The Old Curiosity Shop Page #3

Hold your nonsense' Mr. Quilp.

I Wonder you're not ashamed of yourself'

talking before a strange young man.

This strange young man

is himself too susceptible to your feminine

charms not to agree With me' Sally.

- Oh' is he indeed?

- I am?

- You are.

- Oh' yes' I am.

Good afternoon' sweet...

lady.

Pray' might We not be introduced properly'

Mr. Quilp?

This is Mr. Dick SWiveller' sister.

A gentleman of good family Who is content'

for a While'

to fill the humble situation

as our neW solicitor's clerk.

- By Whose authority?

- (Quilp) Mine.

If you Want my continued business.

And We are very happy.

Very' very happy indeed.

I propose Mr. SWiveller

enters upon his duties at once.

- And Where Will he sit' Mr. Quilp?

- On your chair' ma'am.

Until you can buy another.

- Mine?

- Of course.

HoW charitable of Mr. Quilp

to suggest such a thing.

Sally's chair fairly vibrates

With the power of the laW.

It'll be your guide' your companion...

- and your friend.

- (Sally) Oh' Will it?

(Quilp) Yes' ma'am.

It Will.

Well...

You'd better take it... (Slams chair)

..Mr. SWiveller.

(Door closes)

Keep an eye on Mr. SWiveller' sir.

As a friend of the brother

- I Want him to lead us to the child.

- 'Course' Mr. Quilp.

(Clears throat)

Good Lord' Who are you?

- I'm from beloW stairs' sir.

- Really?

There's a gentleman come about the

advertisement. Will you shoW him the lodgings?

I have nothing to do With them.

ShoW him yourself.

- Miss Sally said I Wasn't to' should she be out.

- Why not?

Cos people Wouldn't believe the maid service

Was any good if they saW hoW small I Was.

They think they've been short-changed.

Very Well.

It's 18 shillin's a Week

and fires in Winter is eightpence a day.

What's the rent?

One pound per Week and the fires

in the Wintertime are tenpence per day.

- I'll take 'em.

- You Will?

Done.

What name is it' sir'

in case of letters or parcels?

My correspondence is taken care of.

Good day' sir.

(Hubbub)

(Tapping)

Hm. (Shrilly) That's the Way to do it.

- (Shrilly) Oh' Mr. Punch' Where's the baby?

- What are you doing?

- What does it look like We're doing?

- We're mending our dolls.

(Man) Helter-Skelter Gold Cup!

Come on' roll up!

Place your bets for the

Helter-Skelter Gold Cup!

(Nell) Why?

(Man) Why?

We're playing a shoW at the country fair.

Wouldn't do to let 'em see the present

company undergoing repairs' Would it?

- I suppose not.

- Of course not.

- Would spoil the illusion.

- Afternoon' gentlemen.

- Mr. Codlin!

- And Mr. Short!

- Partners...

- In the Punch...

- (Shrilly) Where's the baby?

- ..and Judy! (Giggles)

Come on' We must go.

- Travelin' far' sir?

- Yes' I've tread a long Way.

- Might We ask Where...

- You're traveling from' sir?

- London

- (Codlin) Ooh!

- The city of dreams' eh' Mr. Short?

- And nightmares' Mr. Codlin.

For some.

- Roamin' travelers are you?

- Yes' you might call us that.

- Well then' take a seat!

- And share a pinch of snuff.

No' thank you.

- You must be tired' sir.

- After Walking so far.

Why not stay a While...for the child's sake.

And see our marvelous...

(Both) Doot-da-doo!

- Oop! Boing!

- Ha-ha-ha!

- Dong!

- Ooh!

Puppet shoW!

Oh' can We' Grandfather' please?

No' I think not.

Remember Why We're leaving London.

Goodbye' gentlemen.

There's money to be made.

If...you're in need of any.

(Man) Today could be your lucky day!

Roll up! Roll up!

