The Other Woman Page #2

you can take her?

That's not the point.

I don't do married guys.

I don't need to wreck

someone's home for a date.

It's not always a wreck. Stan

and I were married when we met.

We weren't happy.

Now we are.

You wrecked two marriages!

First, one was mine, so that

doesn't count. Second...

...Stan's wife was fat,

with no sexual charisma.

That marriage was doomed,

so it wasn't cheating.

I don't think

that's how it works.

But I think a married guy

is a perfect fit for you.

Mark was able to lead

a whole other life

Without you even noticing.

You need a guy with

something to keep him busy.

Not a wife!

I don't do this. I'm

too old for this sh*t.

I've been dating for decades!

I don't need this anymore!

Somebody's being negative.

I'll go.

I'll tell you what my mother

told me... words to live by.

Selfish people live longer.

I'm just saying.

Miss Whitten? There's someone

here to see you... Kate King.

Hi. I'm Kate.

I met you on Friday.

Yeah, I remember. Sorry about your urn.

Why are you here?

Um, I found your number

in my husband's phone.

So, um...

Well, actually, the phone bill,

because I couldn't crack

the code on his password.

Which is fitting, as obviously I don't

know anything going on in his life.

But, anyhow, I'm here.

I thought maybe we could talk?

No, we can't.

If you have any questions

about your husband,

you should ask him.

Oh, well, I would,

but I'm pretty sure...

...he's lying to me and

sleeping with you.

So...

Am I right?

Oh!

Am I right?

You're sleeping with my husband?

I'm sorry.

I had no idea. I swear.

You're sleeping

with my husband?!

Could you keep it down?

Oh!

Oh, gosh. Okay.

Oh, oh...

Ooh!

I did not expect this at all.

I thought I would come here and

you would tell me I was crazy.

I did not think that

I would be right at all.

I mean, maybe a little,

in that too-horrible-

to-be-true kind of way.

The say-the-awful-

thing-so-that-

the-awful-thing-

doesn't-happen thing.

Ooh! Oh!

Does this...

Does this open?

The window? Anywhere?

There's got to be a little

latch or something.

Does this window open?

No, and for good reason.

If you're having a panic attack,

go outside and get some air.

Let me just lay

down for a minute.

You sure

the window doesn't open?

No. You'll be fine.

This window. Just open it a little.

Crack it. Just crack it.

If you don't mind...

We're out of air. It's hot in here.

Just crack the window.

Okay, I'll tell you anything

you want if you just leave.

Anything?

Anything.

Okay.

Help me up.

How long have you and my husband

been seeing each other?

I don't know...

a couple months.

Did you just start

sleeping together?

We were going to hold off for prom,

but we just got carried away.

We're adults. We had sex.

The details don't matter.

The details do matter, because.

...there's a difference

between having sex

one time and

having sex ten times.

Oh, my God! Did you do

it more than ten times?

I think specifics

are a bad idea.

Okay, fine.

Gun to my head...

...fifty.

Fifty times?!

Fifty times?!

You had sex with my

husband fifty times?!

Don't you have a job?! Or hobbies?!

What is wrong with you?!

Does this mean he's not

training for the marathon?

Yeah... No.

This is not okay.

I am part of Team King.

I quit my job so we could focus on his job.

I put off having kids...

...because he wasn't ready.

I went to China! Do you

know how far away China is?

And it's not all

Hong Kong, either.

Lots of pollution.

What do I do?

Now I'm Barb Melman?

Barb Melman got divorced

and now she has...

...cheek implants and lives

in a condo in Norwalk...

...and has to go on dates. I am

not equipped to go on dates.

The last time I was

single, I was 24

and the dating

pool was everyone!

Now it's like

a shallow puddle...

...of age-appropriate

men who are old...

...and gross and

I don't want to do that!

I know that you think

it's that bad,

but honestly, it's a lot worse.

You know why?

Even if you meet a nice guy... and by "nice"...

...I mean that he's not

an obvious sociopath...

you can't get

excited about it...

...because it's just

a matter of time before

someone gets bored and unhappy

and is saying it's over.

And that's a happy ending.

A shitty ending...

...is that there's

lying and cheating

and you ambush

Prince Charming's wife.

You're saying

I should stay with him.

I'm saying everything fails eventually

and monogamy is not natural.

If you can live with that, like

the French, then stay put.

But if you can't, I suggest you

get a game plan and leave.

But what about the people who try to

work it out? Maybe that's an option.

Cheaters don't change.

And if you work it out, he's

just going to do it again.

You'll end up back

where you started,

wishing you'd left

the first time around.

But that's just me.

He's your husband.

What does your gut tell you?

Jesus Christ!

It was just a burp.

Can I get some napkins?

That was throw-up.

Ah!

Oh, my God!

Okay, great, come on. Let's get in the car.

Come on, come on.

Okay, okay.

Bye! See you later!

Bye, see you later!

Bye, I'm going.

This is a bag full of vomit.

It's not my first.

Come on,

let's get you in the car.

Get into the...

That's enough.

No, don't go just yet.

Just one kiss.

One kiss and good-bye.

Okay, that was it.

Okay, let's go.

Let's get into the car.

Be very careful.

I don't want to go.

Put your foot down.

Please go.

Let me just... Wait.

How are you doing that?

Okay, let's go this way.

All right.

Get over.

It's a step down.

Step down. Step down.

Okay, there you go.

There you go.

It's really nice,

what you're doing for her.

Yeah, that's me...

Mistress of the Year.

Okay, Fernando, go, go, go!

Best night ever!!!

Ever!!!

Bye!

Yes!

Holy sh*t.

Call me!

That is so weird.

My husband likes this pasta.

Milk?

My husband prefers goat.

My husband likes a meaty sauce.

...doing the Benson

Depo on Tuesday...

...but if we want it on video, I

need a different court reporter.

Kate King is at security.

What?

Kate King.

Excuse me.

What's up, Leonard?

Hey, Miss Whitten.

Ray Charles over here

tried to pass herself off

as a blind woman

to get upstairs.

Oh, no, I didn't!

I'm wearing these glasses

because I look like sh*t.

He saw the dog and drew

his own conclusions.

That did not happen.

And if I was Ray Charles, I

would actually be blind and...

...need this dog, so thanks

for making no sense.

What is it?

I'm not French. I had a

little Edith Piaf moment...

...but the idea

of worrying about

white shirts and

thin turkey and all that...

...while pretending not to

know about his whores...

...is really throwing me

into an all-American rage.

Not that you're a whore!

You're not a whore.

Okay, turn around.

Turn around.

You're not a whore.

Let's go outside.

I'm assuming you came here

because you think we're friends

and that I care

about your problems...

...but guess what?

I don't.

I don't care about you or Mark

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