The Only Living Boy in New York Page #3

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What kind of vulgarity

would you prefer?

A little bit over a year.

Why are you even seeing him?

He's married.

He is married.

- Do you work with him?

- Sometimes.

I'm a freelance editor,

so I work for all the houses.

Do you love him?

Define love, Thomas.

Do you think

that you're gonna marry him?

Is that the plan? You think

you're gonna steal him away

from my mother?

How do you know your mother

isn't giving him to me?

What's that supposed to mean?

I mean that people do things

all the time without realizing.

Your mother may be giving me

Ethan without comprehending it.

I mean, you're doing something

right now without realizing it.

Yeah? And what am I doing?

You're trying

to make love to me.

I'm trying to make love to you?

I'm trying

to make love to you?

You just don't realize it.

Andy warhol was

a close, personal friend,

and he gave us that piece

as a gift.

And now this goddamn committee

is going to take all that away.

Mom, it doesn't really matter.

These people,

these non-entities in Chelsea,

they're trying

to steal my past.

- They're trying to

erase my memories. -Mom.

We're gonna find the photo.

Look at this mess.

I need a cigarette.

But your father has declared

I'm no longer allowed

to smoke in the house, so...

All right, well, I'll

stay here and keep searching.

Thomas, I want to smoke and

talk to you at the same time.

- It makes the cigarette better.

- Okay.

Thank you.

It's just this perpetual cycle

of expectations

and disappointments.

You know?

The farthest distance

in the world

is between how it is and how

you thought it was gonna be.

Don't forget that.

I won't.

You're my light, Thomas.

You know?

I don't know what I'd do

without you.

It's this klonopin.

- Makes me so f***ing emotional.

- You're fine.

I want you

to stop seeing my father.

Oh, hello, Thomas.

Look, you're

a very beautiful woman.

You can get any man

you want in this city.

Could I get you?

What?

You said I can get any man

in this city.

So I'm asking, could I get you?

Which actually begs

another question, really.

Are you a man?

My mother's in a fragile state.

This affair could put her

over the top.

- How am I responsible for your mother?

- Because you're f***ing

- my father. -Okay, we know

that crudeness doesn't

- make one a man.

- Stop seeing him.

Nor do demands.

I'm not trying to be a man.

I'm not trying

to make love to you.

I'm trying to save my mother.

You're getting closer.

Johanna wasn't raised

by writers.

She was raised by bankers.

But the lingua franca of both

is fiction.

When Ethan floated the idea

of leaving his wife,

she assumed it was just talk.

But to her surprise,

his suggestion unbalanced her.

Instead of feeling flattered,

she felt suddenly needy.

Thomas's attention

was the perfect remedy

to her rattled confidence.

Those visions of Johanna.

She's not like anyone

I've ever met.

She said I was trying

to make love to her.

Oh. Were you?

No, I want her to stop

seeing my father.

Isn't that between

you and your father?

Why-why would you

want to make contact with her?

She's an outsider to what seems

to me to be a family issue.

Eat that.

- Uh-huh.

- It's good.

What was it?

You don't want to know.

So what are you saying, that...

I like dealing with her?

Uh-huh. That's precisely

what I'm saying.

And that I want

to make love to her.

Would you like

to make love to her?

No.

What kind of

a question is that?

- It's sick.

- How is that sick?

It's sick.

She's a beautiful woman.

- So?

- Her name is Johanna.

She's sleeping with my father.

Would you like to make love

to Johanna?

Will you give me

some credit, please?

- This conversation's perverse.

- Just ans-answer the question.

- Give me some credit.

- Stop drowning yourself

in what you think is moral.

You want to f*** Johanna.

Yes. I would.

And you said

your life was boring.

I couldn't have

handled today without you.

You know, I got hit on three

times coming from the bathroom.

And I'm pretty sure

they were all married.

Then it's a good thing

my father isn't here.

- That's not funny.

- Oh, no.

Groom's coming.

It's my ninja.

- It's my motherfucking ninja.

- Howard.

- Congratulations, man.

- Thanks, man.

Hey, this is Mimi.

- Howard. -Nice to meet you.

Listen. -Congrats.

I've been running through

riverside park every day,

nine miles,

murdering sobriety.

I've seen a lot of your mother

lately, actually.

- My mother?

- Yeah, yeah. I don't know.

She's, uh, always on

the same bench reading a book.

That's irwin. Irwin!

You guys got to meet

irwin Sanders.

He's buying the Knicks.

Howard.

- Hey.

How does it feel to be married?

- Well, sex already sucks.

- Ah.

Kidding. Kind of.

Uh, cond nast

took me back, actually,

so, uh, maybe I could get

an interview at some point?

Maybe.

Um, Howard,

this is my friend, Johanna.

- Hi.

- Congratulations.

Nice to meet you.

Thanks. This is Thomas.

- Hi. -Johanna.

- Mimi.

Hi.

You're being really obvious.

I'm not dating irwin.

It's none of your business.

I don't have to

explain myself to you,

but nonetheless...

He's a very good friend.

Where's your girlfriend?

She's not.

She's just a friend.

Oh, you shouldn't

let her do that to you.

He's 30 years older than you.

He's a billionaire.

I'm not stupid.

You are quite stupid, Thomas.

And you've got no idea

how the world works.

And, actually, he's not

a billionaire anymore,

because Nancy

got half of everything.

Doesn't really matter.

No, it doesn't.

You look nice.

What?

You look very nice.

In a suit.

I don't really think

you're stupid.

Just...

Confused and... young.

Irwin's probably

looking for you.

I'm sure he paid

for the whole night.

Oh, f*** you, really.

Hey.

- So, first of all... hooker comments?

- I know.

- I'm sorry. -You actually

resorted to hooker comments?

I'm sorry. I apologize.

Okay, second of all,

irwin's gay.

Okay? He loves men.

In fact, he loves

one man in particular,

a man named Billy arnaldi,

who happens to be

an incredible art dealer

and one of my closest friends.

So irwin doesn't want to

come out, for business reasons,

which is his prerogative,

and I come to events

like this with him.

I'm not a glorified hooker.

He's not a sugar daddy.

I'm his beard.

You really don't know

how the world works.

You're an innocent, Thomas.

You're a child.

I know some things.

- Oh, yeah?

- Mm.

Like what?

How it went down.

You and my dad, I know.

- Do you?

- Mm.

Okay, Thomas, Mr. Ace sleuth,

I want to hear it.

You noticed that

he liked to come in early.

Really early, like, what,

7:
00 in the morning?

So you started

coming in then, too.

You isolate and contain.

Told him it was because

you don't sleep well,

that the bad dreams, they shake

you awake before daylight.

In the mornings, you put on

music in your office.

Brahms one day, biggie smalls

the next, because, you know,

you can't be put into a box;

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