The Other Woman

1

Where you going? Come here.

Wait, wait, wait.

Sorry. You're right.

We barely know each other.

Maybe we should

have a drink and talk.

Actually...

...my zipper just got

caught on my necklace.

But if you want to talk,

we can. Sure.

Okay, great.

Or we can talk after.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Come on!

No!

Let me tag along for a drink.

You said I'd like it.

It's too soon.

Once you meet my dad

and I meet your friends,

they become a part of this...

...and I just want to stay in

our bubble a little longer.

It's been eight weeks.

You keeping track?

Happy Anniversary.

I saw it and...

...I thought of you.

Open it.

Good morning.

Why do I schedule

breakfast meetings?

For the bacon, I think.

But you need to

lay off that until

your cholesterol's down.

Why not turkey?

Screw turkey.

I like pig.

Well, I heard

a story on the news...

...about a guy who ate an

undercooked pork chop and...

...got a worm that made his

brain swell up super fast.

Uh-huh.

And to relieve the pressure, they

had to cutout a chunk of his skull.

Oh, wow.

Like a triangle of his skull, they

cut it right out of his head...

...and they implanted it

in his groin...

...so it wouldn't die.

Otherwise,

his brain would have...

...his head

would have exploded.

Mmm-hmm.

The skull was

holding his brain...

...which was swelling, and his

head would have just exploded.

Just think of that

next time you eat pig bacon.

I will.

Here you go.

Thanks, sweetie.

Thunder!

He needs training.

I'm taking him to

obedience school today.

Oh! And we need a check

for the painter, too.

That reminds me, I need

you to sign these, honey.

What are they?

Oh, just some stuff

for the accountant.

I don't even understand this.

I can't even read these anymore.

I already read it for us.

You just have to sign.

No, I really

don't understand this.

I feel like I need

to go to brain camp.

Like, a brain camp.

Where they give you

exercises for your brain?

When people have lazy eyes...

...they get

their eyes worked out

so they don't

have to wear glasses.

Mmm-hmm.

They should have

that for your brain.

Like a brain camp.

You could go lay on

a beach and get tan

and drink gingko balboa all day.

You come back and

you're super smart.

It's gingko biloba.

Balboa was Rocky.

Right. See? See? That's why

I need to go to brain camp.

Any messages?

I don't think so. I've kind

of been in the zone here.

You weren't going

to mention these?

Why? They're the

first things you see.

Micromacks? I thought Dave Cohen

was handling this merger.

No. The client said

he was too emotional.

They wanted a ruthless

law robot, so...

I got Micromacks.

Get Dave on the phone. I need

all pertinent materials...

...and a set of

dates for deposition.

Why do you work so hard?

The point of being pretty

is that you don't have to.

You don't see me worrying

about my job, do you?

Unfortunately, no.

That's because I have a Stan, okay?

He works.

I come here because it's

like a hobby that pays well.

Oh, by the way,

your dad called...

...to confirm that you and he were

still on for drinks with "Mark."

Who's Mark?

The guy I'm seeing.

Obviously, but which one?

The only one.

There's one guy?

And you're calling him Mark?

You never use their names!

So, Model Man Boy

and Dr. Not So Smart...?

Gone.

The Hot Rabbi?

And the Hot Rabbi's Cousin?

Cut them loose.

You cleared the roster.

I cleared the bench.

Wow.

You haven't dated

just one guy in a long time.

It's not a big deal.

It's very new.

No jinxies. I get it. It's good

that Mark doesn't have a nickname.

It means he's still viable.

You haven't rejected him.

He's not a donor kidney.

Not the organ I was thinking of.

Hello?

Hi. Red or white?

Red or white what?

Wine.

Did you forget?

Forget what?

Dinner with Phil.

You told me that was next week.

I said next week

last week so it's this week.

I got to work tonight.

Again? This is

the third night this week!

The guys want to do dinner. So

I'll stay in the city tonight.

Why don't I meet you

after your meeting?

I'll drive in to meet you in

the city after your meeting!

No, you don't want to do that.

I don't mind!

We'll have so much fun!

We'll go to that hot chocolate

place in the morning.

We'll cuddle and sleep in.

Screw it.

I'm coming home.

Really? Aw!

Really.

Family comes first. I'll

see you when I get back.

I'll make a steak and salad...

Sh*t!

Wow, look at you!

How are you?

Not too great.

Oh, what's wrong?

The housekeeper called.

A pipe burst in the bathroom...

I have to go handle it.

Oh, no! You're going

to Connecticut now?

I got to. There's two feet

of water in my basement.

I can go with you.

That'd be fun.

No, you go see your dad.

I'll see if he can

meet tomorrow night.

I won't be back tomorrow night.

And what about meeting my dad?

I'm sorry, baby.

I have to take a raincheck.

Yeah, okay.

Don't be mad.

I'm not being anything.

What do you want me to do?

Go to Connecticut.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Okay.

Call me when you're

done being pissed.

That might be a while.

Hi, hon.

Here, you want this?

I'm switching to vodka.

Ugh!

Who orders gin?

Uh, I couldn't read the menu because

I left my glasses at Nina's.

Want to know who Nina is?

Not really.

Indian girl.

Beautiful.

Soft skin.

We met at Trader Joe's.

She told me about

this naan bread.

When did you start eating naan?

She's 24, a dance major. I eat

anything she tells me to.

Ew!

Where's your guy?

I think we just broke up.

No! How come?

A pipe burst in his house and

he went back to Connecticut.

And where in the story

does he act like a jerk?

It's how he handled it.

You're being paranoid.

No, something feels off.

And when I get this feeling,

I'm usually always right.

Oh, please! Every relationship

I've ever had, something felt off.

That's probably why you're

wrapping up divorce number five

with one of my sorority sisters.

You really like this guy, huh?

So forget all this bullshit

and go surprise him.

It's not bullshit.

It is.

Put on something sexy, get

your ass out to Connecticut...

...and fix that

young man's plumbing.

Don't worry, you look good.

He'll love it.

Who?

Whoever.

Here you go.

Thanks for the ride.

Need me to wait?

Nah, I think I got it.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm looking for Mark.

Oh. What's this about?

I'm Carly. You must

be his housekeeper.

No, I'm his wife, Kate.

Is this some kind of

stripper-gram or something?

Oh.

No. No. I have

the wrong address.

I'm looking for

a different Mark.

Mark Kink.

Mark King?

No! No, no.

He's a short guy? Bald?

Lives a couple of

streets over on Clark.

There is no Clark Street.

Anyway...

Ooh! Ah! Ah!

Oh, my God!

Sh*t.

Um. I'll send you

a check for your urn.

Can't forget this.

What happened?

It must be big. You were crazy

about him two days ago.

It can't be the sex... you were a lot

nicer and your hair was more shiny.

He has a wife, okay?

He's married.

You don't think

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