The Night They Saved Christmas Page #4

I was wondering...

there seems to be a lot of

different Santa Clauses in the

store around Christmas time.

There certainly are--

they all couldn't be me,

now, could they?

But I try to visit some of the

stores before Christmas.

Was that really you?

Yeah, my belly full of jelly

and all.

And as I recall, you were

visiting with your grandmother,

and you pulled my beard.

Yes, David?

It seems it's a logistical

impossibility you can deliver

all those presents in just one

night.

Ha, I was wondering when that

would come up.

Well, first of all, the

different time zones make it a

little easier for me.

Time zones?

Oh, yeah!

You see, when it's midnight in

New York, it's only 5:00 in the

morning in London.

9:
00 at night in California.

I think it would take the

whole night just to cover a

small area of one city.

You're absolutely right,

David, it would take the whole

night... if it weren't for the

TDD.

That's the Time Deceleration

Device.

Here, let me show you.

This is really something.

Now, look over there at the

North Pole Constant Time Clock.

See, the spinning little candy

cane measures time in

microseconds, exactly like they

do in the Olympics.

Now, as I switch on the TDD,

you watch the clock.

There, you see?

The TDD has slowed time.

It decelerates time as I go from

area to area, and it slows

things down more than enough

to give me time to make

my deliveries.

There... is that amazing?

Dr. Fernando of our Research and

Development Department developed

it, based on Einstein's theory

of relativity.

It's incredibly complicated.

Matter of fact, it's Greek to

me.

All I know is, it works.

Now then, may I suggest that,

uh, Mrs. Claus entertain the

children while we have our

little talk?

Thank you.

Good.

They're dynamiting again.

They're dynamiting again!

This is our newest building.

It's the safest place to be.

Ed, you stay with 'em.

Yes.

I've gotta get to Master

Control Headquarters.

It's been hours,

where are they?!

What if it isn't Gaylord?

Got a better answer?

Driven to the North Pole by a

diminutive chauffeur?

In a reindeer?

Well, I saw him!

Oh yeah, of course.

Just like the Saudis saw things

when Gaylord ripped them off

last year.

You think Claudia and the

children have been drugged?

He had the guts to drug

the Saudis.

Well, here we are.

Ah, welcome!

Oh!

Please, come in.

Good evening, Ed.

Good evening, Mrs. Claus.

May I present Mrs. Claudia

Baldwin, and these are her

children, David,

Marianne, and C.B.

This is Mrs. Santa Claus.

Hello.

My my, children, what a

pleasure it is to have you here.

Thank you.

It was pretty scary for

a while there, wasn't it?

Yes, it was.

And Papa's so pleased that

you could come.

And it looks as though it was

just in time, doesn't it?

Yes.

Well, enjoy yourselves.

Uh, I'll be waiting to escort

you back when you're finished.

Excuse me.

Oh, yes, yes.

Now, um...

why don't you all follow me

into the study?

Papa should be here very soon.

May we have a look around,

Mrs. Claus?

Oh, yes, please do.

And please, call me Martha.

Thank you, Martha.

Claudia.

Ah.

It's okay.

Oh, oh, that's all right.

You can pick it up.

It won't break, it's iron.

It was Papa's most popular toy

from 1838 to 1843.

Hi, Mommy!

I'm a good girl!

I love you, Mommy.

And that was

Papa's big hit in 1950.

There's a record player in the

tummy.

You know, many of the toy

companies get some very good

ideas from Papa.

I bet they do.

Boy, I remember this little

tank I got one Christmas.

It used caps and shot BBs.

Well, you didn't get that

from Papa.

Parents often give their

children gifts and say they're

from Santa Claus.

Toy guns, for example.

Papa has never given a child

a gun.

He doesn't like guns, he doesn't

believe in violence.

I thought I told Bruce in

maintenance to have this

doorknob fixed a week ago.

Oh, please, don't blame him.

He's so overworked, he hasn't

even repaired the kitchen sink.

Ah.

Ah.

How bad is it this time?

Well, fortunately, the damage

is minimal.

But for a moment there, it

reminded me of the Christmas

I was making my deliveries in

London during the Blitz.

Oh!

Well, it certainly scared the

wits out of me.

Well, hello again!

Hi!

Well, Claudia, if you'll

excuse me, I'm just going to

start preparing a little supper.

You kids wanna help her?

Good, well, come along then!

Well, now then.

We can talk alone.

Claudia, I'm sure you realize

by now how serious this

dynamiting is.

And we certainly don't want to

alarm the children more.

I agree.

Good.

Well...

first of all, I wanna show you

something.

Now, this is a precise miniature

of Nor...

Very interesting.

Oh, I-- I'm gonna

have to make a confession.

That's just for Christmas Eve.

I mean, if my beard were really

that long, I'd never be able to

make up my mind to go to bed

with it over or under the

blanket.

I get precious little sleep

as it is.

All right, back to business.

Now, as I was saying, this is a

precise miniature of North Pole

City.

Now, I chose this location

because of these ice formations.

Technically called seracs.

Totally conceal our little city

from the sky.

Now, the Reindeer Zephyr

ended here.

All an unwelcome visitor would

find is-- is an impenetrable

ice wall.

Our little city is also

protected by very sophisticated

anti-radar and electronic

detection devices.

Map of the Arctic Circle.

North Pole City is right here.

Now, your husband's company has

been dynamiting here.

And Ed has advised me

Mr. Baldwin also intends to

dynamite here.

It's referred to as Site B.

That'll be right after the

New Year.

As you can see, if he dynamites

there... it'll be the end of

all of us.

Yes, yes, I-- I can see that.

I knew you would.

Now, the main oil field

isn't there.

It isn't?

No.

It's over here, on Site A.

They'll just have to keep

drilling there.

So, if you'll merely explain

that to your husband, I'm sure

he'll change his plans.

Explain it to him?

Be honest with me.

You haven't believed a word

I said.

No, I don't believe you.

I don't know what you really

want-- you seem like a very

nice man, and-- and this is

certainly an incredible place.

But, I mean, let's face it.

Santa Claus is a mythological

figure.

I mean, you know there's no such

person as Santa Claus.

There never has been, and there

never will be.

Martha's gonna be very shocked

to learn that.

Well, I guess I'll just have to

prove it to you then.

I really wish you could.

Why don't we sit down?

There you go.

Thank you.

Now there, let's see.

It was Christmas Eve,

you were five--

no, no, you were six,

living in Houston, Texas.

Houston, that-- that's right.

Mm-hmm.

You sneaked in and caught me

under the tree.

How would you know that?

I mean, I thought that was my

grandfather.

Your father was very ill at

the time.

Yeah, he-- he died

three months later.

I know that.

You remember that Christmas Eve

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