The Ninth Configuration

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THE NINTH CONFIGURATION

Aborting the launch.

Aborting the launch.

There is nothing up there!

Nothing, nothing!

Somebody's coming.

Good morning, you f***ing Venusians!

You wanna fight me? I'll fight you!

May Day, May day,

Sink the Bismarck!

I'm coming down.

Look out..this looks like a job for superman...

Damn you Mayor Nammack,

get a move on! Move on! Move on you weirdos!

You know I wish you'd douche; sincerely.

Watch your elbow.

Hey mom, could I have a quarter for the movies please?

Damned sun, there is no color in the air.

- What country is this?

- The Bronx.

Attention!

Hail Caesar!

Towards the end of the war in Vietnam

an unusually high percentage...

... of american servicemen suddenly manifested symptoms of psychosis.

Most of them were in combat...

... and had no prior history of mental disturbance.

These facts,

plus the epidemic scope of the problem

and the controversial nature of the vietnam war...

...led american authorities to wonder whether many...

... if not most of the men, were faking.

To probe the mystery,

the government established a network of

secret study centres and clinics.

The last of these

No. 18 was highly experimental in nature...

... set up in an old abandoned castle in Pacific NorthWest in United States.

Among these inmates was an astronaut,

who during final countdown

had aborted the mission into outer space.

Robert Browning had the clap,

and he caught it from Charlotte

and Emily Bronte.

- Shut your mouth, you crazy bastard!

- You don't want to hear the truth.

- He caught it from both of them...

- Shut up!

F***ing weirdos.

Yellow smartass college pricks...

- that says it.

Who do you think you're kidding, huh?

Well bad news boys.

Tough sh*t.

Well, guess who's coming to take command next week?

Can you guess boys, huh?

A psychiatrist!

The best. The best in uniform!

The greatest f***ing psychiatrist since Jung!

Guessing you're good at,

you slimy snakes...

- Bravo.

- Good image.

- Splendid, Groper.

- Just one more thing sir.

What?

Stick a pineapple up your ass

and pretend you're Hawaiian.

-Jesus..

Dammit! Who the hell is coming?

Vincent, vincent...

Vincent!

- Sorry, sir.

- Yes, its alright.

I confess that I love you...

... tell me will you love me too.

I confess that I need you...

Oh yes, I do.

- ... need you every morning.

- Shut up!

What's that in your hand?

A fog horn...chinese junks have

been reported in the area.

Cutshaw, get back in the line.

- Fall in!

- You're supposed to be nice to us, Groper.

Here comes the psychiatrist, Groper..

time to clean up your act!

Yeah, call us pricks now, Groper.

Go ahead.

Hey, lets hear it for the shrink!

Let's have a song "You are my sunshine."

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...

... you make me happy,

When skies are grey.

You'll never know, dear,

How much I love you....

Please don't take my sunshine away".

- Boys, would you knock this off.

- F*** you.

Its very pretty.

Famous lines from famous movies!

"Oh Frankie, your mother forgives me!"

Victor McLaglen in "The Informer"

"We don't need no stinking badges"

"The Treasure of Sierra Madre"

Thank you, sargeant.

- Take care.

- Goodbye, sir.

Goodbye.

He's done it again...

My jacket, my shirt and my pants...

Sir.

Boys, come to attention.

You've go to say "Simon says"

then we'll do it...

Play therapy. What a fine thought!

- Poor bastards.

- Simon says fall in!

You're a psychiatrist, aren't you?

Kane...

Yeah, I thought so. I'm Fromme,

I'm a medical officer.

Sure as glad you're best.

I can use all the help I can possibly get.

- Cutshaw!

- F*** you.

Just answer:
"Present".

They're really far gone.

Perhaps...

Perhaps?

What do you mean? You're following

some crazy new school of psychiatry?

These guys are nuttier than a wagon-load of pralines.

Fromme, where is Fromme?

- Would you please direct me to my quarters?

- What?

- My quarters, would you please direct me to my quarters?

- Sure; just follow the yellow brick road.

- I beg your pardon?

- I said follow... here they are.

Sargeant Krebs and Christian, Sir.

And bloody damn well about time...

Will you get this man into surgery?

Or you are planning to just let him

stand here while you and your buddies play soldier?!

For chrissake, what is this?

A hospital or a nuthouse?

No, no!

Not the stethoscope!

Don't let him wrinkle the pants.

I'm colonel Richard Fell,

I'm the medic.

Really...

Boys, aren't you being a little dick silly?

Vincent?

Could I have it again please?

You remind me of Vincent Van Gogh...

Either that.... or a lark in a wheat field.

I'm not sure which.

- Have you been drinking?

- Never in uniform, no.

I see.

That's my last pair of pants he's got there, you see.

All the rest of them are at the cleaners.

and Colonel, if you're planning on

my holding this salute much longer,

would you mind calling the Memorial hospital and telling

the donor arm is ready for the transplant?

I expect it to be falling off almost any second now.

Thank you, sir.

You're a prince of the realm, I swear it.

Attention!

Shut your f***ing mouths.

Firmes!

Listen, I know my rights.

I want to see my urologist.

Hail Caesar!

Sir, I present the group.

Jesus Christ...

Dismissed.

Ok, set the cards.

Anything wild?

Douches, 3s, 5s, 7s, 9s and Jack.

You are a very sick man.

Are you finished?

- Most people cut them only once.

- 13 is my lucky number.

Yup, I know what you mean.

It was Amy Biltmore's place.

She had it brought over here from Germany

in 1900, stone by stone...

It belonged to her husband, Count of Eltz.

What's the matter? You don't like it?

Its hardly therapuetic.

Yeah, Exactly what Dracula said about it.

But its hidden away in the spring, the Biltmores not brought him for nothing.

Wish I hadn't said that...

- You remind me of someone.

- Who?

I don't know.

But you seem so familiar to me.

Dracula said that too. You see,

when he sees a neck, he'll say anything.

- I guess it will come to me.

- What?

Who you remind me of...

Oh, didn't you say -

- I hid it goddammit, I hid it.

Where did you find -

- Groper.

But sir, he's been pounding that...

I don't care what he's being doing,

You're not to put your hands on him.

But colonel, he can't...!

Yes sir.

Right, sir.

Whatever you say, sir.

- You're Capitn Fairbanks?

- Not today.

I'm sorry?

I'm sure you were...

Not today, do you understand me?

Multiple personality.

- My house has many mansions.

- Yes.

I am Dr. Franz VonPaulie.

Why did you do that to the wall?

Because I am convinced that

we can walk through walls.

Not only me...

Anyone.

Cops, people.

People in Nashville.

I tried to exert the full force of my mind

on all the atoms of my body,

So that they will mix, rearrange and

fit exactly all the holes in that wall.

Then I tried the laboratory method...

I tried to walk through it...

through the wall...

Just like a few minutes ago

when I took a running bash,

and I failed horribly.

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