The Nines Page #7

My ex-boyfriend the orc,

used to say,

"The thing that I like about you

is you're not so hot

I'm afraid I'm gonna lose you."

So where's the orc now?

He's dead.

I spiked his water bottle

with a massive quantity of GHB.

He hallucinated,

went into convulsions, and died.

Remind me not

to piss you off, Sarah.

Sierra!

Sorry.

What makes you think

you haven't pissed me off already?

How you doin', kiddo?

I was thinking we could all go

to El Cholo for dinner tonight.

How do you feel about

some blue corn enchiladas?

Should we ask Daddy

when he gets back?

He's not coming back.

How could you?

How could you?!

How could you.

How could you.

How could you...?

- How could you?

- Cut. Perfect.

I feel so dirty.

That's how I like it.

Wait.

Something's wrong.

I feel...

Wait.

I have a wife and a daughter.

They're waiting for me.

- Where are they?

- Back at the car.

Which direction?

Face it, G, you don't know

where they are.

You don't know where you are.

We've been walking

in circles for an hour.

- Where is your car?

- There is no car.

It was all a pretense,

an excuse to get you on your own.

You getting dizzy?

It's just the GHB in the water.

What's happening?

I'm sorry that it had

to come to this, G.

I promise it's gonna

be over soon.

You're trying to kill me?

No, this is not a murder.

It's an intervention.

Do you feel like a man?

You're not.

I had to get you away from her.

She was holding you back.

- You had to give her up.

- Melissa.

- Allee--allee--all come free!

- There's something wrong...

I can get you out of here,

but you have to trust me.

Do you feel like a man?

'Cause I'll tell you

a little secret.

You're not.

Why are you doing this?

You did this to yourself.

And admitting that

is the first step.

You're a crackhead, G.

Thing is, this planet

and these people,

they're your drug of choice.

It wasn't that hard

to make a universe.

At first you just checked in

every once in a while...

...see how the Neanderthals

were doing,

move a couple

of continents around.

But then you got

more into it.

You started playing a couple

of characters of your own.

Slaves, kings, messiahs.

Pretty soon you were playing 24/7.

How long have I been...

You've been gone

for 4,000 years,

not that time means

the same for us.

You came looking for me?

That's what a girl does.

Why now?

Because you forgot

who you were.

You forgot this wasn't real.

We couldn't just storm in

on a fiery chariot.

It was your universe.

We had to play by your rules.

We had to show you how limited

and corrupt your little world was.

Don't get me wrong,

it's a nice place.

It's cozy...

...but do you remember

where you came from?

Do you remember

where you came from?

It was warm.

And white, like a...

You can't describe it

with human words.

You can't think it

with human thoughts.

We need you to come back.

With us.

Come back with me.

You can destroy the world

with a single thought.

You can destroy the world

with a single thought.

Don't, incidentally.

Just file that away.

The truth is you hold all the cards.

When people pray, they

don't want this thing or that thing.

They just... they don't

want to be forgotten.

You understand?

Noelle?

I would have

told you earlier, but...

Noelle?!

Maybe if I just cut back;

didn't get so involved.

We both know

that'll never work.

Next week you'll be back here

redesigning the pinecones.

You have to quit, cold turkey.

I can't.

You can,

but I can't force you to leave.

You have to want it.

Noelle!

Come on!

Answer Mama!

Answer me!

She's here.

I didn't forget

about you guys.

Everything okay?

Yeah, everything's fine.

Absolutely.

Let's go home.

Good night, Jellybean.

You need to go, don't you?

No.

I can stay.

How long, forever?

Every day you'd be here,

you'd know what you were missing.

What happens if you go?

Worst case scenario?

Disintegration of everything

into a fiery void, oblivio accebit.

The end of everything.

That's all?

Probably wouldn't happen.

I guess I'm more worried

about the human factor.

You guys kill each other a lot.

In fairness, it's usually in your name.

Plus, we've gotten

much more efficient at it.

I like this world.

I like my life here

with you and Noelle.

It's not real.

I'm not really your wife.

You're not really my husband.

On some level, it's all pretend.

How many versions were there?

Ninety.

This is the last one.

I've destroyed billions of people

with a thought...

and you'd like to think

that it's painless.

Stop.

You don't have to explain

or apologize.

Everything that is

is because of you.

And if that's all there is,

that's enough.

So.

So.

Guess you don't really

need to pack anything.

I'm good.

You're great.

- It has been a pleasure.

- Likewise.

I love you.

I love you, too,

you big lug.

You're my favorite.

...should we measure it first?

Got flour, we have flour.

All right, so I need oil.

We need nutmeg.

Honey, do we have nutmeg?

We should.

Good. Good, good, good.

- Nutmeg.

- Cinnamon, too.

If I had a horse,

I would name her Cinnamon.

- And if I had another horse...

- Nutmeg?

No, Flash.

What? Why Flash?

I mean, I would name her Flash

because she'd be

the fastest horse in the world.

I mean in the whole world.

- In the whole world?

- Ever whole.

The ever whole world?

That's pretty good.

That's pretty fast.

Yes, and I would be a princess.

Sweetie?

This might sound really strange,

but what's my name?

Mommy.

Right. Exactly.

He's not coming back.

But it's gonna be okay.

He put all the pieces together.

- It's like...

- The best of all possible worlds.

Honey, is it supposed

to stick like this?

- Better help him.

- Let's go.

- Do you see what I'm talking about?

- Oh, my gosh.

...consistency.

Is it maybe a little... it's too thick.

We can safely say

that's too thick?

Will you get some milk?

- Get milk?

- See, it says milk on the recipe.

Ready?

Oh, my. Oh, no!

All right.

Oh, don't mess it up.

Don't mess it up.

Thank you.

Shouldn't we

be using a machine?

- Isn't there a machine we can...

- I'm the machine!

You're our machine?

- All right.

- Come on, machine.

Okay, hold on. Let's...

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