The Old Fashioned Way

Is the show troupe on board? Yes.

Which car? | This car, here.

Well, wait a minute. | They'll all be off.

Is this the McGonigle | Repertory Troupe?

Uh-oh.

Where is the Great McGonigle?

He isn't here, | but I'm his daughter.

Has anything happened?

Not yet.

But I have something here | I'd like to give him.

I'll see that he gets it.

Not on your tintype. | That's my job.

Well, jail can't be | any worse than this.

The best thing | this troupe does

is to get out of town just | one jump ahead of the Sheriff.

Yeah, and I can't jump | like I used to.

What's wrong? | What did he do?

It ain't what he did do, | it's what he didn't do.

Snuck out | of his boarding house.

Didn't pay his board bill, | didn't pay nothing.

Nothing!

Are you McGonigle? | No.

Pardon me, | just a little lung trouble.

That's enough of that.

Are you | the Great McGonigle?

I am, sir, yes.

Then I have something | to give you. There.

Thank you very much.

Board!

Just what I've been | waiting for. I thank you.

Thanks for the light.

Good evening, | my happy little family.

How are my little children | of the theater?

Mr. McGonigle, | I've got to have some money.

Yes, my lad, how much?

Two dollars.

If I had two dollars, I'd | start a number two company.

For two cents I'd quit.

Pay him off.

Tickets, please.

Two score and five years ago... Tickets.

...when I was playing | Mahoney City... Tickets.

Good evening, sir, | how do you do?

I refer you to my amanuensis, | Mr. Marmaduke Gump, our manager.

I am the owner and the star.

Excuse me, please.

Tickets.

Now, if you'll point out | the members of your troupe.

Here's two. There's three. | Here's two. There's four.

What have you got | under your foot, Pop?

Under my foot?

Nothing, dear, | nothing under there.

The other foot.

Other? My other foot?

Oh, for goodness' sake.

I'm glad you noticed it. | What sharp eyes you have.

Let's see, my sleeping car | ticket. I must have dropped it.

Here, I bought it for you. | You what?

I bought it for you | this morning, dear.

No, you didn't.

I didn't buy it?

I saw that man drop it.

A man dropped it? | Well, that's funny.

Give it back to him.

Hmm?

Give it back to him, Pop.

Give it back? | Are you sure he dropped it?

Oh, well, then, of course. It | would be dishonest to keep it.

I'll give it back, but I'd like to | know where that one is I bought for you.

I had it.

Why, don't wait up | for me, dear.

I may play a little Parcheesi | before coming to bed.

Pardon me.

I had a ticket. | I think it was upper nine.

Upper nine?

Upper nine made up?

I'll see. George? | Yes, sir.

Upper nine ready yet? | Yes, sir.

Thank you. Get me the | ladder, please, George.

Yes, sir. | Thank you, my boy.

Quite stuffy affair. | This puts...

Not enough room | to swing a cat around in.

That gentleman | has upper nine.

Well, maybe it was upper six.

No, upper six is occupied.

You don't think I'd lie to you | about a ticket, do you?

Maybe this telegram | will tell you who I am.

"J. Weldon Potter, Grand Mogul | of the High Chamber Secret Order

"of the Veiled Knights | of Matthias. "

Quiet, please, quiet.

What is this, | a cattle car?

Drat!

Well, I had a ticket...

I'll get you... | Now get your belongings.

Hello, Betty.

And where do you think | you're going?

I'm going to Bellefontaine.

Listen, Wally, you've got to stop | following us around from town to town.

Oh, I'm not following us | around. I'm following you.

Well, you can't | follow me, either.

Listen, Betty, I'm going to be an | actor. I'm crazy about the theater.

I'm crazy about you, too.

You're just crazy.

You listen to me, | young man.

You're not going to get off at | Bellefontaine, do you understand?

Yes, ma'am.

You'll stay on the train | until you get back to college

where you should have | been a month ago.

Do you hear? Yes, | ma'am. Thank you, ma'am.

Are you going to do | what I say?

No, ma'am.

Oh, you're impossible.

You're... You're a fool.

Yes, ma'am.

Bellefontaine, boss.

Bellefontaine, boss.

Belle, who?

Bellefontaine.

Oh, hello, Belle, dear, | how are you?

I'll leave two tickets | at the box office for you.

No, sir, | Bellefontaine next stop.

Oh, yes. Oh, why, I'll get up. | Why, so it is. So it is.

Gosh, I slept well last night.

Bellefontaine.

Belle...

How you doing down there?

Who is that? Who is it? | What is this?

Who is it?

Who is it? What are you | doing? What are you doing?

You're acting | like an acrobat.

What's the idea...

What is the idea walking | around in my nightshirt?

What's the idea of wearing a nightshirt | big enough for people to walk around in?

Get in your berth. I was | when my face you stepped on.

Face you stepped on.

What are you, | Chinese people?

You walking around, | stepping on people's faces!

I... I break your throat!

What? | You... You...

The idea.

Why, was he talking to | me? Stepping on people's...

Papa, he stole my mallet.

You've been creating a lot of | disturbance around here this morning.

You!

I get you! | What are you doing?

You break my head, huh!

I break your neck!

Gangway, please, gangway.

Good morning, gentlemen.

I am the Great McGonigle. | How do you do?

Do you mind | drawing your legs in?

Thank you.

Good morning, Governor.

Good morning, Marmaduke.

Get my parade costume out. | Immediately.

Pardon me. Drat!

Thanks.

Good morning, | little bright eyes.

I hope you are well, | this effulgent morning.

Fine, Pop.

How are all of my little children | of the theater this morning?

That's what I thought.

I have a telegram here that will | warm the cockles of your heart.

I received it | last night at Pocatello.

"The Great McGonigle, | America's leading tragedian. "

It's headed that way.

"Train number 42, upper berth... | Private car number three.

"Dear sir. In reply | to your telegram,

"the advance sale | indicates the worst...

"The best business | this theater has ever known.

"Signed Sneed Hern. " | The manager.

I expect the populace down | to greet us at the station,

possibly with a brass band.

Bellefontaine! | Bellefontaine!

Godfrey Daniel! Strike me | up a gum tree. Here we are.

See, they not only brought a brass | band, but they brought out the militia.

I thank you.

My friends...

My...

Thank you.

My friends of the beautiful | city of Bellefontaine,

words fail me | in expressing our gratitude.

Few of you realize | the penalty of greatness

to which myself | and my company are martyrs.

During our peregrinations | of the seven seas,

we have always had a fond spot in | our heart for dear old Bellefontaine.

And in conclusion,

I wish to thank you on behalf | of myself, the Great McGonigle,

and on behalf of my daughter, | Miss Betty McGonigle.

And on behalf of | the Great McGonigle Company.

I thank you.

I thank you.

I thank you.

Don't shove, daughter. | Little jump here.

Welcome, brother. | I thank you.

I won't...

Left face. | Forward march.

Friends, your reception | has touched my heart.

The opera house is | sold out tonight,

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