spooks

and blue devils respect.

And they respect all the tricks...

...that panicky people use to outwit

and outlast their panic.

Like taking a few deep,

deep breaths?

Or rum-cocos.

Or even beach boys.

Anything. Everything we do

to give them the slip.

So keep on going.

To where?

To somewhere like this, perhaps.

After long and difficult travels...

...the subterranean travels

that the spooked and bedeviled take...

...through the unlighted sides of

their own natures until finally...

...they see a faint gray light.

And keep climbing towards it.

Are you still following

that faint gray light?

Any light is a good light to see by

at the end of a long, dark tunnel...

...that you thought would be

never-ending.

That only God or death

could put a stop to.

Especially when you...

Since I was

far from sure about God.

Are you still unsure about him?

Not as unsure as I was.

He's still struggling.

Yes. He's got to the end of his rope.

And any further, he cannot get.

Can you honestly tell me

that he is not able to feel pain and panic?

- You mean, he's one of God's creatures?

- Yes, if you want to put it that way.

Mr. Shannon, cut him loose.

All right.

We'll play God tonight, like kids play houses

with old broken crates and boxes.

We'll cut the lizard loose

so that he can go back to his bushes.

Because God won't do it

and we are playing God here tonight.

Mr. Shannon.

I knew you'd do that.

What the hell are you doing, Shannon?

I just cut loose one of God's creatures

at the end of his rope.

What for?

So that one of God's creatures

could be free from panic...

...and scamper home safe and free.

A little act of grace, Maxine.

Hannah! Hannah! Hannah!

Where are you?

Here, Grandfather.

Right here.

It finished! Quick, before I forget it,

pencil and paper. Hurry, please!

- Ready?

- Yes. All ready, Grandfather.

How calmly does the olive branch

Observe the sky begin to blanch

Without a cry, without a prayer

With no betrayal of despair

Some time while night obscures the tree

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