The Open Road Page #4

you could tell me where that might be.

You want me

to tell you where you are?

Yeah yeah. Yes, please. From your little

computer map there or whatever.

From my what?

Sir, will you please speak up?

I can't hear you.

Sir?

Hello?

Hey, Dad,

instead of just waving

at the next car that drives by,

maybe the next one you just flag 'em down

and ask 'em where the hell we are.

Yeah.

Great.

A Kentucky phone booth?

We kind of got off the highway.

And I can't get any

cell range out here.

Now we're completely lost.

Sounds like you're on

an interesting ride.

Yeah, well, I'm a little more

concerned about you right now.

Yeah, well, you mustn't

ever ignore the ride, honey.

Mom, okay, the truth of it is

I don't know how long this is gonna take.

And I just don't think

it's a good idea to wait for us.

Well, that's not

your decision to make.

Mom, we could be

talking about your life.

We are talking about my life.

Right.

All I'm asking

is that you do your best.

Look, I'm gonna

get him down there, okay?

- I promise you that.

- You do that.

I'll call you when we get

further down the road.

Let's go.

Come on, forget the map.

We'll stop and ask at the first place we see.

- I think we're on Farm Road 20.

- Whatever. Let's go.

- What is your problem?

- Problem?

- Yeah!

- Problem? I think it's plural, Lucy.

- I think I have problems.

- Okay, first of all,

stop calling me "Lucy."

My whole life

it's been "honey" or "baby"

or whatever,

and now all of a sudden

it's "Lucy."

And second of all, have you

even stopped for a minute

- to think about why I came on this trip?

- Oh yeah, oh yeah.

- You have?

- Yeah.

- Really? Why?

- I know exactly why!

- Why?

- To rub it in.

- What?

- I blew it, okay?!

You were the best thing

that ever happened to me

and I f***ed it all up!

What else do you want me to do?!

Do you want me to take this bumper

and plunge it through my chest?!

- Yes, that would be a start!

- Fine! Fine!

What are you doing?

You look like an idiot!

I am an idiot, okay?!

Are you happy now?

I am an idiot, okay?

That's me.

So do you two

have a favorite song?

You know,

like a couple's song?

No.

"Que Sera, Sera."

Oh yeah.

I remember that one.

That's a good one.

There was this singer

called Jonny Ace

back in the day.

He had this beautiful song

called "Forever My Darling."

It was a real dandy.

That was his mother and mine's.

# Forever my darling #

# I'll always be true #

# From now till forever #

# I'll love only you... #

# Just promise me, darling #

# Your love in return #

# Make this fire in my soul, dear #

# Forever burn. #

That gonna be it?

Maybe just some cyanide.

Uh, Advil would be fine.

My wife makes those.

- How much are they?

- Five bucks.

I think she's

charging too much.

I don't know, man.

Here. I'll take two.

Let's see,

that's gonna be...

$14.50.

- Uh, so...

- Yeah.

So this is gonna be easy.

You just go straight

down here to the 20

and you're gonna see

that sign for the interstate.

Thank you.

- You get it all figured out?

- Yup.

You'd think this humdinger

would have one of them sonar deals

to track our course

straight from the start.

You know what I'm saying?

But then again, we could've

stayed on the interstate.

Well, what the hell do I know?

I'm just Tom

and Hazel's baby boy.

I always kind of wished

that I'd played ball

back when they

used to take trains.

Travel around with the boys.

Wouldn't that be something?

The last team that did that

was the Royals.

Now they...

see, they went

from train to plane.

They never took a bus.

I don't know. I guess

the owner's wife must have died

in a bus crash or something.

Something chapped your hide?

- What, me?

- Yeah, you. Yeah.

No.

- Well, what is it then?

- Nothing.

You don't like my stories,

you can just say so.

Dad, it's not that.

I just... I'm worried about

a lot of things right now.

I'm sorry if I'm a little pensive.

- Pensive.

- Yeah, I guess I'm just distracted.

I know what it means.

I wasn't suggesting that you

didn't know what it meant.

Just because you make

diary notes now,

you think you're the only

literate one in the family?

- Is that about right?

- What?

- Okay, what's happening here?

- I'll tell you what's happening.

You're being a pissant.

- Excuse me?

- You got two good people

to agree to go on this

whole road trip with you.

You ain't being very nice

to either of them.

Maybe you should appreciate

what you've got in front of you.

My mom is waiting for you

in an emergency room

and you have the gall

to criticize me?!

You're the worst husband

in the history of time!

Hey! Where the hell

are you going?!

This whole thing

is a revenge thing.

- What are you talking about?!

- Hey, let me tell you something.

I don't owe you anything!

Understand that.

I never have and I still don't.

Who said you owed me anything?!

I don't want anything from you!

- What do you call this?!

- This is for Katherine!

What part of your brain

can't understand that?

Hey hey, I don't spend my life

just hanging on a coat rack.

- What?!

- For five years, not one word?!

- Oh, come on!

- You don't call me

- for five years?!

- Nobody called me either!

- I called you last.

- No you didn't!

I left you a message

two Christmasses ago.

Yeah, and I left one for you

on New Year's!

That was three

New Years' ago!

What are you doing?

Sh*t.

- What happened? Here.

- Get away from me!

- Let me help you

- Get away from me!

- You okay?

- I'm fine. I'm fi...

What the hell'd you do to him?

Hey, how's he doing?

Well, he's pretty banged up,

but I gave him a shot of cortisone.

Should do the trick.

I'll refill his prescriptions

and you can pick 'em up at the pharmacy.

- All right, thank you so much.

- Sure thing.

- Are you holding up okay?

- Yeah, I...

I have a bit of a snowball effect

thing happening here,

- but I'm fine.

- Oh, you don't sound fine.

What's on your mind?

I don't know, Grandad.

I guess I thought I knew

what I was doing with my life

and I'm starting to think

I just screw everything up.

You know,

I'm no one to give advice,

but I can tell you this:

Life is about

screwing things up, Carlton.

That's what we're here for.

It's the things you screw up

and still have the courage to fight for.

Those are the things

that usually matter the most.

Okay?

Okay.

It's open.

It's open!

Hey, Kyle, it's me.

Oh. Hey.

Come in.

- Ol' doc took care of me.

- Well, good.

I'm gonna get your

prescription in a minute.

Oh, don't worry about that.

I'm gonna pick that up myself.

I just need to

take a little time here.

Everything all right?

Yeah.

Um, I was just wondering

if I could talk to you

for a minute.

A minute? Yeah, you could talk

to me for a whole hour.

Come here. Sit down.

What you got

on your mind, darlin'?

Well, remember the other day

at the gas station

when I got your bag for you?

Yeah.

What are you doing out here?

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