- Money?

- (Codlin) Oh' aye.

The girl could help us seW some of our dolls.

Could We stay? Please?

(Fawning) Please!

(Laughs) Very Well' gentlemen.

Anything' if it makes

my granddaughter happy.

- That's the spirit! Come this Way' sir!

- There We go.

Give me that!

Can I help you' sir?

Your name is Quilp?

I'm looking for the previous owners of this shop.

An old man and his granddaughter.

- I'm told you knoW them.

- What's it to you?

That's my business. I Will not say.

Oi! Oi! Kit Nubbles! I Want a Word With you!

(Man) Who's the boy?

I'm afraid' sir' that's my business.

I Will not say.

(Chuckles)

Here you go' Nelly.

Your Wages.

Some bright neW pennies.

Thank you' sir.

You can't think What an interest

We have in you' my dear.

- Have you' Mr. Codlin?

- Oh' yes!

- Tell us a bit of your history...

- And if We can help you in any Way...

- Rest assured Mr. Codlin...

- And Mr. Short...

- Will! (Chuckles)

- Help me' sir?

- Oh' yes' my dear. You and your grandfather.

- Mm' Why is he running away?

- He isn't.

- Aah! Fibs' Nelly' fibs.

- This innocent creature cannot tell a lie!

- What's your secret?

- If you'll excuse me' sir' I must go to him.

- No' stay!

- Let go.

- Of course' Nelly.

(Short) We'll talk later.

(Codlin) When you've more time.

- Please. Please.

- Where are they?

- I haven't seen them.

- What about the bird?

What's goin' on? Who are you?

Where's the old man and the girl?

- (Baby cries)

- No!

(Laughs) Here.

I don't eat babies. I don't like 'em.

It'd be as Well to stop

this young screamer' though'

in case I shall be tempted to him a mischief.

Thank you.

(Mother) Who's a good boy?

- They shall be found.

- (Baby cries)

(Chuckles)

(Punch) Ladies and gentlemen'

boys and girls'

What you've got to do is

if you see the crocodile around 'ere

We Want you to let me knoW!

NoW' if you practice'

We'll say' ',Behind you',.

(All) It's behind you!

There's no crocodile there. You must have

got it mixed up With something else.

- NoW' it's very important you tell me Where...

- (All) Behind you!

They suspect us.

It's no longer safe here.

Come' my child' We must leave.

(Punch) Give us a kiss!

(Judy) Ooh' a kiss? On the lips?

- Yes. Whack!

- OW!

(Policeman) Open up in the name of the laW!

(Punch) Oh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

- I'll be a good boy for ever and ever and ever.

- (Crocodile growls)

(Cheering)

- Thank you' boys and girls.

- Thank you.

- Please give generously.

- You're so kind.

- Where they gone?

- There!

- Mind yourself!

- Excuse me!

- Get out the Way!

- Excuse me!

Where have they gone?

- We've lost 'em' you clod!

- You Were meant to look after them!

- Don't shove me!

- Watch the face!

(Thunder)

- What you doin'' Sally?

- Shh!

(Whispers) Peeping.

- On our lodger?

- Of course.

We don't knoW Who he is. I don't trust him.

It'd be an extremely unpleasant circumstance

if he Were to bounce out suddenly' my dear.

- SWiveller' fetch a bedpan.

- Bedpan?

And stand against that Wall.

- In case of violence.

- (Sighs)

Yes' sir.

Of course' I'd be more than a match for him

but I'm the master of the house

and the laws of hospitality

must be respected.

(Squawking)

What's that frightful noise?

- Might I possibly...

- What is your business here?

(Bird squawks)

Come in.

(Lodger) You have news of Where they are?

Stand aside.

Let a Woman's fortitude prevail.

We'll rest here tonight' eh' Nell?

Make a fresh start in the morning.

(Neighing)

(Driver) Yah! Come on!

(Cackles)

What's the matter?

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