The Nines Page #2

If that's all there is, my friends

Then let's keep dancing

Let's break out the booze

and have a ball

If that's all...

- I need to go.

- What?

Sorry, sorry.

Where are my shoes?

- Wait, just...

- Sorry.

Don't worry about it. Just...

I should go. Good-bye.

You coming back?

And if that mockingbird won't sing

Mama's gonna buy you

a diamond ring

And if that cart and bull fall down

You'll still be the sweetest

little baby in town

Good night, sweetheart.

Good night.

The cat says, "Meow."

The pig says, "Oink."

The cow says, "Moo."

The cow says, "Moo."

The cow says, "Moo."

The dog says, "Nine.

Nine, nine, nine, nine."

Hello?

Yes.

Two trains run through the forest.

Nine, nine, nine, nine, nine...

F***.

Jesus, you scared

the sh*t out of me.

What... I don't... I'm sorry.

Oh, no, I'm...

I'm fine. I'll be fine, yeah.

Where are your parents?

No, no, no, your mom and dad.

Where's your mom and dad?

I don't know what you're saying.

Look, hey, look,

I don't speak that,

so just go back

to wherever you came from.

You shouldn't be out here.

No, no, no. Go...

It's not safe for you to be out here.

You should go back, okay?

Oh, sh*t.

Evening, Officers.

Once again, house arrest means

you stay inside your house.

Think of it like

an electronic leash.

Think of it like

an electronic leash.

If you even go more than

the cops come,

and they throw your ass in jail.

If you ever try to take it off,

the cops come,

and they throw your ass in jail.

If they ever detect drugs

or alcohol in your system...

Cops come.

Throw my ass in jail.

No, I kick your ass.

Then the cops come

and throw your ass in jail.

Do I still have to answer the phone?

I'll be doing that from now on.

I'm moving into the guest room.

I don't need a babysitter.

Despite all evidence

to the contrary.

Don't worry,

I'm a cool roomie.

Who do you think taught

Affleck how to gamble?

Let's never hear that again!

...ninety-seven,

ninety-eight, ninety-nine.

One hundred feet.

Behold, the edge of your world.

In the world,

out of the world.

In the world,

out of the world...

Hey, I'm dancing!

Sure, absolutely.

So the guy's like,

"Do you know fencing?"

And I say, "That's what it says

on my headshot."

- Lies.

- Oh, always. Always.

So he says to me,

"Foil or epi?"

- Epee!

- And I say I'm about equal in both...

- Which is true!

- Exactly.

Anyway, he throws me

this f***ing Conan sword, right?

And then he just starts

going after me.

I'm just swinging.

I'm just trying to stay alive,

right, with my eyes closed,

and I end up accidentally

cutting his ear.

You cut off his ear?

Yeah... well, no, no,

just a little, right.

But I ended up getting the job.

Wait, you were in

Pirates of the Caribbean?

Yeah. No, no.

No, not the movie, the ride.

I was all, like, "Arr, keep

both hands inside the boat."

Don't. No finger.

Good night, fuckface.

Good night, you filthy whore.

It's incredible.

Whenever I see them,

I always feel like... damn.

I was born at the wrong time.

Exactly.

- Where's the warden?

- Groceries.

Quite the little missus.

- How's Jaden?

- Boring.

We haven't had nearly the grand old time

you two have been having.

You've been watching.

Well, I don't want

to meddle in your affairs.

My affairs?

Everyone needs affection.

I get it.

I don't. Are you seriously jealous?

The opposite.

I just want to protect her.

- From what?

- From you.

Look at you. You date models,

actresses, tennis players.

Yeah?

On a scale of one to ten,

you belong with the nines.

We both know

you won't settle for less.

What are the nines?

What?

"Look for the nines"?

It's not mine.

- It's your handwriting.

- I didn't write it.

Okay.

Allee--allee--all come free.

What?

Nothing.

Seriously. What?

Nothing. I thought you were...

Forget it. Done. Sorry.

Hiya. Hi.

What?

I have to take this.

Who thought

it was a good idea

to let Courtney

into a pottery shop?

I know who you are.

- Really.

- I know what you are.

If you come near him again...

You'll what?

What are you gonna do about it?

Sorry, what's he calling you?

Margaret.

I like that. Margaret. Classic.

- Why don't you leave him alone?

- Alone?

He can't be left alone.

He's an actor.

If no one's watching him,

he doesn't really exist.

And for the record...

I'm not the one deceiving him.

He'll figure it out eventually,

and when he does, who do you

think he's going to blame?

Good night, rat face.

Good night.

Hey, neighbor.

Sorry for the psychotic episode.

Okay.

Are you okay?

You look a little Beautiful Mind-ish.

How many times should

the number nine come up?

Probablistically?

"Probablistically"?

You know what I mean.

One time out of ten.

How about every time?

But they only show up

when you look for them.

Looking for them changes things.

Some of these are prices,

and there's gonna be a lot of nines.

There's something wrong.

There's something wrong

with the world.

I can get you out of here,

but you have to trust me.

Good morning.

Everything okay?

Peachy.

Peachy's good.

I like peaches.

You want coffee?

Yeah.

What do I do?

Do you trust me?

You okay?

No.

Tell me about the nines.

The nines?

The nines.

It's sort of hard to start there.

Try, and don't tell me

I'm imagining it,

'cause they're showing up everywhere,

and I want to know why.

Best guess?

They're your subconscious

trying to remind you who you are.

I'm a nine?

Yes.

Doesn't make much sense

out of context.

You're not gonna

understand this yet, but...

we've known each other

for, like, 25 years.

One day when I was 12,

you called me out of the blue

and we've been talking

ever since.

Talking.

On the phone, usually.

I never met you

before I came here.

You, Gary, never met me, no,

but you're not always...

I can understand

why you're a little confused.

No, no.

I'm a lot confused.

Theories?

- This is all a dream?

- No.

- I'm in a coma?

- No.

Then I'm dead?

This is hell or a purgatorium

or something?

Okay, purgatorium

is where Romans vomited,

but no, this is as real

as anything can be.

What does that mean?

Everything is what it is,

but you're not

who you think you are.

God, no, Gary, please don't.

You can't trust her.

She's a nine.

You don't know

what you're doing.

Okay, so what happens

if I cross this line?

I don't know,

but it's not good.

Sh*t.

Previously

on Behind the Screen...

Gavin Taylor is one

of the best TV writers out there.

Every network would kill

to work with him.

- Good to see you!

- You look wonderful.

My name's Gavin Taylor.

I'm a film and television writer.

Knowing is a one-hour drama

about a woman

whose husband disappears.

She believes that her daughter

is the key to a dark conspiracy.

Even way back into The Fugitive,

where they didn't have

the full setup

and the payoff in each episode.

Knowing is not

gonna be Crim9 Lab,

not the popular kind of

mystery shows that are out there

where we get all the answers.

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